The narcissist will insult you. They will treat you with disrespect. They will cause you to seem less valuable or impressive. They will make you seem smaller and less important. They will make you feel like you're not good at something. They will say that they are embarrassed to be around you. As though they can do so much better than you. They will make fun of your appearence and preferences. They will do anything to make you feel like you're less than you actually are. Sometimes people may tease you. But it's intended to make you laugh. It's intended to amuse you. There is a difference. Because teasing is conducted with the intent to find pleasure. While when the narcissist is giving you little digs, they are intending to harm you. They will devalue you. They will dehumanise you. They will deprive you of positive human qualities. They will make you feel less than you actually are. Which doesn't feel funny.
It leaves you feeling hurt. It leaves you feeling like you're not enough. It leaves you feeling unsafe. But they do it to dominate you. They do it to have power and influence over you. To control you. Because as long as they can make you doubt yourself, you're not going to go anywhere. Because you're not going to think you're deserving of anything better. Which is how they keep you down. They give you little digs, because they know you're better than them. And they may even know that you're aware of that. Which then reflects back to them that they're not enough. So to manage your perception and to manage what is reflected back to them, they give you these little digs. To make you feel like something is wrong with you. Because then it takes the focus off of themselves. Which is very different to teasing someone. Because when you tease a person, they may find amusement in that. And they still feel like they're in a safe place. While the narcissist will give you contemptual insults. They will express deep hatred and disapproval. Because they're envious and jealous of you. They feel like you have something better than them. So they want to bring that down. Because it's making them feel small. Everything the narcissist says or does is designed to offend you. It's designed to hurt your feelings. It causes you to feel upset, annoyed and resentful. And it affects your self-esteem. It makes you feel like you're not enough. Which then causes you to remain in other toxic relationships or jobs. Because you think that's ok. You think that's what you deserve. Insults are damaging. It's not an act of love. It's an act of deep hatred and disapproval. And it is not good for you.
While teasing can be fun and playful. Because it's not intended to harm you. Which is why if you knew that it was hurting the other person, you would stop immediately. But when the narcissist says or does something and they know it's hurting you, they will repeat that behaviour. Because they get off on it. It gives them gratification. Because they're not wired like a normal person. At some point in their lives, someone found pleasure in their pain. And at that point, they learned that another person's pain is supposed to be their pleasure. Which is why the narcissist gets off on your pain. Which is why they're always giving you little digs. But if you confront them, they will only gaslight you. They will act like you got it wrong. Which may make you doubt yourself. But you should never try to justify or rationalise what the narcissist has said or done to you. Just identify that they are giving you little digs. They are insulting you. It says everything about them and nothing about you.