When the narcissist first met you, they lovebombed you. They told you whatever they thought you wanted to hear. They showed you whatever they thought you wanted to see. They sold you a dream. They gave you what-if scenarios that could hypothetically come true. They gave you false hope. They lied to you about something about your possible future. While knowing that it wasn't true. While not taking any steps to make it a reality. Because the truth is that the narcissist never wanted a future with you. From day one, they saw you as something that was temporary. You were disposable. You were readily available for their use as required. You were intended to be thrown away after use. But they had to make you believe in something. They had to make you believe in something good about your possible future, in order to keep you around. Which may make you wonder.If they want something temporary, why didn't they target someone who wanted the same thing? The narcissist cannot target someone who desires something temporary. Because then that person wouldn't be willing to invest everything they have.
Then that person wouldn't trust and believe in the narcissist. If you know that something is going to end, why would you give everything you have? Which is why the narcissist has to target someone who is thinking about the future. Someone who has goals and dreams. Because they sell that dream to you. They can future fake. They can give you a detailed vision of the future, to faciliate bonding and connection in your relationship. Because they know that if they can simulate bonding and connection, you're going to be more willing to invest everything you have. Because you think you're going to get something in return for what you give to them. You think you're going to get your desired outcome or result. But although the narcissist may have fed this dream to you, they had no intentions of making it a reality. They never took the steps to bring it into fruition. It was just something they used to string you along, so that they could get what they want from you in the present. Because the truth is, regardless of what the narcissist said to you, they never wanted a future with you. The evidence of this was there all along. But we overlook it. We believe in what they're saying to us. We don't assume that we're being deceived. But the reality is that they never considered what lies ahead. It was never a concern to them. When a person is in a relationship and they're thinking about their future with that person. They're going to take the necessary steps to ensure that everything turns out ok. It's like preparing for a storm. They're going to do everything they can to prevent destruction. To prevent anything from going wrong. But the narcissist never took any steps to protect your future with them. And although you could argue that there are storms in every relationship. The narcissist also never took any steps for recovery. They never took any steps to make things right. When you look back at your relationship, you will see that the narcissist is the storm. They caused destruction in your life. They broke you down. They turned you into nothing but a shell of what you used to be. They destroyed you mentally and emotionally. They destroyed you financially. If they were considering a future with you, they would never have done any of that. If you have a laptop and you plan on using it in the future. You're not going to grab a bat and start smashing it up. Because that will affect it's functioning in the future. It's not going to be able to perform in the way that it used to. It's going to be destroyed, as a result of your actions. You're not going to intentionally damage something, if you have a purpose for it in the future. And it's the same thing with the narcissist. If they have a purpose for you in the future, they're going to treat you with dignity and respect. They're going to protect you from danger or harm. They're not going to abuse you. But that's exactly what these narcissists do. They abuse you to the point where there's no going back.
Where you're not going to serve any purpose for them in the future. Because those are their true intentions. They want to break you down. So that you're not going to be good for anyone after they're gone. They know that the relationship is going to end. They know that at some point you're going to leave them and move on to something else. Every narcissist knows this. They know that they're not meant to be loved. They know that you would not willingly desire to remain around them. Which is why they use false promises and future faking. They promise something in the future. But they always withhold what you need in the present. Because if you had everything you need, you would have no reason to remain around them. What keeps you stuck with them is when you're holding on and waiting for a return on your investment. You're waiting for a possible future. But there is nothing in the future. They sold you a dream. They never took the steps to make it a reality. But by the time you figure this out, the narcissist has already done their work on you. They've already ran you through the mud. To the point where you no longer possess the qualities and abilities to just move on your own. Because the narcissist knew that at some point you would figure this out. At some point you would desire to leave. And they knew that you would take everything that is valuable about you and move on to something else. They knew that you would leave them in the pit that they created for you. Which is why they stripped you of everything that made you who you are. Everything that otherwise would have given you power and strength. They never invested anything into you. Because they knew that would have given you strength. That would have given you the strength to move on. But they need you to be weak. They need you to feel like you're not good enough for anyone or anything. As though this is as good as it gets for you. Because then you're not going to try to leave. Then you're going to continue to invest all of your time and energy into the narcissist. Which is building them up and making their life more convenient. It's recharging their battery. But it's draining you, to the point where you begin to feel dead.
You begin to feel like you have no purpose in life. And that's where many of you become the cause of your own destruction. Because the narcissist has already primed you for this purpose. Many of you start doing destructive things. You're picking up where they left off. And now all they have to do is sit back and watch you destroy your own life. Because they've already primed you to be this way. They don't even have to do anything anymore. You're doing it to yourself. And now they can say that it's all you. They can hold you responsible for everything that happened. They can say that you were the cause of it.
That's when they start their smear campaign. They turn everyone against you. They mislead people into thinking you're bad or crazy. When if they had wanted a future with you, they never would have done that. If you're thinking about what lies ahead, you're going to practice the proper maintenance and recovery. You're going to treat it with dignity and respect. You're not going to run it into the ground. But that's exactly what these narcissists do. They're intentionally trying to destroy you, from day one.