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Why Do Narcissists Always Argue With You?

Whenever there is an argument with the narcissist, it will always have something to do with you. It always has to be your fault. They always have to put the focus on you. So they can avoid responsibility. They have no interest in understanding you or coordinating with you. Because they're very selfish and entitled. Everything has to be done their way. They have to believe that they are more important than you are. Because they have very fragile egos. Deep down they feel completely worthless and insignificant. So they constantly have to do things to make themselves feel like they are something. To make themselves feel like they exist. They have very fragile egos. So they cannot take accountability for their actions. It's too much for them to deal with. They have to blame and accuse you. It's a coping mechanism. They have difficulty managing stress. They have difficulty coping with life. Life is hard for them. Which is why they're like ticking time bombs. Anything could set them off. They lack stability. They have very low self-esteem. Which results in them having no care or concern for you. Because everything has to revolve around their fragile egos. They have to defend and protect it. That's why they're so controlling.

That's why they have to take away your free will. Because they fear your sense of self. They fear your differences and individuality. They have to control you to regulate their emotions and manage their low self-esteem. Which is why they act so arrogant and entitled. Which is why they're so defensive. They cannot be open with you. They cannot be vulnerable. Instead they create an alternate reality. They make stuff up. Whatever works for them. Whatever makes them look good. They will manipulate you to get what they want. They don't care about fairness or equality. All they care about is getting their needs met. They lack empathy. So there's no mutual understanding. Whenever there's a difference of opinion, they become highly argumentative. Which should reveal to you that you are dealing with a very weak, fragile person. They want to display strength, power and dominance. But underneath that facade, they are very weak and afraid. Which is why they always have to be in opposition to you. They cannot listen to you. They cannot agree with you on anything. Because in their minds, that means that you have the power. Which means that they're losing control. When everything they do is designed to gain control. It's designed to provide them with a sense of security and stability. Because that is something that they lack. Which is why they're so unhappy. That's why they always seem so agitated and annoyed. Because underneath their facade is a lot of pain resulting from their unresolved issues. Which is what they bring to the disagreement. Narcissists are shame-based people. And they're doing everything they can to avoid reflecting on their shame. At some point in their lives they learned that when there is an argument or disagreement, someone is going to experience shame. And they don't want to be the one who has to go through that. So instead they devised a strategy, where they could be the ones to assign that shame to you. Because if they can assign that shame to you, then they're no longer in difficulty or trouble. When they argue with you, they're trying to take the focus away from their shame, which they deeply fear. They have very low emotional intelligence. They don't know how to cope with life. Which is why there's no mutual understanding. Instead their strategy is just to belittle you. To dismiss you as something that is unimportant. They want to put all of the blame on you, so that they can avoid accountability. Because to them, accountability is a bad thing. It's not something that they want to deal with. The narcissist will argue with you. And while some people may choose to fight fire with fire. That is not something that I would advise. Do not reciprocate. Do not respond in kind. Do not take the bait. If there's one thing you can learn from their actions. It's that you shouldn't want to be anything like them. You shouldn't want to join their lack of responsibility. You shouldn't want to join their dysfunction. By doing what they do. Let them do that. Let them break the rules. Let them run themselves through the mud. While you take a different path.

By taking accountability. Which will lead you to a more functional way of life. Accountability is the key to success. It's easy to blame other people and take revenge, but that's not going to benefit you in any way. It's just going to make you more like them. You're just going to be acting out of the fear and shame that they have projected on to you. Which is not going to result in anything good. As Albert Einstein once said "You can never solve a problem on the level on which it was created". You have to take the higher road. You have to upgrade your level of thinking and your level of consciousness. And you can do that by taking your focus off of the narcissist. Take accountability for where you find yourself. And then take a different path. Go in the opposite direction. Because you will never find peace or joy in the direction that they're going in. That level of thinking and processing will never result in anything good. It will only make them more miserable and dissatisfied with life in the end.

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