You will never feel like yourself around narcissists. As Tony Robbins has said, "“The strongest force in the whole human personality is this need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves”. You cannot stay consistent with how you define yourself while you around the narcissist. They are always trying to mould you into what they want you to be, which is never in your best interest. They are self absorbed and lack empathy, so they will mould you into whatever benefits them. Being yourself or staying consistent with how you define yourself, will not benefit the narcissist in any way. If you tried to be yourself around the narcissist, it would cause a narcissistic injury. And I'm sure that if you've ever tried to be consistent to how you define yourself or stand up for what you believe in, you will have witnessed the narcissistic rage.
You being yourself is very threatening to the narcissist. When you are being yourself, it makes them feel inferior. It makes them feel as though they are not good enough. When you are with a narcissist, you have to neglect yourself and pretend as though you don't exist. You cannot be yourself, because you have to focus on the narcissist and when you are around them you will feel powerless and out of control as they forces you to unconsciously give away your inner strength. You may feel that you were a completely different person before you got involved with the narcissist. Before you got involved with them, you may have been more relaxed, more confident with more fun and love in your life. Narcissists target your self esteem and make you feel like you're always on edge. They take the fun and love out of your life. When you are around them, you will feel as though you are being pulled out of alignment with who you really are. The narcissist will completely erase you, re-create you to their liking and then blame you for their own creation. You have many natural qualities, talents and traits which the narcissist does not possess, but it was what attracted them to you. They hoped thatyou would rub off on them or that you could be used to support them or give them narcissistic supply from other people. But they soon realised that your qualities, talents and traits could not be theirs. Now any time that they have to witness your true personality or character, it infuriates them. It causes a narcissistic injury because it reflects on them and how they do not possess the qualities, talents and traits that you do. They do not have the same potential or capabilities as you do and they know this. That's why they spend so much time trying to limit or restrict you. They get angry when you do certain things that might involve displaying your true character and personality. They don't want you to be you, because it makes them feel inferior. When they have to witness you having friends or talking to other people, it really makes them angry because they do not possess the genuine attractiveness or charm which you possess. They can fake it and act as someone who is attractive or charming, but they know that it's not real. They know that it's just something they've seen someone else do or something they have seen in a movie. They know it's not really who they are, they know it's not their true character and personality but when they have to watch you engaging or interacting with other people, it becomes a reminder to them that they are not real. They are not genuine or authentic and they get jealous of anyone you talk to. They are addicted to people, attention and admiration. When they see someone talking to or complimenting you, they believe that the attention and admiration that you are receiving was meant for them. They believe that everything should revolve around them and everyone should serve them. When someone engages or interacts with you, they feel as though you have stolen their attention and admiration. Although narcissists are addicted to people, they cannot get the same fulfilment as you do. When they interact with people, it's all about them. It's all about extracting whatever attention and admiration they can get in that moment. It has nothing to do with the person they are interacting with. Because of this their conversations are very shallow or superficial.
Narcissists are very boring people, everything they talk about revolves around things that exist or occur on the surface. They have no interest in deep meaningful conversations. They don't even have the capabilities to engage in a genuine conversation. It always revolves around them and how they are going to extract attention and admiration from that person. So they are jealous and cannot get the same fulfilment and they don't want you to be yourself, because it reminds them of how they are never being themselves. Because of this, they will keep you isolated away from people Any human interaction or stimulation has the potential to cause a narcissistic injury because it makes them feel as though you are stealing the attention and admiration that was meant for them. They also feel jealous, as though someone is taking you away from them and it reminds them that they cannot get the same fulfilment. Anything that makes you feel happy, satisfied or fulfilled reflects on them and how miserable they feel. They have to make you feel alone and miserable, for them to be happy. You cannot do any of the things that you want to do. You cannot do anything that resonates with who you really are. It makes them feel jealous and reminds them that they do not possess the same qualities, talents and traits as you do or the same potential or capabilities. If you have any hobbies or interests they will usually tell you that you're no good or you're spending too much time doing those things and you need to make time for them. It reflects on them and makes them feel like they're not good at anything, so they have to project this feeling on to you. They feel as though this hobby or interest is taking you away from them. Because of their arrogance and entitlement, they believe that all of your time and energy should be spent on them. By the end of this you will be so confused. You will have completely changed your physical appearence, character and personality to please this unpleaseable person. You will no longer find joy or happiness in the things that you were once so passionate about. You can never be enough for them and this is why they are always trying to change you. No matter what you do, you will never satisfy them. They cannot be satisfied. To be an emotionally healthy person, you must define yourself. You must define who you are, what you're about or what you are worthy or deserving of. You cannot do that around the narcissist, because they have to have the control. They have to control your perceptions, actions and behaviours to suit them. They have to manage or restrict whatever you're doing to prevent any potential pain or emotional distress to them. They do not see you as a separate being, they see you as an extension of them. So your emotional state will always reflect on how they feel. This is why they have to manage or restrict your life. As long as you are around them, you will never be confident and you will never be truly happy.