When The Narcissist Comes Back Remember This
- Narc Survivor
- Nov 15, 2022
- 4 min read
The narcissist will come back when you least expect it. They will come back when you've started to heal. When you've found new friends. When you've become more successful. Because they can sense when you're starting to move on. And they may be stalking your social media. Or talking to your family or friends. And they will be expecting you to forget about everything they did. They will be expecting you to fall for their trap again. Because you fell for it before. You were their source of supply. You were their personal punching bag. You were their AirBnB. You were their ATM. Even while they were devaluing you. Even while they were putting you down.
It just made you want to please them even more. It made you want to win them over. It made you want to gain their approval. And they remember how they had you wrapped around their thumb. So they will hoover. They will message you on social media. They will create fake accounts. They will get other people to contact you. Because they're not thinking that you have healed. They don't believe that you can heal. They're not thinking that you've figured them out. But now you've been watching my videos. And you've become aware that they were not benefiting you in any way. You realise that all they did was take from you. But they will still try to hoover. They will try to get you back. And they will try to create a disturbance. They will try to disrupt you. Because they understand the effects that their presence has on you.

They know that their negative energy is going to contaminate you and bring you down. So they will send you messages or emails. Or they will call you on the phone. Because they know that it's going to affect you. They know it's going to slow you down. And they also do it to test you. To see where you are in the mind. To see if you're still emotionally invested in them. To see if you've really figured them out. And they may just toy with you. They may play cat and mouse. Or they will try to get you back. But that's only if they're low on supply. That's only if they've reidealised you. Otherwise they're just going to mess with you. They're just going to play games. Which is what they will do if you haven't moved on. If you're still thinking about them. If you haven't made any progress. But if you are doing well, they may reidealise you. And they will try to get you back.
Unless you set strong boundaries. Unless you block them on everything. Unless they can see that you're no longer susceptible to their manipulation. But some narcissists are so arrogant and audacious, that they will still try to hoover you. While other narcissists will be too full of ego and pride. Because they think they're better than you. They think they're smarter than you. They think they're more attractive. They think you need them more than they need you. But they're delusional. Because they're only coming back to get something from you. And when they were with you, all they ever did was take from you and abuse you. Sometimes the narcissist will disappear for years. And then they will come back when they see that you're doing well. Because they want to take it all for themselves.

So they will act humble. They will show a low estimate of their importance. They will play the victim. They will say that they need your help. As though you are the only person who can rescue them. They will tell you they love you. They will give you a fake apology. They will say that they want to help you. They want to work with you. Because they know that's what you wanted. They know that all you ever wanted was their cooperation. So they will give you the illusion of what you want. So that they can have access to you and get what they want from you. Because that's the only reason why they will come back. They're not going to come back to bring something to you. They're self absorbed and they lack empathy. They don't care about you. They just want to strengthen your attachment to them.
They want to make you dependent on them. And then they're going to abandon you again. Because all they really want you do is to validate the illusions of their false self. They want you to see them as all-powerful and all-knowing. As someone who can be there for you. As someone who can help you. As someone who can make you happy. But they're never going to follow it up with action. And as soon as you start to believe that they're everything they want you to think that they are, they will disappear. Because its run it's course. Mission completed. They've done all they needed to do. You've supported their false narrative. You've validated the illusion. And now they don't need you anymore. So remember this if they do come back. Because that's all they're looking for when they hoover you.
It's extremely difficult if not impossible for people to understand narcissists. We can try to put ourselves in their shoes but, there's nothing normal about them. Even if I try to think in abnormal ways, I still can't pretend I'm a narcissist. Thank you for this very important information. Christopher, it's like you're describing someone that doesn't have a heart. They don't have empathy. They cannot be sympathetic. And, if you succeed beyond their wildest dreams, they will want to take some of that from you. It saddens me that we are living in a time of self-absorption. Everyone can just turn on a video game and they aren't even in the world with you. Honestly, I cried on and…