The darkest manipulation tactic that narcissists use is actually something that people do naturally. And it's something that's very effective. It can make them chase after you. It can make them want to gain your attention. It can make them recognise your worth. But when people naturally do this, it may not be something that they are aware of. Or if they are aware of it, they're not doing it with the intention to harm you or cause you distress. When narcissists do it, they are exploiting you. They are making full use of you and deriving benefit from you. They are making use of the situation in a way that would be considered unfair and underhand. So there is a difference. Because they're using you unfairly for their own advantage. They're not taking responsibility for their own emotions. They're not taking responsibility for what they're doing to you. Because they just don't care.
They don't want the same things as we do. They don't really want a relationship with you. They're not seeking a partner. They're not seeking someone to build with. They're seeking power and control. They're seeking attention. They're not seeking love. But when they target you, it feels good to them. And that is why they do it. It brings them excitement. They see it as though you're the solution to their problems. As though you're going to save them. But with time, it begins to fade away. Because they realise you're not perfect. They realise you're human. So they begin to criticise you. But they will still choose to stay with you. Even though they don't really want you. Because there are benefits that come along with that. They're getting something out of it. But they don't want to be intimate with you. Because they don't want to be vulnerable. So instead, they will avoid you. They will push you away. And they don't consider how it affects you, because they lack empathy.
Instead, they become very bitter and resentful towards you. As you're giving them more and more of your time, energy and money. Until you finally give up. You stop trying. You accept that you can't make them happy. And when that happens, they fear losing your attention. Because it bruises their ego. It makes them feel unimportant. It makes them feel like you don't want them. So to regain their power and control over you, they will pull you back in. They may return to the lovebombing phase. They may give you fake intimacy. Or they will use intimidation and threats. They will shame you. Because then it pulls you back in. Which makes them feel important again. But once they've pulled you in, they've got to push you away again. Because they don't want intimacy. They don't want to be vulnerable.
They fear rejection. Because it puts them in a position where they lack control. But it creates an addiction for you. Because you're waiting for the next dose. You're waiting for the next high. It creates a dependency. They leave and then they come back. They get what they want and then they're gone again. Without taking any responsibility for what they're doing to you. Because they don't care about what you want. They don't care about how you feel. They're just doing whatever makes them feel good. Which can change from moment to moment. And they won't even tell you how they feel or what they need. And they won't ask you how you feel or what you need. Because they can't deal with vulnerability. This is the narcissist's darkest manipulation tactic. This is their push/pull game. They pull you in and then they push you away. And then the moment they pull you back in, they push you away again.
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