The narcissist acts difficult around you because they want to challenge your authority. They want to challenge your power and right to give orders, make decisions and enforce obedience. They want to break you down. So they will act like they're busy. They will take a long time to respond to you. They will make things difficult for you, because they want to break you down. They do it intentionally and for no apparent reason. Because they want power and control. They want the power to influence and direct your behaviour and the course of events. So they don't let you know their intentions. They don't want to make things easy for you. They want to make you work. They want to make you jump through hoops to get the result that you want. They want to make you do all of these things for them, because it makes them feel powerful and in control. It makes it very difficult for you to deal with them. Because they're always playing all of these games. And they're playing all of these games because they're deeply hateful and envious of you. Which is why they want to see you struggle. Which is why they want to see you going through it. Because they get off on it.
They want to see you try to make things right. Because it gives them attention. It makes them feel special and important. Because when you do that, you're validating their false self. You're supporting the illusion. But they know that as soon as you correct the situation, you won't need to put in work anymore. Which is why they don't want a resolution. They have to hide the pieces to the puzzle. Because they don't want a functional environment. They thrive in dysfunctional environments, where they can make you jump through hoops to make things right. That's what regulates their emotions. That's what sustains them. They like to make things difficult, because they want to break you down. And when they've done that, they discard you. Because they never liked you anyway. These types of people don't like anyone. They just use people for supply. If they did like you, they would make an effort to give you what you want. Instead of playing games. Instead of making you jump through hoops. But this is what they do with everyone, once they've spent enough time around them. They want things done their way. They expect you to comply with their demands.
Instead of them doing anything to support you. And they intentionally want to make things difficult for you. They want to make things difficult for you, because they don't really like you. They don't really care about you. They just get a kick out of watching you try to please them. When the narcissist makes things difficult for you, you need to stop accomodating them. You need to stop putting up with their games. If they're going to make your life difficult, it's not worth it. Life is so much easier without these types of people. They're just going to make you jump through hoops. They're just going to make things difficult for you. Because they're very insecure. They're very weak and fragile people. So they need to have control. It provides them with a false sense of security and stability. It regulates their emotions. It makes them feel better about themselves. And as long as you're with them, it's never going to end. You will continue to be their doormat. You will continue to be their emotional tampon. They just don't know how to treat you. They have no respect for you. So they're only going to set you back in life. They're going to be a hindrance to any progress that you try to make.
You will be taking one step forward and two steps back. You're never going to get anywhere. You're never going to accomplish anything while they're around. When you have a narcissist in your life that is making things difficult for you, your only option is to leave and go no contact. Because nothing is going to change, unless you decide to take action. They will be this way for the rest of their lives. Their behaviour is never going to change. If anything, it will get worse as they get more comfortable around you. They will start doing things you never thought they would do. Because you choose to tolerate it. The only person who could change in this situation is you. So if the narcissist is acting difficult around you, make that choice to leave. And then you will see how much easier your life can be, without there being a narcissist there to hold you down.
Beautifully said. This is so true. They repeat over and over. I have felt like I have been on a merry-go-round. It only keeps getting worse.
Nailed it! I was able to do just that very thing. I'm so much better off now. He is the most miserable person i have ever had the displeasure of trying to deal wt. Good luck survivors! Get outta there! Save yourself! Blessings...💨✨🌟💫