You must avoid the narcissist because they're damaged. They're not good for anything long-term. They can be good for short-term relationships. The beginning of a relationship with a narcissist is rarely what people complain about. But when it comes to long-term relationships and having a family, that's when the problems begin to arise. You should always avoid anything long-term with narcissists. Because they have psychological problems. They have problems that you can't solve. But these problems will become your problems, if you enter a long-term relationship with them. These problems will affect you. Because narcissists are out of control. They will make it your problem. They will cause drama and chaos just to get your attention. Because they were raised by a single mother, or they didn't have a strong father figure. They were never disciplined. So now they think they can do whatever they want. They don't understand emotional boundaries. They didn't have a man there when they were growing up. Which is clear from their disorderly and disruptive behaviour.
Where they are not amenable to discipline or control. That's why they're so disobedient and unmanageable. That's why they're so rebellious and attention-seeking. Because they never had a strong father figure to lead them. So from day one people have enabled this behaviour. And even when the narcissist got older, there was no incentive for them to change. Because society glorifies narcissism. It's seen as a desirable trait. So there's no way that you can come along and give them the discipline that they never had. It's too late. They're just going to walk all over you. You can't teach an old dog new tricks. They can only teach themselves. But they don't see anything wrong with their behaviour. It's worked for them all their lives. It's gotten them what they wanted. So why would they change now? Which is why your only option is to avoid the narcissist. Because they're unpredictable. You never know what they're going to do next. And they will make you dedicate all of your energy towards them. Rather than your goals and dreams. Which is why you must avoid them at all costs. Because when you're building a career to maintain your family, you need to focus. You need to be dedicated to your career, so that you can build the income to support your family. So that your children can have a good future. But to do this, you need a partner that is supportive. You need someone who is on the same page. Someone who will give all of their attention to the children and helping you to achieve your goals and dreams. Which would be for the benefit of the family that you're building. But narcissists are not reliable. You cannot depend on them to be there for you. When things get tough, they're not going to be by your side. You must avoid the narcissist, because they will always demand for your attention to be focused on them and their problems. They will demand that you fix their situation. But by doing that, they are taking your focus away from your goals and dreams. They are taking your focus away from your long-term goals and objectives, that they should be supporting. Because narcissists need constant attention. The spotlight always has to be on them. Everything has to revolve around their problems. Which will then result in you not being able to achieve your long-term goals and objectives. You will not be able to support your children and give them a good future. Because the narcissist will drain your resources. Which is not what you want. You want someone that is going to help you. Rather than someone who is just going to be a leech on your energy and resources. If you're just seeing a narcissist in a casual relationship, it might not be a problem. Because then they can't really affect your life. But when you're dealing with them long-term, eventually they will begin to suck your energy.
They will pull you down. While making you feel guilty, as though you're not doing enough. You become their caretaker. Your entire life begins to revolve around them. You try to save them, but they just weigh you down. Which is why if they demand too much of you, you must avoid them. You must leave them behind. Because they're going to bring you down. You will never achieve what you want in life. Because they will make sure that they are the center of your attention. They will make sure that everything revolves around them. And your life will just pass you by. Whatever you were striving for will just become a forgotten dream. A distant memory. Because the narcissist will always drive you away from the things that you want. So when you realise what you're dealing with, you must discard the narcissist. Or 10 or 20 years down the line, you will live to regret not having discarded them.