Sometimes narcissists give up very quickly. It depends on who they're dealing with. It depends on whether or not you're a suitable target for them. Because there is a certain type of person that they look for. And this type of person is not easy for them to find. You need to possess specific traits. And these traits are attractive to narcissists.
If you don't have these traits, they're not going to be interested in you. Because you're not going to give them supply. So they will only stick around if they believe that they can use you for something else. Whether it's money, sex or a place to stay. But when it seems like the narcissist will never give up, it's because you possess certain traits that make you attractive to them. And these are things that have developed from your childhood. It's determined by how you were treated by your parents or caretakers.
You may have low self-esteem. You may lack confidence in your own worth or abilities. You may have a high threshold for abuse because you doubt yourself. You're susceptible to manipulation and gaslighting. So you don't know if you're right or wrong. You don't know if it's you or them. And they play on that. They exploit it. They use it to their advantage. Because they always have to be the center of attention. And if they're not, they will act differently. Or they may even ignore you. Or they may try to push your boundaries.
And most people would disengage. They would not continue to be involved in this type of dynamic. But instead, you try to help them. You remain hopeful. You assume that maybe things will get better. You try to understand them. You assume that they must be insecure. And that you just need to do more for them. So then you continue to engage with them. Because you have poor boundaries. You say yes because you have a desire to please people. Even though you might prefer to say no. Because you feel guilty when you set aside time for yourself.
Which is why you may often fail to speak up for yourself when they make you feel uncomfortable. And by doing that, you are compromising yourself. And you are losing your sense of self. Because you're holding yourself responsible for their actions, thoughts, and feelings. Rather than just your own. You're extending yourself beyond your sense of your own personal identity. Because you're taking too much responsibility for their actions and emotions.
There are no limits or rules in relationships with narcissists. There are no boundaries or deal-breakers. So there will be abuse. There will be mistreatment. Because they're insensitive. They feel no concern for your feelings. Because they're only concerned about what they want and need. And that is the only reason why they're involved with you in the first place. It's not so that they can bring anything to you. It's not so that they can improve your life. Or build something with you. It's all about them and what they're going to get from being with you.
Which is why they will engage in bad behavior. Because they already know you're going to make excuses for it. They know you're going to justify it. They know you're going to assume that it's because of something you did or didn't do. They know you're going to stick around and try to fix it. And the reason why you will do that is that you don't value yourself. You don't realize that you are something valuable, desirable, and useful. Which results in your standards being far too low. To where you're willing to accept any type of behavior.
Because you're not concerned about how they're treating you. You think that you deserve it. You don't realize your own strengths and capabilities. You don't realize how great you are. But it's also your energy. You're very positive and optimistic. You believe in other people. And narcissists are very dark. So they want to be around your light. Because you're bright and happy. But then as soon as they get around you, they want to tear it down. Because it reflects badly on them. It reminds them of how they're not like that.
The narcissist never gives up because you never give up. And that is really it in a nutshell. You're a people pleaser. You're kind and helpful. You want them to feel good and happy. You care. You're empathic. You're concerned about their self-esteem. And it may also be because you're beautiful. You're physically attractive. It gives them supply. Because other people may be jealous of them. Other people may desire what they have. And they like the idea of something being exclusive to them. Something that other people can't obtain.
But they also don't tend to target people who are unintelligent or unattractive. They just prefer to choose people who aren't aware of their positive qualities and traits. Because people like that are more likely to agree with them. And narcissists need people to be agreeable. They need people to validate the illusion. People who will put them on a pedestal and make them feel amazing. And if you did that for a narcissist, you will have found that they idealized you in the beginning. They saw you as perfect. But then it was only a matter of time until they realized that you were human.
They realized that you had flaws and weaknesses just like everyone else. And then they devalued and discarded you. Because they ended up hating and resenting you. And usually, the reason for that is because they couldn't control you. They realized that you were a separate thing that was outside of their control. If you are with a narcissist, they will always have to control you. They will always have to know where you are 24 hours a day. They will have to know what you're doing and who you're with. They will always have to be in the know.
Comments