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When The Narcissist Says "I Love You"

The narcissist will tell you that they love you. They will advertise and promote it, as though it is at an apparent bargain. With the intention of substituting it for something of inferior quality. They build these feelings towards them in your mind. Which then makes you believe they care for you. Because they're reciprocating that love, loyalty and enthusiasm back to you. You thought it was meaningful. You thought it was real. But in reality, they're just inducing these feelings of love, loyalty and enthusiasm within you. They pour it on in an emotional, yet insincere way to build a fake connection to you. Because the more of a connection you think you have with them, the more power they have over you. These feelings of love, loyalty and enthusiasm cause you to let you guard down. It takes away your resistance. It takes away your anxiety or fear that something bad or unpleasant might happen. It changes the way in which you deal with them. It gives them complete access to you. Which is something that they will abuse. But you give in because you want to be loved.

You want to be acknowledged for whatever brave or noble acts you have done. For whatever contributions you have given. For your assistance. You might assume that these things would mean something to someone who is in need, when you choose to assist them. You might assume that they would respond to your kindness, by being kind to you. By doing something useful for you. But it doesn't work that way with the narcissist. They just see you as a tool. They see you as something that should be used to carry out a particular task or function. If they have a job that needs to be done, you become their source of supply. Other than that, you serve no purpose to the narcissist. But it's like they have this predatory sixth sense, which they use for their own survival. Where they can sense when a person has been starved of love. They can sense when a person has been starved of validation. They can pick up on that. They know that you've never been appreciated enough for what you've done in life. They will get you to talk about everything bad that you have experienced.

So that they can identify your weaknesses. So that they can learn how to use love against you. And they do this by using the push-pull technique. Where they give you a compliment or a kind gesture and then they pull back. They put an end to the very feelings and emotions that they constructed upon you. They bring it to an end suddenly and unexpectedly. With no logical explanation or reason. Because it's designed to confuse you. So that they can buy time and then work on their manipulation. To cause you to loose your freedom of choice or action. By enslaving you emotionally to the stimulation of their version of love. They use love as a weapon. But it's not even real love. It's a simulation of love. It's an imitation. It's designed to deceive you. So that you continue to desire these feelings from them. They use love as an intermittent reinforcement. By keeping you in a constant state of uncertainty. And then either rewarding you with love or punishing you with love. So that they can influence and then control your emotions. Because it then gives them power over you. By making you want to be acknowledged by them. Because you've already been preconditioned to be this way.

Maybe by a narcissistic parent who used the same tactic against you. All you wanted is for your narcissistic parent to love you. To give you affection. And the narcissist is able to pick up on it. They can detect this lack of love. Because it's something that is very familiar to them. And when they pick up on it, they will constantly put you in a state of feeling unworthy. As though you're not good enough. They bring you back to your past, to situations where you did feel unworthy. Where you didn't feel good enough. They leave you feeling as though you're not deserving of them loving you the way that they could. Or the way that they should. When in reality, they have no love to give to you anyway. This behaviour stems from a lack of love. They're just using a simulation of love. It's just something that they've created for you. To get you attached to them. So that they can then use it against you. They will say that they love you. They will give you compliments and gifts. And then they take it all away suddenly and unexpectedly. Which then leaves you wondering what you did wrong.

It leaves you looking for an answer to try to fix it. And the sick and twisted part about this, is that the narcissist is fully aware that there isn't even a problem. They're brainwashing you. They're teaching to accept an idea or belief uncritically. By repeating the idea or belief to you, until you accept it without criticism or question. They're grooming you. They're preparing and training you for a particular purpose or activity. They're putting you through a process. Rather than allowing you to experience a natural development. Because this process is designed to strip you of your own identity. It's designed to strip you of your own self-worth. And get you to identify your value with whatever they deem to be appropriate. So that you can be prepared to obey them unquestioningly. So that you become their subordinate. When they return with this fake love, it makes you more obedient and cooperative. Which they can then string along. Because they're misleading you deliberately about their intentions over a length of time.

Which is how many victims end up in long-term relationships with them. Because they managed to rewire your mind into wanting them. They've created this addiction and dependency. Because now you're depending on them to regulate your emotions. You're depending on them to determine your core value. To determine how you see yourself. They've managed to get you to depend on them for all of these things. Because you want that love that you thought was real in the beginning. When the narcissist doesn't love anyone. They think love is for fools. It's just something that they will use to their advantage. It's something they will use as a weapon. Which is why it is very dangerous to be in love with a narcissist. Because they will only ever see you as a fool. For being compliant and submissive to them. But they will use it to keep you dependent on them. So that they can use you to self-medicate their own sickness. To subdue their own addiction. Which is their supply. Which is the only reason why a narcissist would say that they love you. To keep that supply.

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Wow! Very well said.This explains why when my narcissist daughter(only child)& estranged father (20yrs)(together),did horrible, unexplainable things 🤯(?)(financially)to me, right up under my nose for years. One day she said to me,I KNOW you love me!?!(reverse psychology(It didn't work).Before I knew it,I said,NO! I do not(& I meant that!!😬How am I going to love something I don' recognize anymore🙄🤔?.I had difficulty continuing to love& repeatedly forgive my abuser of many years?Loving her,was like a cell phone roaming to connect & love a cell phone tower ,but knock- knock no was ever there(?). The towers kept rejecting me every time. "There's no connection with a discon nection".In reality,this disconnection& finally LEARNING about narcissism kept me from loosing my mind.This work ed out so well.Now I just have…

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