The narcissist treated you like a toy. They didn't see you as a separate person with their own wants and needs. They saw you as an object. As something that existed to serve them. And they prepared and trained you for that purpose. They toyed with your emotions. They encouraged your feelings and made unfair use of them, in order to give themselves an advantage. They manipulated your expectations, hopes and intentions to their selfish benefit. Because they're self absorbed and they lack empathy. They only care about themselves. They don't care about how their behaviour affects you. It was like a game of cat and mouse. It involved constant pursuit, near captures and repeated escapes. They hunted you down or they lured you into a trap. They tricked you into making a mistake so that they had an advantage over you. They confused and deceived you in order to defeat you. They behaved as though they were sexually attracted to you. But playfully, rather than with serious intentions.
They engaged in playful behaviour intended to arouse your sexual interest. They considered you casually, without making any decisions about you. Because they were never serious about you. They lacked careful consideration and application. They dealt with you in a half-hearted manner, rather than in a sincere and earnest way. They lied to you. They future faked. They used a detailed vision of the future to faciliate bonding and connection. They lied and promised something about your possible future in order to get what they wanted in the present. You thought you were building something with them. Because of the way they behaved with you. But it was nothing more than recreational use. It was a form of entertainment. They used you for their own amusement and enjoyment. They lured you in and then they strung you along. They misled you deliberately over a length of time about their intentions. They stayed and accompanied you casually or as long as it was convenient. They let you believe they were in love with you or attracted to you. They let you believe you had the same desires, beliefs and hopes. They let you continue believing something false. They dragged it out while having dishonest intentions. While pretending that they intended to help you. But in the end, you were left with nothing but the false ideas and beliefs that they had implanted in your mind. You were left longing and yearning for something that never existed. Something that was never going to come into fruition. Because they never even took the steps to make it a reality. This is just what narcissists do. They manipulate you. They lure you in and then they lead you on. They deliberately cause you to believe something that is not true, for their own personal gain. They give you a mistaken impression. They hide and distort the truth. They trick you by dishonest behaviour. Because they know that if they showed you who they really are, they would never get what they want. They gave you a false character that they were not attached to. And that is how it was so easy for them to pull away once you had served your purpose. And your purpose was to validate the illusions of their false self. To feed their ego. To make them feel special and important, desirable and attractive. To provide them with benefits and conveniences. Money or a place to stay. You served no other purpose other than that. They lied to you. They made you believe it was something else or something more. Because they know that if they revealed their true intentions to you, they would never get what they want. And that is why they have to lie, trick, cheat and deceive.
They saw you as someone who is foolish and naive. Someone who showed a lack of experience, wisdom and judgement. And they took advantage of that. They exploited you for their own benefit. They used and abused you. But at some point, you started to catch on. You realised that they were making a fool out of you. You realised that they were playing you. But by that time, they had already got what they wanted. They robbed you of your qualities and virtues. They stripped you of your dignity and respect. And then they vanished like a thief in the night. And you were left broken and confused. You were left unable to make sense of the situation. Because you couldn't understand why someone would do all of that for nothing. You couldn't understand why someone would act dishonestly. To build something that isn't even real. Something that holds no significant meaning or value. But this is just what narcissists do. They don't value relationships or connection. That means nothing to them. They just want you to attach to them. Because then they can feel like they matter. They can feel like they're something significant to someone. And that's all they really want. They don't care about connecting to you. Because that doesn't do anything for them. It's just a means to an end. It's something they pretend to do in order to achieve something else. It was a shared fantasy. A fantasy world for them to justify their torture of you. In which they fed you a broad range of mental experiences. Which were mediated by the faculty of imagination in your brain. It had no basis in reality. Which is why by the end of it, you were left in a state of confusion. You felt like you had lost your mind. Like you never even knew them. Like this character never even existed. Because they didn't exist. It was all a facade. And realising this is the first step to freeing yourself from their captivation. Because while they may have seemed extremely interesting, exciting, pleasant and attractive. But they were just playing a role. They were just mimicking something they saw in movies or on television. In order to entertain or ridicule you. It's not something they were actually about. It was fake. They robbed you of your time, love and energy. They tricked you. When the narcissist regrets toying with you. When they regret considering you casually and indecisively. The only way they're going to regret toying with you is if they feel like they're missing out on something. If they feel like they failed to use an opportunity to enjoy or get an advantage from something. If they feel like they're missing out on something that would've been useful to them. That's the only way that they're going to feel regret. It's the only way they're going to experience disappointment. But they're not going to be sorry about what they did to you. They're not going to feel any remorse. Because they don't care about how they treat people. They lack empathy.
They lack the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. But they do recognise your feelings. That's what gives them supply. And they're actually very envious and jealous when they see that other people are able to experience emotions that they don't experience. Such as love, happiness and joy. So if you really want to make the narcissist regret toying with you, find someone else. Find someone who is about that for real. Someone who really desires the same things as you do. Someone who values love and connection. Because as ironic as it may sound. The last thing a narcissist wants to see is someone giving you everything they promised they would give to you. That is the narcissist's worst nightmare.
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