The narcissist was never fully engaged. They were never really involved with you. You never had their full attention. They were never invested in you. They just wanted to see what they could get out of you, from being with you. They didn't love you. They were just there for the benefits and conveniences that you provided to them. And when they've drained everything out of you, they're ready to get rid of you. It doesn't matter about all of the experiences you shared together. All of the things you went through. That doesn't mean anything to them. They will put you down. And dismiss you as unimportant. Because now they've set their sights on something else. Because they're easily influenced by other people. And they will be talking about you to these new people. But they're only going to give them their perspective.
They're only going to give them one side of the story. When they were the issue. They were the ones who did something wrong. But they're not telling people about that. Because they lack introspection. But they've found their new supply. And it's shiny and new. Which is what they're drawn to. So they will treat you like you never existed. Like they were never even with you. Because they knew that you were going to leave them at some point. They knew you were starting to figure them out. They knew you were getting fed up of them. So they had to beat you to the punch. They had to find someone else, before you found someone. Because at that point, they saw you as a lost cause. They lost all hope in you. So they put someone in position to replace you. Which is very easy for them to do. Because at that point, everyone looks better than you. They have to exaggerate it to make it seem like everything is wrong with you. Because they have an inability to sustain a relationship.
They can't be involved in anything for a long period of time. Because there's only so many things they can do to lock you under their control. To keep you under their spell. So at some point they have to devalue you. They have to see you as not being good enough. They see things in black and white. So you're either all good or all bad. And it's very easy for them to see someone new as being better than you. And once they're ready to discard you, they will see you as being evil. They will see you as the bad guy. Because that's how they have to see things. That's the only way that they can function as a narcissist. And justify everything they do to you. They will see the new person as genuine and good. As someone who saves them from danger and difficulty. And they will be emotionally invested in that person. They will tell them about how they've been mistreated. And how you were so unfair to them. And they will see them as a perfect person with no faults. As someone who is more important than you. But they often run into people who are just like them.
People who are manipulative and abusive. People who are just selling them a dream. But they had to find someone else. Because otherwise they'd have to accept that they have failed. They'd have to accept that they are the issue. So they will do whatever it takes to lockdown their new victim. So that they can feel better about themselves. And the new person will feel like they are helping the narcissist. Like they are rescuing them from a difficult situation. And that's how it works so well. You may remember that it worked on you. When you first met the narcissist, they played the victim. They told you about how their ex mistreated them. They plead for your support. Because that is how they move from relationship to relationship. Without accepting any accountability. So they move on to this new person. And they enter this delusional fantasy world. Where everything is perfect. But it only lasts for a few months or less. Because they're so out of control.
Anyone who stays with them longer than that is being abused. They've become the narcissist's doormat. They've become their emotional punching bag. But in the beginning, it may seem like everything's fine. Because they're fuelled by the fantasy. They're playing a different character. They're trying to learn this new person. And that is why you won't hear from them during this time. Because it requires a lot of their time and energy. To train someone to be their doormat. To be someone that they can walk all over. To be their slave. But at some point, the fantasy wears away. It begins to die down. And by that point, they may have already married this new person and had children with them. And this new person may never have expected this to happen. But eventually, the narcissist gets bored. They get tired of you. And when that happens, they're ready to leave. They're ready for another dose, another rush, from another person. They're addicted to people. And that is why their new supply will always fail.
The cycle always repeats itself. The earliest stage is full of laughter, lust and attraction. Everything seems perfect. But it's all fake. And eventually they get tired of maintaining the facade. They don't have anything left to give. So you get bored of them. And they get bored of you. And then it's a done deal. Because they were giving you a false character. And you may have invested a lot of money into them. You may have married them and had children with them. But now they're ready to bail. Because they can't control their addiction. They love the rush of meeting someone new. But they can't sustain it. They can't be involved in anything for a long period of time. They're only good when things are new. Because after some time they get bored. They get tired. And then they will start to abuse you. Which is why they're really only good for one night stands. Or a friends with benefits type of situation. They're not good for anything else. They will only let you down. They will only disappoint you.
Which is why when you try to hold on to them, they're disgusted with you. They show strong disapproval, as though it's something unpleasant or offensive. They don't want anything to do with you. And they will act like there's something wrong with you. But really it's them. They just did a good job of hiding their issues from you. You thought you knew them. But you never knew anything about them. Because they gave you a false character. A character that they weren't attached to. Which is why it was so easy for them to leave. It was so easy for them to discard you when they decided to bail on that character. When they bail on the character, everything else goes with it. And then they create a new character with someone new. But they can't sustain it for long. Because they're addicted to people. And it's no different to someone who is addicted to drugs. They're going to do whatever it takes to get it. They will lie to you. They will steal from you. Because they like when everything is shiny and new.
So wherever they go, they leave behind them a lot of damage and destruction. They destroy everything in their path.And there's nothing you can do to change that. There's nothing you can do to fix them. There's nothing you can do to make them better. You can try to give them love, but they're not going to be able to receive it. Because they don't love themselves. And you can't receive something that you don't already possess. Which is why they settle for external validation. They settle for something that's worthless and meaningless. But it's enough to keep them going. Which is why they're always looking for supply.
They're always looking for people to cater to them and regulate their emotions. But people will always fall short of their needs and demands. No one will ever be enough for the narcissist. Because they're not enough for themselves. And until they give themselves what they need, every relationship will fail. It doesn't matter if they get married and have children. They're still going to feel empty inside. Nothing on the outside is going to fix what is wrong with them on the inside. That's something only they can fix. So they can go from relationship to relationship. And think that they've found someone better who's going to make things right. But it's not going to change anything. It's just going to make things worse for them. It's just going to make them even more dependent on other people.
When they just need to depend on themselves. Instead of expecting other people to give them what they need. But they will continue to do that, because they don't want to be better. They're quite comfortable with how things are. They like their disorder. It works for them. So they have no desire to change. But they're never going to be happy. They're never going to experience a healthy relationship with anyone. They're never going to experience true love. The best you will ever get from a narcissist is an illusion and a fantasy. And that is what they try to sell to you. Until you realise it's all fake. And that is when they turn against you. Rinse and repeat.
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