There are certain things that shock narcissists and prevent them from continuing. Things that cause them to suddenly stop, because they don't know how to react. They don't know what to do. Here are things that stop narcissists in their tracks. When you reject them. Narcissists think they are very charming and attractive. They think they can have anyone they want. Because everyone wants them. They think they're everyone's ideal choice. So they expect you to chase them. They expect you to want to be involved with them. But when you pull away, it challenges their false reality. It makes them feel irrelevant and unimportant. It triggers them to question their worth. But they don't like to reflect on their own insecurities. It's too painful for them to deal with. So they will get very angry and they will turn against you. They will try to pull you back in just so they can hurt you. Because they want you to feel how they feel.
When you do something they don't expect. Narcissists want you to be predictable. So that they can be ten steps ahead of you. Because that makes it easier for them to control you. So they will try to learn you. They will try to learn what you like and what you don't like. Because then they can determine what type of response they're going to get from you. They can learn what makes you happy and what makes you sad. You become their personal puppet. But if you do something they don't expect you to do. Or if you react in a way that they didn't expect you to react. It catches them off guard. They're unprepared for it. They don't know how to respond.
When you go no contact. Narcissists hate it when you go no contact. Because they see it as something that's outside of their control. They want to be the ones to discard you. Because then they're in a position of power. But when you do it, it makes them feel small. It bruises their ego. And when that happens, they may try to hoover you. But it's not because they love you or miss you. They see you as an object. And they're trying to use you as a form of self-medication. As a bandage for their wound. To prove to themselves that they're not as unimportant as you made them feel.
When you become successful. The narcissist may have told you that you're nothing without them. That you'll never find someone else who will love you. They had to paint this picture of you. They had to create this false narrative. And they expected you to live up to their expectations. But if you went on and became successful without them, it causes their false reality to crumble. Because they always have to be right. They have to be in the know. And they think they've got you all figured out. They think they know everything they need to know. But when you move on and you challenge their false reality, it destroys them. They don't know how to react. Because they see it as though you've won. But they can't accept it. Because they're meant to be superior. They're meant to be better than you. It causes their reality to not make any sense.
When you give them a compliment. Narcissists are miserable. And they expect everyone to be miserable just like them. But when you give them a compliment, you are showing them love and kindness. Which catches them off guard. Because they can't do that. They're too miserable to recognise anyone else's accomplishments. They're too wrapped up in themselves. So when you give the narcissist a compliment, it will stop them in their tracks. The only thing they may do is give you a compliment in return. Because your compliment has triggered them to reflect on their inability to appreciate you. But it won't be a genuine compliment. It's just something they will use to regain their sense of reality. But it will completely catch them off guard. Because deep down they know they're no good. They know they're not providing anything of value to you. And it triggers them to reflect on that. It makes them want to prove themselves. Which may result in them complimenting you.
I believe that I have been very naive about people in my life. If I ask someone a question and they answer me, I assume that they're telling the truth. I can't imagine what they would get out of lying. Then, they have to remember that lie. I have done both. I have suddenly stopped speaking and I don't know if they cared or not. I have suddenly complimented them. I don't understand the games that people like to play. If I have to constantly play chess with another person then, I would probably quit and take up painting. That way, when I was finished I could tell myself, nice tree! 🙂 I like it best when I can compliment…