You shouldn't even be shocked when you see this. You shouldn't even be surprised. Because they have a mental disorder which is characterised by dysfunctionality. Where they are unable to sustain anything for a long period of time. Where they are unable to succeed. Some of you may say that they look happy. And it may look that way in the beginning. Because you're not seeing the bigger picture. Narcissists are unstable. They suffer from sudden and extreme changes of mental state. Which means that things could change at any moment. It may look like they're doing well. But that's only because they have someone who is building them up. They have someone who is taking care of them. Someone who is interested in keeping them around. Even though they're being taken advantage of. Even though they're being abused. Because enablers overlook things. They don't pay too much attention to it. Because maybe they have something to prove to people as well. Maybe they want to show people that they can have a successful relationship.
So they will take care of the narcissist. And that will be enough to keep them around, at least in the beginning. But if the narcissist is on their own without any support, they will fail everytime. Because it's the nature of the disorder. They can't consistently behave in a positive way. They can't consistently experience harmony, regularity or steady continuity. They can't work in a well-organised and competent way. Which is why they will never have anything that lasts for a long period of time. They will even do things to block their own success. They will do things to prevent them from reaching their goals. Because they don't want to be independent. They want to remain a child and never grow up. They want to remain youthful and immature. So that they can always have an excuse for not responding to the best of their ability. Because then they can remain in need. And they will always have someone there to feel sorry for them. Someone there to help them. Because otherwise they would have to be efficient and effective on their own. And they don't like to be alone. So they'd rather find someone who is willing to take care of them. Which is why if you see them doing better after they have left you. It's because they've managed to find someone to let them live comfortably. They might be with someone who lets them work and keep all of their money. They don't have to pay rent. They don't have to pay the bills. They don't have to pay for a car. They don't have to take on any responsibilities like a normal, responsible adult. They can still be a child. So they see it as though they can gain an advantage by being with this person. Because they have the upper hand. While the other person has the short end of the stick. So they will stick in with that type of situation. And it may look like they're doing better than when they were with you. Because when they were with you, they had to be accountable for everything. You expected them to pay their way. But now this new person is taking care of it. So they don't have to be accountable for anything. And all they really care about is having more for themselves. Taking care of themselves. So that they can do what they want for themselves. And if they're in a situation like that, why would they leave? But if you put them in a real life situation, they will quickly fall apart. They wouldn't be able to deal with it. They can't deal with stressful situations. Put them in anything like that and they will quickly run away from it. It may look like they have an easy life. And everything is going well for them. Maybe they're taking pictures with this new person. They're going out to restaurants. They're driving in a new car. But that isn't anything of substance. They're just putting on a show for this new person, who they have to please in that moment. Because narcissists do not change. They do not adapt or adjust to a person or situation. They will repeat the same mistakes again and again.
So you should already know how this movie ends. It may seem like they're doing well, but they're just being enabled by someone else. They haven't changed. They're doing the same things that they were doing with you. They just have someone who is willing to put up with more than you were willing to put up with. Because this new person has their own issues. Maybe they don't want to be alone. Maybe they don't have any other options. And once the narcissist is aware of that, they will take advantage of it. They'll go wild. They'll run carelessly and recklessly. They will play on your fears and insecurities. They will push your buttons. To make you agree with them. To make you obey their rules. Because you're afraid of losing them again. But whatever you're seeing from the outside with them isn't real. It's never what you think it is. Which is why when you see these things from the outside... You have to realise that whoever they're with doesn't know what they're getting themselves into. Whoever they have doesn't know that in time they're going to be regretting that situation. Because nothing good comes out of being with them. There is never a healthy association with a narcissist. But they will try to do better. Because they want to prove you wrong. Maybe you told them they will never find someone as good as you. So now they have to do whatever it takes to prove you wrong. They have to find someone and be good to them. They have to show high moral standards. To make them feel like they're something of value. Because you bruised their ego. But they're not going to let you see that. They don't want you to see how much you have affected them. So now they have to try very hard to attract someone else's attention. They have to make it very obvious that they want a relationship with them. While trying to avoid making the same mistakes that they made with you. But eventually, even that doesn't work out. Because they have so many issues. So in the end, they may just go and mess everything up on their own. To show bold defiance and disobedience to you. To show you that they don't care what you think. When by doing that, they're actually doing the opposite. Because they're still reacting to something you've said or done. But they're only doing it because they just don't want to be accountable. They don't want to be required or expected to justify their actions and decisions. They don't want to be responsible. They don't want to explain anything or make something understood. They want to remain a child. Because there's no incentive for them to be accountable. They don't see any benefit in doing that. They see it as though that's giving you the advantage. Because then they have to act accordingly.
Then they have to treat you with respect. When they have to benefit from people. They need people to help and assist them. People who want to uplift them. No matter how much they mess things up. Their enabler will still be there to support them. But it's not a good look. They're just taking an advantage of an opportunity, without planning or principle. Without thinking about the effects on other people. Because they see a chance to gain some advantage. But their enabler is blind to it. They don't see what the narcissist is doing. They're actually open to new suggestions and ideas from the narcissist. They don't see it how you see it. So now the narcissist doesn't have to work as hard to hide a lot of the things that they're doing. Because this new person doesn't even notice it. Or they don't see anything wrong with it. When you would have been on them like a ton of bricks. It doesn't even phase this new person. But it would phase someone normal. And that's how you should know, they haven't found the solution to their problems. They haven't found the answer. You've already seen the movie. You know how it's going to end.
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