In the end, the narcissist will always devalue you. They will try to tear down your self-esteem. Because it's your self-esteem that protects you. It tells you you're better than that. It tells you that you deserve more. It reminds you of your value and worth. When they attack your self-esteem, it may make you want to fight back. Or you may begin to shut down. You may begin to identify with what they're saying to you. With who they want you to be. Which is why it's so dangerous to listen to their messages. Because it's not going to build you up and make you a better person. It's intended to break you down. In the end, the narcissist will always try to weaken you. They will blame you for everything. And they will act as though they're perfect. As though they're angels sent from God. As though they never did anything wrong. And you won't even be thinking about anything that they did wrong. Because they've already brainwashed you. To where you're unable to identify your own worth. Now you identify with whatever they're saying about you. Whatever they say about you becomes the truth.
And by this point, they will always blame you. They will always say something is wrong with you. They have to do that, if they're going to move on. So that they can feel better about their decision. And so that it doesn't look bad to other people. But they don't consider that it actually looks very weird that they're always giving the assessment. They're always telling you what's right and what's wrong. As though they're the authority. But they have to do that to brainwash you into thinking you're less valuable than what you are. Because they want you to think you're not worth anything. They want you to think you're not about anything. So that you begin to look to them for your value. As though they're the only ones who can give that to you. Because that's what they've brainwashed you into thinking, the entire time that you've been with them. Which works very well for them. Because it keeps you under their spell. It keeps you under their control. Where you're not good enough. You're not worth enough. Because they make themselves the judge, the jury and the executioner. They are the end-all be-all. They have the final say. They must be considered as something of the utmost importance. As something essential and ultimate. That determines who you are. And what your value is.
So that you begin to look to them to validate your worth. Which keeps you holding on to them. It keeps you chasing them, while they're always running away. Because you're identifying with everything they've said about you. With their value system which they've assigned to you. So you don't even know what your worth is. You don't even know how something of value is meant to be treated. Because you're just going off of what the narcissist is telling you is valuable.
Which is why after a while, they must target your self-esteem. They must break you down by not giving you any compliments. Or anything to make you feel like you're doing something good or right. They must make you think that what you're doing isn't that special. As though they could get the same or better treatment from somewhere else. As though it's not worthy of their time and attention. As though it's beneath their consideration. Because that's how they chip away at your self-esteem. That's how they keep you under their control. That's how they keep you under their spell.
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