Narcissists are very, sick twisted people. They do some horrific things to their victims. They will abuse you for years and never get tired of it. Because it fuels them. It regulates their emotions. It distracts them from their own miserable lives. They will say horrible things about you. They will physically abuse you. They will sexually abuse you. They will deliberately try to drive you insane. They will minimise your accomplishments. They will sabotage your success. And if despite all of the abuse, you're still able to function like a normal person. They will smear your name. They will change other people's perceptions of you. But when they do that, it should reveal to you that you are very strong. The smear campaign is their last resort. It is their last attempt at keeping you under their control. They would rather contain you with the abuse. It's much easier for them to do that. But if the abuse isn't strong enough to overpower you, they're left with no choice. If they can't turn you against yourself, they will turn the world against you.
So that despite all of the abuse you had endured, you are still being punished. Because now you can't live a normal life. But unknowingly to the narcissist, they've actually handed you the keys to what makes them tick. They've revealed to you everything that is important to them. Everything that they are envious and jealous of. Which is the very thing which will help you to defeat them. Narcissists are only concerned with superficial things. So if you want to defeat the narcissist, you need to work on yourself. Go to the gym and become physically healthy. Eat better foods. Drink more water. Start your own business and make lots of money. Buy a big house. Buy a luxury car. Date a model. It may sound shallow and empty to you, but these are the types of things that narcissists value. That's what's important to the narcissist. They respect money and power. They respect expensive things. They respect powerful and attractive people. And you can defeat the narcissist with the very things they value and respect so much. By achieving those things and then preventing them from gaining access to them. Because when it all comes down to it, that's really one of the narcissist's greatest fears, after everything they've done to you. They fear that one day you might achieve everything you've always wanted. And everything they've always wanted. But after everything they've done to you, you're not going to want to share it with them. You're not going to cut them a piece of the pie. Because deep down they know they're not deserving. They know they don't deserve to be a part of your life. That's why they had to keep you down and make you feel like they were better than you. Because they already knew that you had the qualities and abilities to achieve great things. And that was the last thing they wanted to see. One of the narcissist's greatest fears is your potential. Your capacity to develop something in the future. Because you're development equates to the narcissist's irrelevance. Once you become successful and you achieve great things, they're no longer relevant. Because they were never there you. They didn't support you. They didn't invest anything into you. So why should they deserve to partake in the fruits of your labour? And they know this. Which is why the moment they see you progressing in life, they know it's all over for them. They know they can't come back. At that point, you have defeated the narcissist. Not only because they value superficial things, but because of the emotional effects it has on you. Success has an emotional effect on us. It makes us feel more confident. It makes us believe in ourselves. It boosts our self-worth and self-esteem. And that is the ultimate threat to a narcissist. That is what defeats them. Your self love is like kryptonite to a narcissist.
Which is why the entire time you were with them, they tried to keep you down. They tried to make you feel like you were unworthy. They tried to put out your light. Because they knew that light would eventually reflect on them. It would reveal who they are. But when you choose to move on with your life and you become stronger and more confident in yourself. They become irrelevant. They're no longer connected to you. As long as you have doubts, it gives them an opening to come back. Because then they can still have some level of control over your emotions. That's what forms that attachment. Because at that point, you're in agreeance with them that you're not enough. But when you're optimistic and self-assured, they can't do that. They lose. They're forced to accept defeat.
Excellent post. Many thanks, Chris! 💜