It may appear as though the narcissist is no longer attracted to you. It's actually not what you think it is. Furthermore, it has nothing to do with you personally and everything to do with them. Did you notice how once the narcissist knew that you were interested in them and they had secured you as a source of supply... This is when the relationship moved from the love-bombing phase to the devaluation phase. This is when they begin to lose interest in you. This is when they begin to devalue you. If they actually chose to continue the relationship as it was, rather than devaluing you, I believe that they could have fallen in love with you for real. But of course, that cannot happen, once they begin to see you in this negative way. Once they realize that you are interested in them, you suddenly go from being all good to all bad. Although you may not have changed in any way. As I said, this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. I am going to remind you of the negative qualities or traits which narcissists possess.
They are shame-based individuals. They are self-hating. Furthermore, they have low self-worth, low self-esteem, low self-assurance, low self belief and low self-respect. They are very insecure and have an inferiority complex. Now connect these negative qualities or traits to how they feel once they realize that you are interested in them or that you love them. Once they become aware that you are interested in them or that you desire to have a future with them. They suddenly become disinterested and choose to devalue you. Or at least this is how it appears to you. You may think that the narcissist is no longer interested in you, no longer attracted to you. But this is actually an illusion. It has nothing to do with you personally. The narcissist is not attracted to people who are interested in them. As soon as they realize that you have an interest in them, or you are attracted to them. That is when they will see the grass being greener on the other side. Not because they are not interested in you, or not attracted to you as a person. But because they are not interested or attracted to people who feel that way about them. I am going to repeat the negative qualities or traits which narcissists possess. Just let this sink in as I am saying it. They are shame-based individuals. They are self-hating. Not only that, but they have low self-worth, low self-esteem, low self-assurance, low self belief and low self-respect. They are very insecure and have an inferiority complex. Can you see how these negative qualities or traits connect to my belief that they are not interested or attracted to people who feel that way about them? In their minds it's like "This person is attracted to me? They are interested in me? There is nothing good about me, I am not attractive. I am not loveable. I am deeply ashamed of myself, I hate myself". So as soon as they realize that you are interested in them, you are instantly devalued and seen as an idiot in their minds. Because narcissists are deeply ashamed of themselves. They hate themselves. They do not believe that they possess any value, they do not believe in themselves or respect themselves. Likewise, they are deeply insecure. So in their minds, if you are interested in them, there must be something seriously wrong with you. Not because they see something negative within you. But because you are interested in them, you are attracted to them.
The narcissist believes that they are not meant to be loved. So when you try to show love to the narcissist, it only triggers them to reflect on their own insecurities and negative traits. They reflect on all of their undesirable qualities and think in their minds... "How could you love that?" They also believe that at some point in the relationship, you are going to come to your senses. You are going to realize how unlovable they truly are. You are not going to accept all of their flaws and insecurities.
From the moment they first met you, they already knew that there would be an expiration date on your relationship. Because in their minds, there is just no way that anyone could love or accept them. That's why they created the false character, the illusions. That's why they use manipulative tactics like denial, projection, blame-shifting and gaslighting. Because they know all too well that, with all of their insecurities, flaws and negative traits. There is no way that anyone could truly love or accept them. When you display to a narcissist that you are interested in them, or you love and accept them. That is seen as a weakness. Your value instantly decreases in their eyes. Because your interest in them triggers them to reflect on all of their insecurities, flaws and negative traits. I hope this has helped you to understand the reality, behind the illusion of the narcissist appearing to no longer be attracted to you, or interested in you. Remember, it's not that they are not attracted to you or interested in you as a person.
They are just not interested in anyone who is attracted to them or interested in them. At the beginning of the relationship, you didn't really know what they were about. But as you got to know them and still accepted and loved them. That then triggered them to reflect on all of their insecurities, flaws and negative traits. And how you cannot possibly be anything great, if you are interested in them. If someone likes me, I instantly see them as high-value people. Because I look at myself and I know I am a beautiful person inside and out.
I am lovable and I possess many great qualities. So in my mind, if someone is attracted to me, they must be pretty amazing people. But for the narcissist, it's the other way around. For them to have any sort of interest in you. You have to hate them, you have to hate everything about them. Because in their minds, once you have got to know them, they believe that's all they deserve. Remember, people treat you the way that they treat themselves. And how people try to make you feel, is how they feel about themselves. This is for anyone, not just narcissists.
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