Why Did The Narcissist Discard You?

You did what the narcissist wanted you to do. You were helping or supporting them. And yet they still chose to sabotage everything that you were trying to sustain with them. You have to understand that narcissists do not operate logically. When they first met you, they were able to suppress their aggression. They were able to refrain from expressing those emotions. When they first met you, you were in the idealization phase with them. In their minds, you were perfect. In this phase of the relationship, they will avoid doing anything that might create a risk or danger of loss, harm or failure. They have to protect and care for it like a prized possession. At some point, the narcissist will begin to notice faults or mistakes, flaws or imperfections. This is a projection of their own insecurities, which they are projecting on to you. They cannot acknowledge it within themselves, because they have to see themselves as being perfect. This is to deny how they really feel about themselves.

By projecting these insecurities on to you, it takes the focus off them, it's a distraction. It makes them feel superior to you. It is also a coping mechanism for the pathological envy and jealousy they feel towards you. They have to treat you as though you are worthless or beneath their consideration. They have to find as many faults, mistakes, flaws and imperfections as they can, to support the belief that they are superior to you. Not only that, but they are studying all of this and how you react to their put downs or backhanded compliments, so they can plot your destruction. At some point, they will want to destroy you. They will want to destroy the thing that they are envious of. They once saw you as this amazing, perfect person. That's why they targeted you. They targeted you because you were a person of high value. You had something which they wanted, and they hoped that by being around you it would rub off on them. But all of these qualities, talents and traits which you possessed began to interact with the narcissist, as they realized that they could never be theirs. They could never partake or get the same fulfillment from your qualities, talents and traits. Because it interacted with who they were. It made them feel threatened, it made them feel inferior. It made them feel like less of a person. And every time that they have to witness your greatness, it's killing them inside. They already have low self-worth and low self-esteem. Just the thought of you is enough to trigger them and make them feel like they are less of a person. Or as though they are not good enough. This is what makes them no longer care about preventing any risk or danger of loss, harm or failure to you or the relationship. It makes them want to destroy you. It makes them want to destroy or take away whatever it is you like or anything good in your life. That's why they will then sabotage the relationship in an attempt to hurt you. In an attempt to destroy the thing that they are envious of. The person who they believe is triggering them to reflect on their insecurities or feeling of not being good enough. And they know that they are not meant to be loved, they know that they are not meant to be trusted.

All the things that they have done to you, even at the beginning of the relationship. They manipulated you into being with them. They created a false character to mirror you or appeal to your own ideals. They future faked and made false promises. Likewise, they knew that they were not worthy or deserving of having a relationship with you. They knew that it was only a matter of time until you figured them out. They also begin to hate and resent you for the being the very thing that they were pretending to be. All the qualities you possessed, which they tried to imitate. They knew that what they were doing was never real. They knew it was only an act, an imitation. And every time that you were around them, and they had to witness your qualities, it triggered them to reflect on how what they're doing is not real or genuine. Every time that you are around them, it reminds them. So in their minds it's like "If I can't have these qualities, I'm going to destroy you, so none of us will have them". At some point, the narcissist has to hate you. There is no way around that. It is in the nature of their programming. If they didn't hate you, it would turn against them. It would cause them to reflect on themselves and their own deficiencies or insecurities. Narcissism is designed to block or deny any reflection on the self and instead project these deficiencies or insecurities outwards, usually on whomever they perceive to be superior to them. It is a coping mechanism and a defense mechanism, and an adaptation to what they perceive to be a threat to their self-esteem or self-importance. If they didn't hate you, everything that they are trying to project on to you, would instead be reflected inwards. That's just too painful for a narcissist to deal with. So instead they will create reasons to hate you or to turn you from a good person into something bad. Then it gives them the ability to punish you to display to them everything that they are not, everything that they wish they were. It gives them the ability to express their frustration and resentment towards you.

Their feelings of self-hatred, which will then be taken out on you. They have to do this. They cannot sustain themselves in a healthy, functional environment or relationship. Furthermore, they have to turn a good person into a bad person. Or they have to at least change their perception of them into something negative. There is no way to prevent this from happening. It is the nature of their disorder.

It keeps their programming running efficiently. If they went against their programming, it would turn against them. It would cause them to turn on themselves and self-destruct. It's either you or them. And the nature of their disorder is to help them cope, it's designed to protect or defend them. So they have to turn against you, there's no other way. And they have to see it in a way that they are protecting themselves from someone who is not good enough for them.