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When The Narcissist Knows It's ALL OVER

You've had enough. You don't want to deal with them anymore. You've put down boundaries. Because you realise there's a problem. And you know they're not going to change. So you stop talking to them. You cut them off. And they may try to get back in. But you're not giving them a chance. You're not giving them the opportunity to return to you. And when you do that, they know it's all over. When the narcissist knows it's all over, they will try to regain your attention. They will expecting you to still be in the same position. Where you haven't moved on. Where you're still thinking about them. But when they discover that you have regained your power, it will cause a narcissistic injury. Because they want to be in control. They want to make decisions for you. They don't want you to be in control of yourself.

Which is why they will try to regain control of you again. But if you reject them, they will feel humiliated. They won't be able to deal with it. Because that means you have the power. It means that you have taken the iniative in deciding how something should be done. But they want to be in control. So that they can direct your behaviour and the course of events. So that they can decide what happens next. But when you're in control, you take away their sense of significance and importance. They're no longer relevant. And there's no need for you to give them any attention. Because they're not doing anything for you. So now they don't have any information. They don't know what you're next move is going to be. So now they're stuck. Because in their minds, you're meant to belong to them. In their minds, you're their possession. And that is why they will come back like nothing happened. Because they don't want to take responsibility for their actions. And they will expect you to be waiting for them with warmth and hospitality. As though you're happy to see them and eager to accept them. After everything they did to you. After all of the problems they've caused. Because to them, none of that matters. All that matters to them is that they can come back and that you're going to be there for them. And you're going to be so happy to see them. But in reality, it doesn't work out like that. People can't just forgive and forget. But this is something that you will experience with a narcissist. Because they don't understand when people feel abandoned, discounted, disrespected, humiliated, impatient, jealous or rejected. They don't pick up on that. Or they just don't care. Because they have an undeveloped mind. They were traumatised in childhood. So now they can't understand other people's emotions. Which is why they behave in this way. When the narcissist knows it's all over, like with anything else, they don't want to deal with it. They don't know how to deal with it. They may still be thinking that they can come back again. They may think that they can have the position that they had with you before. Where they act nice in the beginning and then they gradually turn against you, until they're finally ready to get rid of you. And if they think that you're still foolishly willing to play that game, then they will come back to you. But if you have already healed and you know what they're about to do. Then they're not going to do that. They will come back if they think you're still a fool. If they think you're still willing to be their doormat. If they think they can still walk all over you. But if they know they can't do that anymore, they will watch you instead.

They will stalk you on social media. They will contact your family or friends. Because they can't just let you get away. They can't just let you live your life without them. Because in their minds, you still belong to them. When you no longer want to deal with them, they will stalk you for weeks, months or even years after you have separated. Because they want to know how you are doing without them. And if they see that you're miserable and depressed, they will be happy with that. Because they don't want you to move on. But they can't see that they were the cause of the problem. Because they have an inability to understand. Or some of them just don't care. They can't or won't put themselves in their shoes. Because they lack empathy. Which is why the relationship was destined to fail. Because a relationship is a two-way street. It's give and take. So this is what happens, when they know it's all over. When they know that you're done. They hate it. So they will try to win you over. They will try to get you back. But it's not because they care about you. It's not because they've changed. They just want to get your attention and validation. They only come back to get something from you. Because narcissists see relationships as transactional. It's all about what you can do for them. And that is never going to change.

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In my personal experience, I’ve dealt with the stalking and them keeping an eye on me etc. Yes, I’ve woken up and don’t fall for the Hoover traps like b4. I even cut off ppl I suspect are connected to them or any of their family members. I’ll take a lower paying job, go the longer route and eat dinner ALONE b4 I’ll ever them back in! Great post NS.

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