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Writer's pictureNarc Survivor

When The Narcissist Loses You


Narcissists always put themselves in positions where they are destined to fail. They neglect to do something. They make a mistake. They have an instance of poor performance, which results in a loss. It results in them being unsuccessful in achieving their goal. Because they have these insatible desires. They have desires that are unrealistic and impossible to satisfy. They try to achieve or obtain things that are impractical. Things that are impossible to do. Which sets them up to be disappointed. It sets them up to experience sadness and displeasure. Because it can't fulfil their hopes or expectations. Which makes them very angry. They become very bitter and resentful. They experience depression. But it's always a result of their own bad decisions. Rather than it being the effect of another person. Because they're always observing what other people are doing. And they get very envious. They painfully desire other people's advantages. They want what they have. Because they see other people making progress in their lives.



They see that they're getting attention. Which then makes the narcissist very angry. So they will try to bring you down. They will try to sabotage whatever you're doing. They end up in another situation, which isn't what they imagined as a future possibility. Which results in more disappointment. But when they lose you, they're not really heartbroken. You may be heartbroken, because you invested a lot into the narcissist. But they didn't invest anything in you. They only got involved with you for their own personal gain. They manipulated you. They deceived you. So they're only angry when things don't go their away. That's what makes them disappointed. But it's not because they care about you. It's not because they're heartbroken. They're just angry and disappointed because their plan failed. They thought they were on to something. But it gradually became less noticeable and less important. It didn't provide them with the enjoyment and excitement that they expected it to. Which then results in them being very angry and disappointed. But it's not because they love you. They see love as a weakness. They see it as something pointless and foolish. But they feel entitled to have whatever they want. So they expect everything to go their way. They expect you to give them whatever they want. But when they lose you, it messes up their plan. Because they weren't finished with you. There was still more that they wanted to get from you. But it's not that they miss you. They never connected with you. They're just frustrated that they no longer get the benefits that you provided to them. It's not love. Because they were never emotionally invested in you. Narcissists don't invest their emotions into anyone. Which is why they don't experience love. Because they're only concerned with their own self interests. They're only concerned with what you can give to them. And when you stop giving everything to them, they get angry and frustrated. Because they've lost their source of supply. They never loved you. They were just participating in activites for their own pleasure, as an observer. Not as someone who was actively participating. They may have claimed that they were in your corner. They may have acted like they were on your side. They may have given you support and encouragement. But they were only there for their own self interests. They were only there for what they could gain from you. Which is why when you finally cut off their supply, they just find another source. They just find someone else who can provide the same things you did. Because they never really cared about you. They were never invested in you emotionally. So there is no emotional loss. There's no grief. Which is how it's so easy for them to find someone new. Even though the new person may not be able to do anything like what you did for them. They just like the high they get from getting to know a new person. They respond too readily to something new and stimulating. They are easily excited. Because it gives them a revival of interest and attention. It gives them an opportunity to create a new character. They may have had fun while they were with you. And you may have done certain things for them. But as long as they have someone doing something for them. No matter the amount. Even if it's not as great as what you were doing for them. They're still receiving something. They're still getting attention. It may not be as great as what you were doing. But as long as they have something, they still feel relevant. They get so absorbed in whatever situation they're in, that they completely forget about you. Because they're so focused on learning how to manipulate and deceive this new person. They're so focused on creating this new character that this new person might want to see. Which consumes a lot of their energy and attention. Because they want to be successful in deceiving the new supply. They're so focused on learning about what they like to do. So that they can break them down. They just see it as an activity in which they compete against people for entertainment. They just see it as a game. And they might lose with you.



But they will win with someone else. Or they might lose again and again. Either way, they're always focused on the next person. There may be times when they remember you. But only if they know without any uncertainty, that they can come back to you. At the same level that they were at before the relationship ended. But if they don't feel like they can have the same amount of power to influence you. Or the same position that they had with you. There's no reason for them to come back to you. There's no reason for them to think about you. Because now they can't get what they want from you, in the way that they had it before. Which is why they will just move on and forget about you. They will only return if they believe you're still susceptible to their manipulation. If they think you still believe in their false self. Then they will return to you. And they may even say that they miss you. But it's just manipulation. There's no real emotion. Because they're acting in a scheming way and a ruthlessly determined way. Where they're already thinking that you want them to come back. Where you wish they could be the kind of person that you wanted them to be when they were with you. So then they assume that if they come back to you. And they act like whatever kind of person you wanted them to be. You will take them back without question. Because they already assume that you can't do any better than them. They assume that you don't have any other options. It's only when you resist them, that they finally learn to respect you. They may not respect you as a person. But they respect your power. They respect your ability to hold your ground. And then they stay away. Which is why narcissists will often target you when you're at a weak point in your life. When you're feeling lonely. When you're feeling depressed. When something has gone wrong in your life. They see a void. They see that something is missing. Which they see as a weakness. They act like they're strong and confident. But they always go for your achilles heel. They always attack whatever they think is your weakest or most vulnerable point. They may act like they're there for you. But deep down they're cowards. They lack the courage to endure anything unpleasant. Because they're very afraid. They don't really want conflict. They don't want a problem. They will run their mouths. They will try to intimidate you. But they don't want a fight. But most victims will avoid arguing with the narcissist. They will always do whatever they believe to be the right thing to do. Even when the narcissist is being childish. Because they want to avoid being distracted by the narcissist's pettiness and bad behaviour. But that's what results in the narcissist walking all over you. Which is why you have to show them that you're not going to tolerate it. If the narcissist knows that you're not going to put up with their behaviour, they're not going to mess with you anymore. Because they don't want a fight. They want an easy picking. They want you to be easily convinced and swayed. Narcissists are like internet trolls. They're like attention whores who post stupid comments online. In an attempt to get negative reactions out of people. Because then there's no fast approaching danger or threat. They do everything they can to avoid danger. Because they don't want a fight. They wouldn't know what to do if that ever happened to them. They would probably call you the narcissist for trying to defend yourself. Because they're bullies. They seek to harm, intimidate and coerce those who they perceive as being vulnerable. Because narcissists are very weak. They're cowards. They're very afraid. So there's no way that they could have ever loved you. For them to love you, they would have to show strength in the face of pain or grief. They would have to have courage. Because then if the person you love is in danger, you will put your own life on the line for them. Because you love them. But narcissists are cowards. So they won't do anything. They will talk. They will say they're ready to protect or defend you. They're there for you no matter what. But when a situation suddenly causes a lot of trouble for you.



You will realise they're not. Because the thought of them being involved in it and taking a loss causes them to not want any parts of it. But someone who really loves you and who is really there for you, will take that defeat with you. They won't let you take that fall on your own. They may try to help you win. But if you don't, you will take that loss together. Either way, they still did their part to try to help you. It's important to know who will really be there for you to emphasise your opposition to a person or a situation. The narcissist will never be down for you. They're not built like that. They will do all of the talking. They will say that they are there for you. They will say they did this and that. But when it comes down to it, they don't. You can see it in their eyes, that they don't have the heart to be there for you. If they really cared about you, they would have completed what was planned, in spite of difficulties. So even though the narcissist may have lost you, they're not going to be heartbroken. Because they were never in your corner. They were never in with you to begin with.

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