It may seem as though the narcissist is very forgetful. As though they don't remember things that they have said or done. They don't remember their lies. They don't remember the abuse. They don't remember how they betrayed you. They forgot about all of that. They can give a detailed account about you. But they can't remember the things that they have done. They don't understand. When really, they're manipulating you. So that they can avoid accountability. So that you can't express your dislike for what they've done. Because they don't remember it. Or they do remember, but they remember a different version of events. Because they're living in a fantasy world. So your engagement with them has no basis in reality. Because they're operating from a state of mind that differs from the normal state of consciousness. They're not really with you. They may be there physically. But they're not there in the mind. Because instead, they may imagine you as their favourite actor or singer. And they will use that person to take your place, while they are interacting with you.
Which is why they will often triangulate you with other people. Or compare you to their favourite celebrity. Because they're trying to create and customise a fantasy character. They're delusional. They live outside of themselves. And they know how to twist and bend reality to their liking. This is why they seem to forget the things they've said or done to you. This is why they don't understand when you bring logic and reasoning. Because they don't want to understand. If they tried to understand, it would bring them closer to reality. Where they would have to take accountability. Which is why they want nothing to do with reality. Because then they can remain in the same state of mind that they've always existed in. And by doing that, they can change the way you view them. They use tactics to alter your perception. To keep you off your game. So that they don't have to be accountable. So that they don't have to grow. Which is why narcissists stay the same. Because a narcissist is really just someone who has an arrested development. It's an abnormal state in which their development has stopped prematurely. Because they were never held accountable for their actions. So they never had to grow out of that state of mind. They never had to adjust. So they seem crazy. They seem strange. They seem like they're mentally ill. They don't engage in normal behaviour. They don't think or rationalise like a normal person. Because they haven't developed mentally and emotionally, like a normal human being. They were never told what is right and what is wrong. They were never held accountable for their actions. So they wouldn't even know how to respond. They wouldn't know how to do the right thing. They wouldn't know where to start. So by default, all they can do is lay in their own filth. All they can do is make you think that something is wrong with you. By making you question your own memory, perception and sanity. By creating stories about things that you never said or did. Because they're delusional. They're detached from reality. They create these things in their minds. They're not really with you. They're insane. They're not living in the same world that everyone else is living in. Because they've created an alternate world inside in their minds.
Which is more appealing to them. And sometimes they don't have any control of it. So there's nothing you can do. You can try to explain or justify the things they do, but it won't make any sense. Because you're trying to make sense of it from a sane mind. In order for you to understand it, you would need to jump into their world. But I don't think that's something you would want to do. Because their world is full of irrational fears of things that don't even exist. But they created this world because they just wanted to escape. They wanted to run away from their problems. But they ended up in a world that was created by their fears. It was created by their problems. So it was never going to be good for them. And as long as you're involved with them, you're going to get caught up in it. You're going to get pulled into their world. And it's going to have an effect on you. Which is why you just have to fall back. Because you can't be dealing with that. It will make you crazy. You will end up thinking that something is wrong with you. Which is why the only thing you can do is move on from them.
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