You might think that the narcissist wants love and acceptance. You may think that they want to be loved unconditionally. As though no matter what they do wrong, they are still accepted. They are still tolerated. But that is what many narcissists have already achieved. Yet they leave that person for someone who doesn't value or respect them. Because despite what they may say, that's not really what they want. Narcissists don't really value meaningful qualities like that. They're more concerned with superficial things. Which is why each relationship they get into is just something they see as a stepping stone. It's just seen as a means to an end. It's something they do to achieve something else. Or it's just to occupy themselves while they're waiting for what they really want to appear out of thin air. Because narcissists think that they deserve the world. They think they deserve someone who is on top of their game. Someone who is of the highest quality and level. Someone who is very powerful and important. Someone who is very attractive. Someone who makes a lot of money. But if they don't get that type of person, they're not going to settle.
They think that this perfect character is just going to appear in their lives. They think that they don't have to put in any effort into finding this type of person. They don't think about establishing the qualities and abilities that would be valued and respected by that type of person. They just have this fantasy in their minds. This vision of the kind of person that they would want to spend the rest of their lives with. And they think that this person is just going to magically appear and then they're going to live happily ever after. It sounds crazy. But this is how narcissists think. And sometimes they actually cross paths with these types of people. People who are very attractive and successful. People who are very powerful and important. But they never manage to sustain a relationship with that type of person. They go from one relationship to the next. Nothing ever lasts. And then they get older. And that's when they get a huge wake up call. It begins to change the way they think and they become really desperate. Because their entire lives they've been sold this lie that they deserve the world. They've been told that they deserve this person who is on top of their game. They feel entitled to it, without having to do anything to earn it. Without having to show qualities that are deserving of it. A normal person develops themselves over time. They perfect their qualities and abilities through hardwork and dedication. While the narcissist just one day decides that they're someone special. Just because they exist. And they think that they deserve this person who has worked on themselves. This person who is confident, charismatic and successful. When that person had to work for it. They had to put in time and effort to get to where they are today. They have been rejected many times. They had to go through the trials and tribulations to get to where they are now. To be in the top 10%. But now these narcissists think that they deserve someone like that. They think that type of person is just going to appear in their lives and be everything they've been waiting for. But the unfortunate reality of people in the top 10% is that they don't normally settle.
They're involved in casual relationships. They're seeing multiple people at the same time. They're having sex. Because they had to put in a lot of work to get to where they are today. And now they want to enjoy the fruits of their labour. Now they want to have fun. Because they had to put in a lot of work to develop that confidence. To develop the way they walk. The way they talk. The way they interact with people. It took a lot of time and effort for them to be able to do that. It doesn't just fall into their laps. It doesn't just come to them suddenly in an unexpected way. But most narcissists don't understand the mentality of a person who has become something. They just feel like they're entitled to it. They feel like they can just pick that person out of the crowd. And then that person has to be everything that the narcissist wants them to be. They expect that person to love them for being them. Maybe the narcissist is overweight. Maybe they don't have a job. Maybe they have children from a previous relationship. But they don't see that as a problem or something that might make them less desirable. They expect this top tier person to love them for who they are. But if that person was not attractive and successful, the narcissist would never love them for who they are. That's why narcissists have such a long list of qualities that they desire in a relationship partner. But they never ask you what you want. They might tell you what you want. Or they will just give you their list of everything that they're looking for. And they expect this top tier person who accept them for who they are. This person who is intelligent and attractive. This person who has their own business. This person who will rightfully have their own list of qualities that they're looking for. They're going to be looking for someone who is submissive. Someone who is going to follow their lead. Someone who is kind and friendly. Someone who respects them. Which are all things that most narcissists are not willing to do. The narcissist will be out there being disrespectful. They will be ruining that person's image and reputation. Because they think that they can be with that type of person and still do whatever they want. But that type of person is not going to want someone who is independent.
They're not going to want someone who is out following their own interests. They will get rid of any narcissist who tries to do that. They will throw them out the door. They're not going to tolerate it. Because they recognise the value of everything they've established. So they're not going to let some narcissist come around and destroy it. But narcissists don't want to settle. They don't want to be with someone who is on their level. They want to be with someone who they think is better than them. Because otherwise, if they're with someone who is on their level, that's going to be a reflection of them. Even though, that person who is on their level is more likely to love and accept them. They're more likely to be there and want to start a family. While that top tier person is not going to be interested in anything long-term. They're just going to want a fling. A short period of enjoyment. But these narcissists want that type of person to settle for them. Because they don't understand the mentality of someone who is attractive and successful. They think that they just deserve that type of person. But why should that type of person settle for someone who has nothing to bring to the table? They don't think about that. Because they're self absorbed and they lack empathy. They only think of themselves. They only think about how they can get what they want. They don't think about the trials and tribulations. They don't think about what it takes to be with someone who is attractive and successful. They just think that they can wait at the finish line. And then they can just pop up and revel in everything that person has worked for. But it doesn't work that way. Because what really happens is that they just get used for sexual purposes.
Until they're thrown away and forced to settle for someone who is on their level. But this is what narcissists really want. They want this top tier person. This person who is attractive and successful, powerful and important. Because they don't want to settle. They don't want to be with someone who is on their level. But at the same time, they don't want to put in the effort to be with the type of person that they really want. They don't want to support that type of person on their path to purpose. And they expect that type of person to be loyal and committed to them. After they put in all of that work to get to where they are today. So why should that top tier person settle for less? Why should they settle for the narcissist who has spent many years hooking up and having sex? Why shouldn't that top tier person indulge? But that's something narcissists don't understand. They expect people to settle for less. They expect people to give up everything to be their nothing. They don't want to be with someone who is actually on their level. They would rather just go from relationship to relationship. While they're waiting for this top tier person to appear out of thin air and be with them for the rest of their lives. When it's never going to happen.