At some point, the narcissist may have felt that they were being treated unfairly by you, whether it was real or imagined. Whether it was criticism, or something you did wrong, or maybe you were just trying to give them advice to help them, and they didn't like it. The narcissist sees this as though you are challenging them. As though you are testing their abilities, inviting competition from them, provoking them into an argument or disagreement. This is where they start to become bitter or resentful towards you. All of that constructive criticism or helpful advice is stored away in the narcissist's mind. And although you may not have meant any harm, and it may have been in their best interest. In the narcissist's mind, it's eating away at them. Because you didn't validate their false selves or their illusions.
You didn't see them as being perfect. You pointed out a fault or mistake which made them feel inferior or less than you. So they become bitter and resentful. They start to see the relationship as a competition. And you don't even have to point out a fault or mistake, all you have to do is witness them doing something wrong. Even if you don't say anything about it, just noticing it is enough. Narcissists have this inner critic or inner dialogue in their minds, so you don't even need to criticise them. You don't even need to point out their faults or mistakes. They will do that on their own and assume that it's how you see them, or how you're thinking about them. This is when the relationship moves to the devaluation phase, and they start becoming bitter and resentful towards you. They develop this feeling that you are now worthless or beneath their consideration. You are now their enemy. So now they are going to start testing your abilities. They are going to invite competition from you. Or start provoking you into an argument or disagreement. Because that's how they had misinterpreted your constructive criticism or helpful advice. They believed that you were trying to point out their faults or mistakes. So now they are going to start pointing out your faults and mistakes. They are going to point out everything that's wrong with you, and they are even going to make things wrong with you. Because they saw it as a challenge. When you do not acknowledge or validate the narcissist's false selves and their illusions, they see it as a challenge, a competition. You either see them as whole, complete, perfect people... or you are offending them. You cannot be around these people and not offend them, without being at least as delusional as they are. Once they've got it in their minds that it's you against them. They will resist perceiving you in the way that they once did. As the amazing, attractive person that once attracted or interested them. You didn't validate their false selves or their illusions. You caused a narcissistic injury, so you are worthless now. And not only do they now see you as this worthless, insignificant person. But they also have to see you as someone to sabotage, threaten, reduce or diminish. You may not notice this straight away, as they can be very secretive. They can be very covert. So they will continue playing along, pretending as though they are on your side, or they understand you. But secretly, they are trying to destroy you. Once they have got to this point, where they have this lingering grudge or feeling of hatred for you. There is no going back after that. They will be plotting their revenge. And you may not see or realize it, because on the surface they are still showing you this fake kind, caring person. But secretly, they are desiring to destroy you. They are only interested in or involved in anything that is about your destruction. And this is why you should never disclose any secret or private information to them. The kind of information that could be dangerous in the wrong hands. Because they will use it against you, they will use it to destroy you. Once you know that you are dealing with a narcissist, you should never reveal your true purpose or objective.
Whether the narcissist is your relationship partner, parent or even your own child. Once they have this grudge or resentment towards you, you cannot change them. They are going to plot to sabotage and destroy anything good in your life. And it will give them a feeling of satisfaction and enjoyment to watch you suffer. But they will not reveal or openly discuss any of this with you. They will continue to play along and pretend as though they still have your best interest in mind. They will even give you ideas or false advice for you to improve all the problems, which they have most likely caused. There's always two sides to a narcissist. On the surface you might see this fake kind, caring person, but the other side of them is laughing at you and enjoying your suffering. They feel like they are winning by tearing you down. And they will even stick around just to witness your pain and suffering. Once they hold a grudge or resentment towards you, there is no going back. After the first narcissistic injury, they will never see you the same way. This is when the relationship moves to the devaluation phase. It can be very confusing when you are dealing with a narcissist, as they have these two sides to them. They can be very deceptive. They will give you an appearance or an impression which is designed to mislead you from the truth. Furthermore, they will deliberately cause you to believe something that is not true. It can make you want to open up to them. It can make you want to reveal secret or private information to them. But this will only be something which they will hold on to and then use against you in the future. They will get you to open up to them and reveal your true feelings, just so they can use them against you. They understand emotions, they experience pain and misery daily. This is why they are so good at creating false drama and chaos. Making you feel anxiety, stress or depression. They know how to cause these emotions, because they are very familiar with them. This is what they experience every day. They are excellent at making you feel the way that they want you to feel, which is also the same way that they feel. It's very difficult to make a person feel a way that you do not already feel yourself. From the devaluation phase onwards, the narcissist is only around to cause pain and suffering within you, for everything you saw wrong with them. Or everything they believed that you thought was wrong with them. Any faults or mistakes that they may have made. Any times that you didn't validate their false selves or their illusions. They take note of all of this, and it builds up this anger or frustration towards you. They become bitter and resentful. So from the devaluation phase, they will stick around only to destroy you. To make you pay for everything that you saw wrong with them, or that they believed you saw wrong with them. And you might think that they're still around because they love or care about you. But they're only there to cause pain and suffering. Once they've destroyed everything good about you, they are gone. But first they want to make sure that you are so mentally and emotionally destroyed, that you can't just move on with your life. They want you to be so damaged, that you will never be good enough for anyone else after they are gone.
And that's the only reason why they are still around. The narcissist will never forgive you. If you believe that you have caused a narcissistic injury, you really need to get away from them, as they can be very dangerous. They might act as though you didn't hurt them, but they will be taking note and then plotting revenge. They will repeatedly abuse you, just from one incident, for years or even entire lifetimes. There is no designated limit or restriction for how much they will abuse a person. It goes on and on until you're either dead, in a mental hospital, or until they've pushed and provoked you to the point where you end up in prison. Once you have done something to hurt or offend the narcissist, whether you intended to or not, whether it was real or imagined by the narcissist. There is no going back to how it used to be.