Updated: Nov 18, 2021
You have made the choice to move on from the narcissist. You don't want them to be a part of your life anymore. The narcissist displays nothing but hate and anger towards you, everything you stand for and everything you are interested in. Yet, when you want to leave and move on with your life. They can't let you go. They can't just leave you alone. Not only that, but they are completely obsessed with you. They are addicted to you. You want nothing to do with them, believe me, they get it. But they are not ready to let you go. So even though you want nothing to do with them, they are still going to be around. Covert narcissists will stalk you from the shadows. They will take note of the places you go to, the times and dates. While overt, narcissists will be open about it, and they may even tell you that they are stalking you. They will approach you and try to appeal to your own ideals. It can often feel like the narcissist just doesn't get it. No matter how obvious you make it to them, they can't help themselves. They can't just leave you alone, it's a sickness. This is a clear identification of the disorder.
Every time they try to leave you alone, something triggers in their minds. It makes them want to check in with you again, they are always wondering what they might be missing. Because their lives are miserable, they have nothing going on in their lives, so of course they are going to stalk and harass you. They have nothing else to do in their lives. A normal, emotionally healthy, emotionally stable person... will not even have the time to do this stuff. They are not going to go out of their way to do this. They have their own lives, they don't have the time to keep checking in and seeing what you are doing. If their lives are so great, they are not even going to care. But the narcissist is miserable, bored and dissatisfied with their lives. So the only fun and excitement they get is from being around you. This is why they cannot get away from you. The only fun and excitement they have in their lives, is from being in your presence. Apart from that, it's all dull and boring. So of course they are going to be stalking you and trying to be a part of your life. Remember, you have what they want. The good qualities, the fun, the excitement. They love all that, they want to be a part of it. But it's not meant for their consumption. Especially now that you are healing and practicing self-love. No self-loving, self-respecting person belongs with a narcissist. And once you reach a certain level of self-love, in a regular situation with a narcissist, it will repel them. They will not want anything to do with you from that point. Narcissists hate themselves, and they are attracted to other people who hate themselves. This is why they try so hard to make you like that, so they can still keep you as a source of supply. In some situations, the narcissist will even stick around as you are developing self-love. The Human Magnet Syndrome by Dr. Ross Rosenberg states that it is narcissists and codependents who have this intense attraction to each other. Both narcissists and codependents are not attracted to people who practice real self-love, only other self-loving people are. But even though the narcissist is no longer attracted to you, in these situations they will stick around.
Doing whatever they can to break your boundaries and turn you into a codependent once more. It's like they never give up, because for them, this is it. This is all they've got... without you, they have nothing. So even though they are no longer attracted to you, they will still stick around. When we are not meant for their consumption. And don't feel as though it is a bad thing to not be attractive to the narcissist.
That's a good thing, that should be your goal. Because the narcissist is only attracted to other self-hating people, like themselves. And just remember the toddler and the $100 bill analogy. If you give a toddler a $100, they will not recognise its value, they will not treat it with any respect. But that doesn't mean it's not worth anything. It just means that you need certain qualities and maturity to be able to appreciate its value. Just like, you need to be self-love abundant to be attracted to other people who are self-love abundant. You cannot appreciate self-love and all these other good qualities, until you begin to develop them yourself. The narcissist may still stick around as you are developing your self-love. As I said, they can't just let you go, because you are all they've got. You bring the fun and excitement into their lives. Without you, it's completely miserable for them. But we are not meant for their consumption.
A narcissist cannot partake in the development of your self-love. They are bound to self-hate while pretending that they really love themselves. So when you are in their presence, and you display real, true self-love to them, the very thing that they are pretending to have. Of course, it is going to trigger the hate, anger, envy and jealousy within them. They like you, they like your qualities. I'm sure they find you physically appealing too. But they cannot partake in your development, so what good are they? They are just going to bring you down and make you miserable, like they are. So what can you do from here? Just let them try to be a part of your life. Let them try to partake in the very qualities and beliefs that they want, but do not have. They can try all they want, but they aren't getting anything from me. I want no fake ass narc in my life. So leave the narcissist in the past, where they belong. They may have affected your past, but that doesn't they have to affect your future. Continue to heal yourself and practice self-love.