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When The Narcissist Knows You're Wise To Their Games

When they know you're on to them. When they know you're beginning to figure them out. When the narcissist knows you're wise to their games, they will lovebomb you again. Because it worked for them in the beginning. That's how they lured you into their web. So they will future fake. They will give you false promises. To remind you of the false character. They will act kind and helpful. Until you start to question yourself. Until you start to think that maybe you got it wrong. It creates cognitive dissonance. Where you have two conflicting beliefs about them. They use intermittent reinforcement to train you to seek reward from them. Rather than punishment. So even when they're treating you badly, you will still try to do more. You will run endlessly on this hamster wheel trying to please them. Which is exactly what they want. But when they feel like you're starting to figure them out, they will lovebomb you again. You may think that maybe they're not so bad afterall.

You may continue to stay with them. Because sometimes it's good. Sometimes they do nice things for you. Which is how you end up staying with them for such a long time. And losing so much of yourself and your life. They are master manipulators. They're often very charming and charismatic. So they know how to lure you in. And they know how to keep you under their control. When the narcissist knows you're wise to their games. They will triangulate you with other people. They will enforce their flying monkeys. And they will start a smear campaign. Which is very easy for them to do. Because they always have to be close with other people. They always have to be involved. They will do nice things for random strangers, before they do anything for you. So they've always got people under their spell. They've always got people wrapped around their thumb. Which means that they've always got people that they can turn against you. Because people think they're so wonderful. So they can turn around and say that you're the only one who thinks there's a problem. As though no one else will believe you. So you may feel like you're on your own. You may feel alone and isolated. Which is exactly what they want. Because if there's going to be a discard, they don't want you to have any support. They don't want you to feel like you have anyone on your side. And most often, when people go through this, they don't have anyone on their side. The narcissist's flying monkeys will turn against you. They will do the narcissist's bidding. Because the narcissist has already told them all of these things about you. They've lied to them. They've spread rumours. They've told them that they were just trying to help you. They've played the victim. They've made false accusations against you. They will often say that you were doing things that they were doing to you. So now, despite everything they've done to you, you're the one who looks bad. Which makes it easier for them to turn people against you. Because people may think that they're helping them. They may believe that they're doing the right thing. Narcissists like to target your friends and family and turn them into their flying monkeys. Because they know that you love and trust them. And it makes the narcissist feel powerful when they are able to do that. It tells them that they are better than you. That they are more intelligent. They don't look at themselves to see that what they're doing is wrong. They just think that if you were so smart, why couldn't you stop it from happening? They blame you for everything. Even the things that they're doing to you. When you may not have done anything wrong. And those people just don't know the full story. They're just being fed this narrative by the narcissist. But you shouldn't waste your time trying to convince them.

You shouldn't waste your time trying to get them on your side. Because that rarely works. You will just spend more time worrying about it. So instead, what you can do is set strong boundaries. Don't give the narcissist any supply. And accept that you can't fight all of the flying monkeys. You can't convince them. You can only be yourself. You can only live in your truth. You can only be the best that you can be. So let them think what they want to think. And just hope that in time the truth will reveal itself. But you have to accept that for now, people aren't going to see you how you want to be seen. Or how you actually are. And that's just how it has to be sometimes. The best thing you can do now is distance yourself from those people. Because they're not going to help you. And avoid engaging with the narcissist. Because they may try to lovebomb you once they know that you're on to them. Just remember that they don't have your best interest in mind. They just want to gain control of you again. But in time, they will get bored. And things will get better. They only hang around for long periods of time if they're still getting supply. Once you cut off their supply, they're not going to waste their time.

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2 commentaires

28 janv. 2023

It's true what you said about how they will do things for random strangers before they will do something for you. I used to have to buy my own birthday present and I would buy myself something for mother's Day when the kids were little. I should have known that he didn't respect me at all. Sometimes, love truly is blind. Just like they are doing and saying things to make you perceive the situation in a good light, if you are a good-hearted person then, you might try to lie to yourself to see it in a good light as well. I always used to say to him, I would rather have a teaspoon of the truth rather tha…


NS, Narc 1 & 2 lied to my older siblings that I moved in with back in late 2018 after my divorce was finalized.

Narc 1 (although he cheated, raped and abused me) told them that I’m just too young and rebellious…that he only gave me the divorce to teach me a lesson. He convinced them to try to persuade me to go back to him like all the times b4. In the beginning both of them acted like they were supporting me when I wanted to start over. After a few months passed, my siblings realized that I was SERIOUS and sticking to my guns. They began picking fights with me, gaslighting me and being emotionally abuse. One sister…

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