When the situation has changed to the opposite of what it was. Because you now have power. You're now in control. And the narcissist is forced to experience the same bad things that they caused you to experience. It looked like you were down and out. It looked like it was all over for you. But then something happened and now you're in the dominant position. And they're getting what they deserve. Which is actually what tends to happen once the relationship is over. It's just that many victims fall for the illusion. They fall for what the narcissist is displaying to them. They think they're riding off into the sunset. They're living their best life. But it's not real. Just remember what you went through with the narcissist. Remember how they treated you. They gaslighted you. They put you down. They invalidated you. They abused you financially.
So how could they ever move on and be happy? They may lack empathy. They may not have any concerns for you. But they know what they've done wrong. They're shame-based people. And that shame is constantly eating away at them. It's the reason why they're always miserable. But they're constantly trying to avoid reflecting on their shame. By engaging in escapism. By seeking distraction and relief from their unpleasant reality. By seeking entertainment. And that is what you're seeing when the relationship is over. You're just witnessing their distraction. Their form of self-medication. It's like they're wearing a virtual reality headset. Meanwhile, their life is falling apart. And it never goes away, because they refuse to take accountability. They refuse to confront reality. So they're not really living their best life. They're not really happy. It's an illusion. And that is why they're so bothered by your happiness and success. Because theirs isn't real.
If a person is truly happy with themselves and their lives, they're going to be happy for you. They're not going to be envious or jealous of you. Because their cup is full. They've already got what they want. But narcissists have insatiable desires that can never be fulfilled. They can never be satisfied. They're never grateful for anything they have. And I'm sure you will remember that when they were with you. Nothing you did was ever enough. And they would love for you to believe that's suddenly changed after they've left you. But they're still the same. And they're always going to be that way. Which is why they're so sensitive to your happiness and success. Which is why they're so envious and jealous.
They can't stand to see you doing well in life. Which is why when the tables turn, they will be plotting to bring you down. Because they feel threatened by your success. It brings them back to reality. It causes their reality to not make any sense. Because you're the real deal. You're genuine. You're a good example of everything they strive to be. You have all of the qualities that they want. But they cannot appreciate or respect it. Because they want it all for themselves. They don't want to admire that in someone else. It doesn't bring them positivity. It reflects something negative back to them. Because they're not you. They don't have what you have. They're like kids playing in the sandbox. Promoting their creativity and imagination. And pretending to be something great. But when they see you, it's a reality check.
They're reminded of their true state of things in the real world. It causes them to consider the facts about their situation and not their opinions, ideas or beliefs. It makes them recognise the truth about their situation. It clarifies and serves as a reminder of their reality, by correcting their misconceptions. It brings them back into the life of those around them. It smashes their hopes and dreams. And that is a very uncomfortable experience for the narcissist. It makes them feel irrelevant and inadequate. And they will be utterly ruthless and determined to break anyone who threatens their false reality. They will play the victim. They will make people feel sympathy for them. To enmesh themselves into every aspect of your life. Even though you may have helped them. You may have improved their lives. They will still break you down and not feel any regret.
When you turn the tables on the narcissist, to gain access into your life, they may lovebomb you. Or they will play the victim. They will talk about you to other people behind your back. They will turn your family and friends against you. They will start a smear campaign. So that they can position themselves in your life. And learn more information about you. And when they finally break you down, it makes them feel better about themselves. It makes them feel powerful. They want to turn everyone against you. Because they see you as a threat. Once you've moved on and become successful, it's not enough for them to betray you. It's not enough for them to abandon you.
They will always be looking for ways to hurt you. And they will want to turn everyone in your environment against you. Which is why they will be gossiping about you. They will be talking about you behind your back. To affect your social circle and work life. Because they can't stand that you turned the tables on them. You became more successful than them. You became more liked. So they will do whatever it takes to break you down. Because they fear that your success may expose them. They will cheat, lie and steal. They will act dishonestly. Because they can't stand your success. They hate your happiness and independence. Which is why they will try to take it away from you. They will try to destroy it.
You know what I find even more impressive than a person who is successful and is happy when good things happen to other people? It's when a person's life is in shambles and they are hurting and unsure and maybe even living life day by day. And, when they hear something great happens to someone they know, they are so happy for them that they jump up and down and they truly share in that person's joy. It's easy to be happy for someone else when they get a new job or raise or a new home when you already have your home and your great job and your health. It's when those rare people who may even be very…