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Writer's pictureNarc Survivor

The Reason Why Narcissists Live Double Lives

The narcissist lives two separate and very different lives. And they appear to be a different person in each. And one of them could be regarded as embarrassing, immoral or unlawful. And it may be kept hidden from their family, friends and work colleagues. They deceive people by having two separate homes, families and sets of activities. One of which they keep secret. But why do they do it? Why do they live double lives? Why do they have secret relationships? Here are 3 of the main reasons why...



1. They love to keep secrets Narcissists love to keep secrets, because it makes them feel in control. By knowing something you don't know. Which is why they will always be hiding something from you. They will always be cheating, once they have secured you as their source of supply. Because they get bored. And they always need something fresh and new. So they will always be looking for the next shiny new toy. And they're very skilled at convincing their new supply that they are their soulmate or the one. They will make you feel like you are the center of their world. While they are doing the exact same thing with someone else. The narcissist is like the sun. They have multiple planets orbiting them. You are never the only one. 2. Narcissistic supply Narcissists live double lives to get more narcissistic supply. To get more attention and admiration. They enjoy the rush of meeting someone new. Someone who doesn't know who they are. And someone who they haven't learned. It excites them. It feeds their ego. It makes them feel special and important. Desirable and attractive. So whenever they find the opportunity to flirt with someone new, they will take advantage of it. They love putting people under their spell. They love having people wrapped around their thumb.



People who they can toy with. People who they can manipulate. It makes them feel like they are the center of the universe. Which is what every narcissist desires and wants. And when they live double lives they can get both positive and negative supply. They can get positive attention from their new supply, while they're still getting negative attention from you. They will devalue you and put you down. They will do everything they can to make you hate them. While they're still receiving positive attention and admiration from their new supply. But eventually, one of you will be discarded and replaced. 3. Insatiable desires Narcissists have insatiable desires that can never be fulfilled. They have an appetite that is impossible to satisfy. They're never happy with anything they have. They always think they can do better. They always want more. They will do whatever it takes to get you. But once they've got you, they want anyone but you. Because they get bored. It's no longer fun or exciting. Your supply loses its potency. So now they need to find new supply. Narcissists live double lives. They enjoy keeping secrets, because it makes them feel in control. They're only concerned with their own self-interests and needs. But they fear being exposed. Their secrets would expose their lack of empathy. It would reveal to you that they never really cared about you. It would reveal to you that they were never exclusive to you. You were never the only one. You were never special to them. You were one of many. They were never loyal to you. They never loved you. And that is why they live a double life. Because they only care about what they want.



They only care about themselves. There's no amount of your time, love or money that could make them happy. They will always be looking elsewhere. Because they will always want more. One person could never be enough for them. But they will not take accountability for their actions. They will not accept the truth of what they are. When you discover their double life, they will blame you for their cheating. They will make it your fault. They will accuse you of cheating. They will ghost you. They will disappear for days, weeks or even months at a time. They will give you the silent treatment. Because they have another life. They're involved with someone else. They're telling them the same things they say to you. But none of it is real. It's all a facade. They become cold. Because someone else has their attention. They're distracted by their other life. But sometimes they will come back and lovebomb you. They will give you their attention again when they get bored of their new supply. Narcissists live multiple lives. But they're not satisfied with either of them. Which is why they always go back and forth. It's just a matter of time.

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carlyworks555
carlyworks555
Dec 20, 2022

I found all this really interesting. I can't really put my self in that mindset. The idea that someone feels more in control because, they have a secret that someone doesn't know is strange to me. I'm so far the other way. I like to be completely transparent. I feel safe and happy when I know that someone knows me and cares about me. The real me. You also described exactly what was going on when I met a narcissist recently. The secrets that he wanted to keep. The disinterest all of a sudden. I can't think of myself as better than anyone else. The fact that these people can and do is almost funny. I was raised with the…

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