top of page

The Narcissist Will Do This At The End Of Every Relationship

There is something that narcissists do at the end of every relationship. And this is something that every narcissist will do. It never changes. They all do the same thing. No matter where you are in the world, they all follow the same playbook. So if the narcissist hasn't done this yet, it's inevitable that it will happen. And it is something that can help you to discern whether or not you are dealing with a narcissist. Because normal, healthy people won't do this at the end of a relationship. They won't act in this way. But the narcissist will. And that is how you will know what you're really dealing with. Because this is something that they all do at the end of every relationship. It's something they have to do to survive emotionally. And to protect their false image and reputation. When the narcissist first targeted you, they put you on a pedestal. They saw you as perfect. They saw you as ideal. You were everything they could've wanted you to be. You were better than reality. They had to see you this way for their disorder to function.

Otherwise they would be unable to get supply. Because they have a black and white mentality. Where a person is either all good or all bad. All right or all wrong. There's no inbetween. You're either this or that. So when they first targeted you, they had to see you as perfect and ideal. Or else they would be unable to obtain supply. But as time went by, you began to have more and more disagreements. You would argue about petty and insigificant things. Which may have started to reveal their true nature to you. You may have realised that they were exploiting you. They were selfishly taking advantage of you in order to benefit themselves. And the narcissist immediately senses this. Narcissists are empty shells. They're empty voids. They have nothing within. Which is why they need their supply to reflect back to them how they want to be seen. But if you're no longer doing that, they have a problem. Because once you've witnessed all of these mindless arguments. And you've seen how out of control the narcissist can be. Now you're reflecting something different back to them. It's like you're putting a mirror infront of them. And showing them how they really are. And they don't like what they see. They see it as an attack on their character. As though you're deliberately trying to hurt them. Even though you may not have said anything. You may not have questioned them or confronted them on anything. They are heavily dependent on you as their supply. So they're very finely tuned to you. They're very finely tuned to your reactions. Because that is what gives them supply. So as soon as you start to realise what you're really dealing with... They will immediately know that something is not right. They will notice that you're not reacting to them in the same way as you did. They will sense that something is off. And that is when they will come down on you like a ton of bricks. They will become very authoritative and demanding. They will show a desire to punish you. They will want to get revenge. For everything you saw wrong in them. Because narcissists do not take accountability. Instead they deny or deflect it. They blame you. They have to see it that way for their disorder to function properly. Their disorder is designed to protect themselves from any pain or weakness. If they even take a moment to question whether or not you're right, it triggers their shame. It makes them feel completely inadequate. Because they have a black and white mentality. At some point in their lives, they learned that people are either all good or all bad. All right or all wrong. So for them to be good and right, you have to be bad and wrong. And if you're bad and wrong, they have to punish you.

Which is why at the end of every relationship, the narcissist will blame you for everything. Regardless of what they did to you. They may have abused you verbally or even physically. They may have damaged your property. They may have stolen things from you. They may have smeared your name to everyone you know. But they will still see you as the problem. They have to see you as the problem. Because they are shame based individuals, who are doing everything they can to avoid reflecting on their shame. And there's really nothing you can do to get through to the narcissist. Because any time that you try to tell them what they're doing wrong, they take it as an attack. It triggers their shame, which is followed by rage and then they just want to destroy you. Narcissists cannot accept feedback. They cannot accept constructive criticism. But they want to have the authoritative position over you. They want to tell you what to do. Because it gives them supply. It makes them feel powerful and important. It makes them feel like they're in control. But the reality is that the only reason why they greatly desire power and control is because they don't have it. They feel completely helpless. They have no control over their own lives. Because they refuse to take accountability for where they find themselves. Instead, they want to dominate you. They're the judge, jury and the executioner. Because then it takes the focus off of them and everything that they are responsible for. There are few things a narcissist hates more than accountability. It's their kryptonite. It knocks them off their high horse and brings them back to reality. And the reality is that they have caused a lot of problems. They have ruined a lot of people's lives. They always find a reason to blame you for something. But if you go back and look at the root cause of the problem, it always goes back to them. Anything else that followed was just the effect of their actions. And deep down they are fully aware of this. They know that if they had made better judgement and made the right decisions, things would have turned out very differently. And that is why they deny everything they've done. They blame you for everything. Because if they were to accept even one fault or mistake that they've made. It would open the floodgates to everything else they've done. And the shame would be too overwhelming for them to deal with. Because the reality is that if they had made different decisions, there would have been a different outcome.

The problem is that narcissists have a lack of respect for themselves and a lack of love. Which is why they treat you with a lack of love and respect. Which is why things turned out the way they did. Because I can guarantee that if they were emotionally qualified for the position of being with you. It would have been very different. But narcissists are very childish and immature. Which is why when all is said and done, they will blame you for everything. They will hold you accountable for things that they are responsible for. And then will smear your name. They will make everyone else buy into the same narrative. Which will be very easy for them to do. Because although they may have been abusing you behind closed doors. They were manipulating everyone else into believing that they're this samaritan. Because they have to do that to get supply. So when it all comes down to it, no one is going to believe you. Everyone is going to side with the narcissist. And you will be left to take the fall on your own.

251 views4 comments

Recent Posts

See All


This deals with causality. I went around and around about what caused the way they treated me and the feedback I always got. This nails the cause for me. I never wanted to blame someone else because I am so responsible to get MY power in my life by attacking problems by their cause... by always asking why? But this is one blame (assignment) that has to happen for anything to make sense and for me to get a real sense of who I am. I have to know consciously that he is not the great father I thought he was when I was small. I am not the one who made a mistake! Thank you NS. This …


This article is Spot On! Every step mentioned here, is exactly how my covert psychopathic witch of a soon to be X of a sub-human wife, handled the aftermath of MY DISCARD FROM HER!! After 32 years of marriage! Which she threw away like it was yesterday’s news. She blamed ME! And even took it to the level of accusing me of being the Narc! Her being the victim! And we all know how good they are at manipulating her “Flying Monkey’s. My own sister still stays in contact with her, listens and believes her lies upon lies. When all she has to do is look at where the players in this game from Hell are now. She’s still at the home…


Thank you. I’m glad it touched you in a good way. The first 4-5 months was a living hell, with my biggest hurdle of getting through the “Ruminating” stage. Like a record stuck on repeat in your mind with no off switch. Miserable to say the least. One day at a time.. Good luck in your future.

bottom of page