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Why Narcissists Actually Have No Power

Narcissists don't have any power. Because what little power they do have, they give away to other people. Because they need people. They hate being alone. They get bored. They feel like they're missing out on something. There's nothing worse for a narcissist than their own company. That's why they hate rejection. They always need a distraction. They need relief from their unpleasant reality. By seeking entertainment and engaging in fantasy. Or by having a relationship. They don't get into relationships to build something with the other person. They see their partner as someone who is meant to serve them. Someone who is meant to meet their needs. Someone who is meant to support them. They're heavily dependent on their relationship partner. They need them to validate the illusions of their false self. And if they refuse to do that, they will be used as their doormat and as their emotional punching bag.

Which is still supporting their false self. It's still telling them that they are superior to you. They use people to support their false beliefs about themselves. Which reveals that it's a false image. Because it's not self-validated. It doesn't come from within. They're pretending to be something they're not. And they're receiving false compliments and praise. Because they're not really about any of that. They're just playing a role to get attention and validation. But many of them get so caught up in their false character, that they start to believe their own lie. They start to believe that the character is who they actually are. It's actually a form of psychosis. Because they're not grounded in reality. They don't know who they are. All they know is their false character. And that is why their image is so important to them. Because that's all they have. They abandoned their true self. They abandoned their true identity. And when they created their false self, it may have created opportunities for success.

It may have fed their ego. Which is what it was intended to do. But the character can also change depending on their success or lack of success. Depending on who they're around. They will tell you whatever they think you want to hear. They will show you whatever they think you want to see. Because they're very insecure. They need acceptance. They need compliments and praise. The narcissist never loved you. They were never emotionally attached to you. They have an inability to do that. Which is how it's so easy for them to discard you. They extracted love from you, because it made them feel powerful. When you loved them, you were giving your power to them. And when they started to devalue you and you began to hate them, it still made them feel powerful. Because it made them feel relevant. It made them feel like they were something significant to you. Because they were able to affect you. If they can get a reaction out of you, it's because you're giving your power to them. You're giving them supply. But you can also choose to not give them your power.

You can choose to not give them supply. By ignoring them. By walking away. And when you do that, it destroys them. Because they're main objective is not to make you love them. And it's not even to make you hate them. Their main objective is just to make you care. To affect you in some way. Which is why the worst thing you can do to a narcissist is to show them that you don't care. To act like they don't even exist. Because they depend on you to feed their ego. They depend on you to make them happy. But they don't want you to know that. They don't want you to know just how much they need you. That is why the first thing they have to do. When you begin to realise that they're not bringing anything to the table. Is tear down your self-esteem. They have to break you down. So that you won't realise just how much they need you. So that you won't realise how important you really are. They trick you into thinking that you're beneath them. As though you have nothing that they would want. When really, they actually think you're greater than them. That's why they do it.

Narcissists do not have any power. They strip us of our power to maintain their authority over us. It's an illusion of power. Because they never look within themselves. They never take accountability. They depend on us for validation. They project their fear and shame on to us. Because they actually need us more than we need them. Which is why they're so persistent at lovebombing. And tearing down our self-esteem. They will do anything to get you to attached to them. To make you dependent on them. Because then they can gain control of you. They can feel relevant. But without having someone to control, they wouldn't feel in control. So you are the one who has the power. Which is why when you stop taking them seriously and you walk away from them. Their false reality crumbles. It falls apart. And it reveals how they actually have no power at all. They just tricked you into giving your power to them.

They manipulated you. They deceived you. Because they're heavily dependent on you. They need your attention and validation. To prop up their false self. Because without that, they have nothing. There's no happiness inside of them. Which is why they need constant entertainment. To distract them from their unpleasant reality. You are giving your power to the narcissist. But you may not have been aware of it. Which is why they stayed with you for so long. But when you do finally realise your power over them. That is when they will ghost you. That is when they will disappear. And you may never hear from them again. Because at that point, they're just going to see you as a lost cause. They're not going to have any use for you. You're only useful to the narcissist if you're unaware. If you don't realise your power. Because then they can trick you into giving your power to them.

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Nov 23, 2022

It is very interesting that for so long living with a narcissist causes you to be called the weak one. They see you as weak or at least they tell you that. They act very self-important and in charge of both themselves and the situation. When you finally get away from the narcissist, you finally realize that you were strong all along. If you weren't, you never would have made it. After the narcissist left, I found that I was doing everything all along. I was paying the bills, cleaning the house, doing work, doing all the gardening and mowing and pretty much taking care of everyone's physical and emotional needs. I'm glad that I've had these three years to…

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Well done Carly …. You made it and you will flourish now xx

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