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THIS IS WHY They're A Narcissist

Studies have shown that much of a narcissist's personality exists from birth. Different people are born with different mental and physical characteristics. Some people are more relaxed and tolerant. While others are more difficult and dispassionate. So from day one, narcissists already have the tendency to act in a dysfunctional way. They're already wired to be controlling and entitled. It's genetic. It's in their DNA. These qualities and traits were passed to them from their parents. But it may also have been formed by the way in which they were raised. They may have experienced extremes in their childhood. Where their parent persisted in forcefully asking for or requiring something. Until the child determined that this is how things have to be. Or maybe the child was neglected. Maybe they didn't receive much attention. So they developed low expectations.

They learned to not care about anything. But they may also have been taught that superficial things are important. They may have been taught that money, success or physical attractiveness is what will make people accept them. Maybe there was an emphasis placed upon people who were wealthy or beautiful. As though that's who they should direct their hopes and ambitions towards. Or maybe they were taught to be seductive and connect with people's desire for sex. The narcissist may be a narcissist because they were given inconsistent treatment by their parent. Maybe their parent used intermittent reinforcement. Sometimes they were interested in the narcissist. But other times they were cold and distant. So the narcissist learned that they cannot trust or depend on anyone. And that is when it became all about them. They learned that people do not help each other. And that each person has to take care of himself or herself. Because the inconsistency made them insecure. Which made them believe that they need to be in control. To ensure that things are done the way they want. A lot of the narcissist's behaviour is learned behaviour. They were never taught how to handle conflict. They were never taught to take responsibility. They were never taught to deal with their insecurities. They were never taught how to make peace. And many of them may not have had any interest in that. Which is why you will find that they never talk about it. They don't want to be vulnerable. Because they see it as a weakness.

So instead, they choose to manipulate. And they may have learned their craft of manipulation from their parents. Or it may have been through movies or TV shows. Because they believe that it's all a game. And you have to play to win. They learned that if you manipulate and force people into your mould, that means you're winning. This is why they're a narcissist. They are a narcissist for a reason. And you may want them to be different. You may want them to understand. But there's really nothing you can do about it. Because these traits and characteristics were set in place from day one. It's not something that you can change. They can change it. But it's a choice. They have to choose to do it. But there's just no incentive for them to do that. Because they see it as though their manipulation puts them in a better position to win. That's what they've been taught. That's what they've learned. So all you can do now is be aware of it and manage your expectations with them. And focus on your own growth. Let them be an example to you of what you don't want to be.

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Very accurate Chris. Some are born this way and others were shaped and molded this way. It’s a sad situation bc they’re the last one that would consider getting help.

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