top of page

The Narcissist Cannot Be Intimate With You

You cannot have a close friendship or personal or sexual relationship with the narcissist. You cannot have a connection with them. They are not capable of being emotionally vulnerable with you. They believe that love and kindness is for people who are weak. If they were to be intimate with you, it would create an attachment, causing them to lose their power. The narcissist attaches their victims to them, they do not attach to their victims. If the narcissist was to attach to their victims, their fuel needs would not be met sufficiently. They would not be able to survive. They have to be free of anything that could potentially slow them down or prevent them from getting their fuel. Once the narcissist has extracted all of the fuel and resources they can get from you, it is in their best interest to move on and find another source of supply. If they were intimate with you, it would have created an attachment, which would have made it more difficult for them to move on. Rejecting intimacy eliminates the threat of attachment. At the beginning of the relationship, you could be fooled into believing that the narcissist does desire intimacy. But they are actually mirroring you or appealing to your own ideals. They mirror your likes and interests to develop a bond or create a sense of familiarity with you and secure you as a source of supply. Intimacy is used to support the illusion and to control you. But it isn't real. They're just reflecting back to you what you're displaying to them, what they think you want to see, or what is considered to be the social norm. Their intimacy is artificial or manufactured and it is used to trick or manipulate you. Once the relationship moves to the devaluation, even their artificial or manufactured intimacy and affection is taken away. By devaluing you and removing the false intimacy and affection, it ensures that even if there was a possibility of attachment, it is now removed. Devaluation prepares for the discard phase, making it easier for the narcissist to leave you. It is in their nature to reject true intimacy. They apply false intimacy to secure you as a source of supply, but even this is removed through devaluation. By rejecting true intimacy, attachment cannot develop. When the narcissist has extracted all of the fuel and resources they can get from you, they can let go and replace you, in a way that does not affect them. It is quick and effective. They don't waste their time or energy. By rejecting intimacy, their resources can be directed towards obtaining fuel and resources. Intimacy must be rejected for them to sustain their existence and success.

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page