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Reasons Why Narcissists Get Married

Writer's picture: Narc SurvivorNarc Survivor

Many narcissists choose to unite as spouses in a consensual and contractual relationship recognised by law. And they may even have children with you. But narcissists are some of the worst spouses and parents in the world. So why do they waste their time? Why do they do it? False image, Narcissists do not get married or have children for the same reasons that we do. Many of them do it to display a false image to the world. Because they know that it's normal for people to get married. And they don't want to stick out like a sore thumb. They want to blend in. They want to look normal. And they know that at some point they're expected to get married. It's important for their image. So they will do whatever it takes to make sure they marry the right person.


To secure their supply Narcissists will get married because then they feel like they own you. Then they feel like you belong to them. They won't tell you this before you marry them. But this is one of the main reasons why they get married. Because then you're stuck with them.You can't go anywhere. So then they start to feel more comfortable around you. They feel like they can do whatever they want. And you just have to put up with it.





To prevent you from leaving Narcissists believe that if they marry you, you are less likely to leave them. Because now you are legally bound to them. You must perform your respective obligations. You have a binding promise, agreement and decision that must be obeyed and carried out. Which helps to suppress their fear of abandonment. Most people may view marriage as a mutual concession. Where you meet each other halfway. Where you settle your differences by means of a compromise. But that is not why narcissists get married. They don't get married to be a part of a team. They're just looking at what you're going to be giving to them. They don't even consider your needs. They only care about themselves. Which is why they will intentionally choose someone who they can manipulate into doing what they want.


Emotional punching bag Narcissists want someone who they can abuse. They want someone who they can blame for everything. Even if you're not responsible for it. Because narcissists don't take accountability for anything they do. They don't take accountability for the way things turn out. Which is why they need someone else to be responsible. They need someone who they can blame for when things go wrong.


They want a slave They want someone who they can force to work excessively hard for them. Someone who will obey them. Someone who will be their property. Someone who they can control. Someone who will do whatever they want. Someone who they can devalue and degrade. So that they can indulge in the abuse and feel better about themselves.

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Genisis Armstrong
Feb 01, 2023

Thank you Chris, that is exactly who I was to my ex narcissistic husband. I feel like I was his human voodoo doll. As he prospered in life, I physically got worse. It seemed as if all the consequences for his sins, I absorbed somehow. His sins: adultery, engaging with prostitution (which helps sex traffickers), homosexuality, group sex, fraudulent activity, lying on his job, rebellion against God bc he did all this while being an “ordained minister”, child neglect & emotional abuse and greed.

I always knew and sensed something wasn’t right. I felt as if I had been hexed or had a spell casted on me. He only discarded me permanently thru divorce when he realized I truly wasn’t…

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