top of page
Writer's pictureNarc Survivor

Why The Narcissist Treats The Next Person Better

The narcissist often treats the next person better. They give them everything you wanted from them. They begin by pointing out your faults and mistakes. Things that are of little importance. Things that don't really matter. Which then leads to them betraying you. It leads to them becoming devious. Where they end up plotting and scheming against you. But they won't tell you about these things that they don't like. They will be indirect and dishonest. Because they know that it's not worth talking about it. They know they don't have a solid stance or a valid argument to back up their case. But they will let it build up, until they have enough to justify their wrongdoing towards you. Things that they shouldn't be doing. They will go out and do these things to you. Because that's just the type of person they are. They focus on things that are of little importance. And then they blow it out of proportion.



They exaggerate it. Because they're childish and immature. So they will tease you and do things to you. But they wouldn't want you to do that to them. Which is why the moment you even imply that you're going to do something of a similar nature. They will get very angry. They will call you abusive. They will say you don't care about them. But they didn't feel that way about themselves, when they did the same thing to you. Which is why you cannot be in a relationship or even be friends with these types of people. Because when it's all over, they will project everything they've done on to you. They will blame you for everything. And then they will use it to justify them going off with someone else. Because it's an endless cycle of patterns and behaviours. They just do the same thing again and again. When you first met them, they were telling you things about their ex. They said they did this or that. Without taking accountability for anything that they did. Which is when they go off to the next person. When you may have just wanted them to do certain things. You may have asked them to cooperate with you. You may have asked them to stop fighting you. But then they went off with someone else. And now it may look like things are going well with this new person. But it's because they're on a mission, to prove something to you. Because it's a competition. And they're trying to win. By proving to you that you were the problem. Because they're fine with this new person. They're able to give them everything they need. So it will look like they're doing better. Because they intended to find someone else and do everything that you wanted them to do. But this is where karma comes to get them. Because the very thing that they were withholding from you. Which they then gave to the next person. Is what causes them to get taken advantage of in the next situation. Because they were always so cold and distant with you. And you just wanted them to open up. You wanted them to cooperate with you. You wanted them to be more understanding. So that you could have a better relationship. But they were playing a power game. They were competing for control. So they used breadcrumbing. Where they were giving you just enough crumbs of attention and affection. While you were making them a priority. But the game ends when you confront them on their behaviours. Because that is when they turn against you. That is when you become their enemy. And then they start competing with you. So they don't care about who they're with next. They just want to prove a point to you. They just want to show you that you were the problem. And it makes them feel better about themselves. When they give the next person what they didn't give to you. Even if you don't see it. Because it makes them feel like they're getting revenge. They're punishing you. So if you always wanted to get married or have children, they will go and do that. Because they're hoping that at some point you will see it. They want to hurt you. They want you to feel like you're lacking the quality or quantity required. As though you're insufficient for a purpose. But they're just playing a role. It isn't real or authentic. They're just using it to take revenge on you. Because you caused a narcissistic injury when you confronted them. When you realised they're fake. It hurt them. Because deep down they know that it's true.



So now they have to get you back. By doing everything you wanted with someone else. By giving their commitment and cooperation to someone else. Which is very crazy and foolish. It's lacking good sense and judgement. Because it could be anyone. They don't even care who it is. They're so desperate to prove a point, just so they can feel better. But they end up in a worse situation than when they were with you. And sometimes you will see it all fall apart. But you may wonder why they couldn't stay with you. You may wonder why they had to move on with someone else. And the reason for that is because their false character was not built for longevity. Because they know they're too weak to sustain it. So it has to be short-term. It has to be short-lived fun and excitement. And they will always end up betraying you in the end. Weak characters will always betray you in the end. Because you cannot build anything out of games and nitpicking. Nothing good will come out of their foolish behaviour. They had their chance with you. They had their chance with a winner. And life doesn't work the way that they think it does. They don't just keep finding winners. And if they lost their chance with a winner, then what other choice do they have? If they couldn't win with a winner, then how are they going to win with someone else? They're defective. So you should let them go. Because you should only want high quality people in your life. So don't go running after them. Their behaviours reveal a weak character. So wherever else they go, they're not going to succeed or meet the requirements. They might get by in the beginning. But eventually, it's going to fall apart. So you shouldn't be jealous about anything they're doing. Because you should remember the type of person that they were. If they couldn't make something happen with you. And they wanted to go somewhere else. Then they've got nothing coming. But they were all talk in the beginning. They talked about doing things, but they never actually did them. Because that was just to get them the audition. So that they could get the benefits that come along with it. But after that, they became less and less effective. Their performance deterioriated with time. Because they got what they wanted. So then they did things with little effort and care. And that's not what you want. So when you realise that, you won't care about losing them. You won't care that their not on your team. Because they're not going to help you win anyway. They're just going to disappoint you. Because they're not going to do what you expect or what you trust them to do. They're going to fall short. They're going to become absent or inadequate. They're going to drop out. Because they already know they're not what's really meant for you. So they were only there to benefit from you. They knew they weren't any good for you. But they knew something else out there would be good for you. And that is why they stuck around. Because they didn't want you to have that. Even though they weren't really trying to be with you for the long run. They stuck around to reduce you to the bare minimum. They used secrecy and dishonesty to achieve an advantage over you. To reduce you to the lowest possible level. And then they were out of there. And they complained about how you couldn't do the things you used to do for them. They said you're nothing like you used to be. But what they didn't say is that they were the cause of it.



They were the reason why you hit a slump. They were doing things behind your back. They were sabotaging you. They were causing you stress. They were always in disagreement with you. To make sure that things got worse for you. So that when they were ready to leave, you would have nothing. No comfort, safety or security. No pride. No confidence. No money. They wanted to take all of that away from you. So that when they finally leave, you're so messed up that you can't get anyone. And they're happy with that. Because if they can leave you in that condition, then they're never going to regret leaving you. If they don't have to watch you move on, making things happen and being something to someone. Something that they didn't want you to be. Because they never wanted to be anything to you. They just wanted to stick around long enough, to fulfil their task of tearing you down. Which is why they never tried to lift you to a higher position. They never made you more cheerful, positive or optimistic. They never helped you to build anything. Which is why there was no point in them even being around.


123 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page