This could be while you are still in the relationship. Or it could be towards the end. But at some point, they begin to see your strength. Because everything they do only ends up making us stronger. It makes us more able to withstand force and pressure. Which ends up reversing the roles. Until you end up affecting them more than they're affecting you. So now they see you as strong. But they already saw you as strong in the beginning. Which is why they got involved with you. Narcissists are very insecure. And they need someone who they can depend on as a source of security and stability. So they actually admired a lot of these strong qualities that you had. But because of their insecurities, they were also afraid. Which is why they wanted to devalue and control these qualities. It's why they had to put you down. Because then it made them feel powerful. They get off on turning something good into something bad. Or on turning something powerful into something weak and ineffective. But you had to have some level of power and strength in the beginning for them to be able to do that.
Which is why they attached themselves to you. They attached themselves to you because you had value. But they diminished that value over time. And it felt comfortable for them. Because you were under their control. You were in a state of confusion and uncertainty. You didn't understand what was going on. But when you begin to find your strength again, they don't like it. Because they're weak. So it makes them feel insecure. Which is why they will try to re-establish their control over you. By throwing temper tantrums. Or making excessive demands. Because they want things to stay the same. And at that point, you may give in to them. Because you don't want to cause a scene .You don't want to make things worse. And that is how they always get their way. That is how they never feel the need to change. Because they know that if they have a tantrum, eventually people will give in to their demands. So they feel no need to change anything. There's no incentive for them to work. Because everything is already laid out for them. They're already getting what they want. Without them having to lift a finger. But if you become strong. And you start standing up to them. They will begin to see you as a threat. They will fear that you are going to abandon them. Because they will sense that their control is slipping away. So then they will try to regain their control over you. By threatening to leave you. Or by accusing you of lying or cheating.
So that they can establish a position of power and authority over you. When really, they just fear that you're becoming too strong. So they have to cause you to recognise their authority or rights, by engaging in excessively confident and forceful behaviour. To show you that they are stronger. To show you that they have power over you. And by this point, it will only get worse. Because you teach people how to treat you. So now the only thing you can do is walk away. Because if you stay, they're never going to respect you. They're going to think that they can do whatever they want. They're going to think that it's ok. When you become stronger, it will only get worse. They will accuse you of things. They will gaslight you. They will do anything they can to weaken you. To get you back under their control again. And when they start doing those things, you need to recognise that it's time for you to walk away. Because they're not going to change. When the narcissist sees your strength, it causes them to feel fear. Because they're very insecure. And they may also envy your strength. If you refuse to give in to their demands, they will feel like they're not in control. They will feel like they don't have any authority. And if you manage to outshine them, they will feel humiliated. It will bruise their ego. And they will feel unimportant. So they will try to regain their relevance by accusing you of something or by gaslighting you. They will make it out like there's something wrong with what you're doing. Because they feel inferior to you.
But if that doesn't work, they will try something more covert and indirect. They will try to manage other people's impressions and opinions of you. They will try to discredit you in every possible way. They will make up lies. And they won't feel bad about doing that. They may even pretend like everything is fine. While they're secretly saying things about you behind your back. Because they want you to feel less important and proud. So they will try to find your weaknesses and failures. They will try to find something that you're missing. And then they will zone in on it. They will blow it out of proportion. As though it's the only thing that matters. They will bring up things from the past, as though it's still relevant today. No matter how much you've matured and changed. And they will use it as an excuse for anything they do to you. They will attack your weaknesses to make you question your own abilities and value. To make you feel inadequate. When the reality is that they're only doing it because they feel inadequate. And that is why they're so cruel. That is why they're deliberately trying to hurt you. Because they're very weak and afraid. Which is why you need to avoid them at all costs. Because they will only drag you down and make your life difficult. You need to go no contact. You need to focus all of your time and attention on your healing and recovery. So that you can find your power and rebuild your confidence in yourself again.