So many people are seeking validation from the narcissist. They're trying to understand the narcissist, when the narcissist doesn't understand themselves. They don't know what they're doing with their lives. Their emotions are up and down from one moment to the next. But they fool you into thinking that they're greater than you. Where you end up doing everything for them. You take them to nice places. You try to understand them. You do everything you can to please them. To make them happy. To make their lives more convenient. Until they start to drift away from you. They became distant. And it makes you wonder what you did wrong. It keeps you looking at yourself. When you want the narcissist to chase you. Instead of you chasing them. But the reality is that the narcissist doesn't care about you. No matter what you do for them. No matter how much you try to make them happy. No matter how many videos you watch in an attempt to understand them. They will still drift away. Nothing you do will ever be enough. But most people keep seeking their validation.
They want the narcissist to know that they care about them. But the narcissist does not care about that and they don't care about you. It means nothing to them. It's only when you cut them off and focus on something else, that they then come running back to you. You have to understand that narcissists create their own problems. They create the problems in the relationship, because they want you to try to fix it. They cause drama and chaos, just to see you going through it. Just to see you try. Because they already know that you're a good person. They know that you want to make things right. Which is why they intentionally make things difficult for you. So that they can sit back and watch you try. When the narcissist tries to create problems for you, ignore them. Stop chasing them. Stop giving them your attention. That is when they will chase you. They will start stalking you. They will want to know why you're not talking to them. They will do anything to get your attention. But as long as you keep chasing them, they're just going to ignore you. Because they love your validation. They love watching you try to fix everything. But when you stop trying to fix things and you focus on your own life. They will chase after you.
Spot on!