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When You Stop Caring, The Narcissist Does This

When you stop displaying concern or interest for the narcissist. When you stop attaching importance to them. When you stop doing what they want. This is what they will do. Narcissistic relationships follow a cycle. It begins with lovebombing. Which is followed by devaluation, discard and hoovering. The narcissist is in control. They decide what happens. And they decide when it happens. They control you. They attract you. They entice you. But once they've got you, they lose interest in you. They devalue you. They see you as worthless and beneath their consideration. They show contempt for you as soon as they have you. Because all they care about is the pursuit. Once they know you're not going anywhere, they will threaten to leave you. But many times, before the narcissist gets the chance to discard their victim... The victim stops caring. They lose interest in the narcissist. Because they realise the narcissist is never going to change.



But when you stop caring, the narcissist gets very angry. Because at that point, they have lost control of the narrative. Which means they have lost control of you. And when they lose control of you, they lose any conveniences that you provided to them. They lose your validation. They lose power. When you stop caring, the narcissist will rage. They will ridicule you. They will subject you to dismissive language. Or they will show a lack of interest and concern for you. Because at that point, they feel abandoned. They feel rejected. Because they fear that you will leave. They will start arguing with you about minor issues. Things that are insignificant. Because you're rejecting them. It causes them to feel anxious and uneasy. But they don't want people to see them as weak. So they might pretend like it doesn't bother them. They won't be sad or upset. Instead, they will just be very angry at you. Because you've activated these feelings of shame by rejecting them. Narcissists are normally very controlling. They're used to having power over you. But when they see that you no longer care, they will feel threatened. And they will become very fragile. Because they assume that you're going to leave. And at that point, there's nothing you can tell them. You can try being nice to the narcissist, but it's just going to make them even more mad. They will treat you like you're nothing. Because that's exactly how they feel. When you stop caring, they feel completely worthless. Because the entire time, they based their significance and importance off of your level of care.



If you cared, they felt important. But when you stop caring, you reveal just how broken and fragile they really are. You reveal just how dependent on you they are. They may be so afraid that you're going to abandon them, that they will abandon you first. Because they want to be ten steps ahead of the very thing they fear most. So that they can have control over their fear. But even when they abandon you, they may later try to hoover you. They may try to pull you back into the relationship. But it's not because they care about you. They just fear the loss of their supply. They fear losing validation. They fear losing control. And they just don't like the idea of being rejected. It activates their shame. It brings them back to reality. And it makes them feel like they're not worth anything.


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