What does it mean to be put in a box? In society, we are put in a box to conform and act or appear as what is considered to be a normal person. With the narcissist, it is a way of restricting or limiting you. You have to be exactly what they expect you to be, rather than being your own person. From a young age, this is what the narcissistic parent will do to you. They will put you in a box. They will condition you to conform and act or appear as whatever it is that they personally expect from you. Rather than being your own person, rather than being your true self. Rather than being in line with your own true purpose, beliefs, values, principles, desires, wants and needs.
When the narcissist puts you in a box, you become greatly restricted or limited as a person. You may adopt the same or a similar purpose, beliefs, values, principles, desires, wants and needs as the narcissist. You may forget about what you truly believe or value. You may forget about what you truly desire, want or need and just go along with the narcissist. This is why when you are with the narcissist, you never feel like you are being your true self. You never feel genuinely happy. Because to be happy, you need to be authentic. You cannot be authentic when you are stuck in the box that the narcissist has placed you in. But the narcissist does not care about how you feel.
From birth, if the narcissistic parent put you in a box, it is to keep you as a never-ending source of supply. It was easy for them to do this to you at a young age, because you had no idea that you were in the box. But as you grow older and experience real life. You begin to develop your own beliefs and perceptions. It becomes more and more difficult for the narcissistic parent to keep you in this box. This is why when you became a teenager and started to find your own style and your own opinions and beliefs... The narcissistic parent didn't like that. Because you were specifically placed in that box to serve the narcissist, to regulate their emotions, to provide them with narcissistic supply.
Once you leave the box, it causes a narcissistic injury and they feel like their pet is escaping. The narcissistic parent will become hateful and angry towards you. They will manipulate you to get back into the box which they have created for you. The narcissist wants you to think the way they want you to think. They want you to believe what they want you to believe. They want you to do the things that they want you to do. You may have thought that you were the issue. But you were just trying to leave the box which they placed you in. The older you get, the harder they will try to keep you in the box. They will try to isolate you and prevent normal life experiences. Whatever it takes to stop you from seeing them from the perspective of the outside world. Because they know that what they are doing is not right. They feel great amounts of shame for trying to keep you in this box for your entire life.
They will do whatever they can to maintain a code of silence and to pretend as though nothing is wrong. The only thing that is wrong is you out growing the box which they have created for you. You were not supposed to expand your thoughts. You were not supposed to change your beliefs. You were not supposed to do what you wanted to do. You were supposed to think how the narcissist wanted you to think. You were supposed to adopt their beliefs about yourself, them and your environment. You were supposed to do what they wanted you to do. The narcissist wants to have complete control over every aspect of your life. That's the only way that they can keep you in the box. If you leave the box, you can no longer provide them with narcissistic supply. And this is why they will control everything you do, everything you even think of doing, everyone you talk to and every place you go to. They have to control it all. Because you are their pet, you are their narcissistic supply. And they know that once they lose control of you, once you experience what life is like outside of that box... They are going to struggle to get you back in there again.
They do not want you to question them. This is why they use manipulative tactics like denial, projection and blame-shifting. If you try to confront them, they will gaslight you. They will spin you around in circles and hide the truth. Because they know that the truth will set you free. The truth is they have been trying to control you from day one. The narcissistic parent, your narcissistic partner and society. They always tried to get you to be their version of you, rather than who you really are. They conditioned you to conform and act in a way that benefits them, rather than you. In a way where they are able to enslave you as their source of narcissistic supply. As you grew up and you began to develop your own thoughts and beliefs. The narcissist became more hateful and angry towards you. It created arguments and fights, where you became anxious and stressed. It affected your emotional health. Some people experience psychotic breakdowns. You may even do something that you wouldn't normally do, in an attempt to escape the box. Such as violence, drinking alcohol or doing drugs. Many people end up in mental hospitals, prison or even dead... just trying to escape the box. The narcissist will then use this as an excuse to put you back into the box. If you are trying to escape the box which they have created for you, you are a dangerous person. You are a threat to their narcissistic supply. If you still try to escape the box, they will remind you of all of the bad choices you made in the past. Although they were likely to be impulsive decisions you had made in a desperate attempt to leave the box, they will tell you that you are crazy or that there is something wrong with you. You are a bad person and you need to be placed in this box so you do not do anything like that again.
Do not believe it. Do not believe anything they say. They want to put you back in the box because they are losing control over you. They are losing their narcissistic supply. You are beginning to develop your own thoughts and beliefs about yourself, them and your environment. They do not like that. In their minds it's like "You're not allowed to have your own thoughts. You're not supposed to choose what you want to think and believe." This is a clear sign that you are beginning to leave the box. You are starting to think outside the box. You are beginning to do things that they never expected you to do. It suggests to them that you are no longer their pet, their slave. You are beginning to think for yourself, you are beginning to do things the way you want to do them. And they do not like that. They expect you to conform to their distorted and limited way of thinking and behaving. If you do this enough, eventually they will disown you. They will see you as a lost cause. But this shouldn't worry you. Don't think that they no longer care about you, they never cared about you. If they really cared about you, they wouldn't have placed you in that box for their own selfish needs. They would have allowed you to be free and experience life any way that you choose. So for anyone who is watching this. Please leave that box. Begin to think outside of the box and soon enough you will develop your own thoughts and beliefs. They will do whatever they can to pull you back in. They will even tell you that maybe we can compromise, maybe we can do what you want. But soon enough, once they have got you in that box again, they will continue to force their ways on to you. So please leave the box. It's no good for you and to be honest, it's no good for them. It limits them, it takes up a lot of their time and it is highly addictive to the point where keeping you in the box becomes a lifestyle for them.