Birds of a feather flock together. Sometimes the narcissist will be working with other narcissists. This may be in your family or at your workplace. Or it could be your neighbours. And it will feel like everyone is against you. It will feel like you are alone. Because you are the only one who sees the problem with what they're doing. Which may make you question yourself. It may make you think that you are the one who is at fault. But you're not. Narcissists often work together as a group. And they will challenge you. Because they've decided that what they think is more important than what you think.
They've decided to take away your freedom to act in a social environment. Because in their minds you are selfish. And you deserve to be punished. They will engage in rituals. They will engage in a sequence of activities involving gestures, words, actions or objects. And it will be done in the same way every time. They will establish a systematic procedure. They will convince you that your voice doesn't matter. As though their opinions and beliefs are more important. They will brainwash you. They will pressure you into adopting radically different beliefs, by using systematic and forcible means. And they will punish you. They will keep you down. They will keep you in subjection and hardship, by the unjust exercise of their authority. They will control and rule you in a harsh and cruel way.
They will weigh heavily on your mind. And they will cause you to feel uncomfortable and worried. Because they're stripping you of your individual rights. By dominating you with their groupthink mentality. The desire for conformity in a group often results in an irrational and dysfunctional decision-making outcome. Because they come to a consensus without critical reasoning or considering the consequences or alternatives. They think you're selfish because you're not doing what they want you to do. Because you're not participating in their activities and interests. But you have the right to make your own personal choices.
So you should not feel like you are being selfish. But as a collective mental activity, they will make assumptions for your personal choices. And they will think the worst of you. They will assume that you think you're better than everyone else. So they will try to bring you down. They will cause you to feel less important or proud. And this is where it becomes very dangerous for you. Because first they will silence you. And then they will try to destroy you. Because they hate that you are different. They hate that you have your own voice.
When narcissists work together as a group, you can't just go no contact with the narcissist. You need to cut them all off. You need to walk away. Without trying to get them to see what they're doing wrong. Because they're never going to see their wrongdoing. They're only going to blame you. So leave them behind. Before their behaviour gets worse. Abusers always have an excuse. They always have a justification for the abuse. And the abuse always escalates. It gets worse over time.
I know this is true. My husband was a narcissist and my girlfriend, my only outside friend was a narcissist. I had no idea at the time. I look back now and I realized that they were working together to make me look foolish. I have a very generous and kind heart. When my girlfriend's husband left her and she had to get a job, I went every day with her and worked and I didn't ask for any money. She took advantage of that and would drop me off at work and then say she had somewhere to go and leave me there for the whole shift. I did her job for her. She didn't appreciate it. My husband…