Updated: Mar 6
What is the purpose of these illusions? What are they doing it for? Is it to manipulate and trick you? Is it to mess with your mind? I'm going to get into it right here. They use your senses against you. They use your desires, wants and needs against you. Anything you naturally sense, desire, want or need is a threat to them. Anything that makes you happy, satisfied or fulfilled is a threat to them. The reason for this because they know that there is no limit to their desires, wants and needs.
Nothing could ever sustain their happiness or make them satisfied or fulfilled. They look at you and how you can obtain happiness, satisfaction and fulfilment with minimal time and effort. It makes them hateful and angry towards you, it makes them envious and jealous of you. It makes them want to take away your happiness, satisfaction and fulfilment and whatever or whoever is providing you with that.
Narcissists get a sadistic kick out of sabotaging your happiness or success and also preventing your achievements or progression in any aspect of your life. Because they know that they will always be miserable and dissatisfied. They are predestined to feel that way, they are already doomed. So they don't see any point in trying to make things right with you. They know that they are doomed so what's the point of even trying. If you know that you are doomed and predestined to be miserable, why would you bother trying to make anything work out?
Instead they spend their lives chasing their narcissistic supply, trying to find happiness and satisfaction, never truly finding it. Like a bottomless bucket, they can never be truly happy or satisfied. So the way they see it is, if they have to be miserable and dissatisfied for the rest of their lives, you should be too. And they understand that you can be happy and satisfied with far less than they can. So you must have far less sources or opportunities to be happy or satisfied than they do. That's how they even the playing field, because they know that they are at a disadvantage.
They have to sabotage your success, prevent you from achieving or obtaining. They have to abuse and manipulate you.All of this to even the playing field and try to make you as miserable and dissatisfied as they are, or worse. As long as you are happier or more satisfied than they are, or if they think you are, or if you are trying to be... they will always be hateful, angry, envious and jealous towards you. They need you to believe a lie, not for you, but for them.
For their own illusion of happiness and satisfaction. They need you to play the role in their illusion. They are unhappy and dissatisfied with their lives, no matter how much they have or what they have. Creating these illusions is their way of escaping from reality. It appears as though they are trying to present an illusion to you, but it's actually for themselves. They just need you to believe in the illusion, to make it real for them. They want to be something great, they want to be everything you could ever desire, but they don't want to put the work in.
So they create these illusions, it's all about convincing themselves that they are what you desire, they are something significant to you. They are something significant that you need in your life. Or at least that's what they want you to believe, so that they can live in that illusion, that fantasy... and experience a short burst of happiness and satisfaction... or at least the illusion of happiness and satisfaction. The illusion of being desired and wanted. Because we know, there were times when they were never wanted.
They were abused and neglected by parents or previous partners, rejected by someone they were once interested in. This is what makes them so hungry for that illusion of being desired and wanted. The problem is, they can never get enough. No amount of being desired and wanted will ever be enough for them. Which is why they are always going to cheat, they are never going to be able to sustain a relationship. When you have such low self-worth, self-esteem, self-belief and self-respect.
You really have no choice but to create an illusion where you are being desired or wanted. They don't know how to validate themselves, they need you to validate them. And that's why their illusions are so necessary, they need you to play your part to make them feel as though they are worth something. They are living a lie, they are lying to themselves and deep down I think they know that, but they don't care. You need to take your focus off them. Understand that these people really have nothing to offer you.
They will go out of their way to make you believe that they do, just to satisfy their illusion to themselves. But if they could really meet your emotional needs and share your happiness, satisfaction and fulfilment... they would have by now. It really doesn't take that long to find common ground and make something work. Just put yourself in that position, imagine if it was you that had to find common ground and a mutual understanding. It would be so easy... effortless, right? But for these types of people, it's not so easy, it's not that simple.
I have doubts whether they are even capable of that, due to their emotional immaturity and need to look down on someone at all times to feel as though they are worth something. How can someone with that mentality ever be anything of value or significance to you? Narcissists can't give you anything more than an illusion. The illusion provides them with a short burst illusion of being wanted and desired by you.
It delays their usual feeling of being worthless and insignificant, at least for a short time. And then they go back to their lives, until they need another boost. If they took away the illusion, they would be exposing themselves for what they really are and you wouldn't want anything to do with them anyway. They know this, which is why they will put all of their belief and effort into the illusion. They will believe in it to the point where even they think it's real. But their illusions have nothing to offer you.
There is nothing of value or significance there. The illusion is not intended to give you anything valuable or significant. It is intended to provide them with a temporary feeling, a temporary illusion of being wanted and desired. They can't take away the illusion and try being real with you. Because they know you wouldn't be interested in that anyway.
If they really believed that you would find the real them desirable, why wouldn't they display that to you? But by being real and authentic with you, they are exposing themselves. You are seeing who they really are, and that is not pretty. That is everything you do not want in your life and they know this. Which is why they will do everything they can to maintain the illusion. To maintain that feeling of being wanted and desired by you. Because they don't want to feel worthless and insignificant any more. They were rejected by someone they really liked at some point.
They were abused or neglected as children by their parents. They thought if they were worth anything, why did they have to go through that? So now they spend their lives doing whatever they can to ensure that they will be desired and wanted... even if it's not really them, even if it's just an illusion... it's something. Now they need excessive attention, validation and approval. They need to display some form of value or significance to you. Even if it's not really them, even if it's not really what they are about... they don't care about being real or authentic.
They just want that feeling of being desired and wanted. That attention, validation and approval. Because of the rejection from that person they really liked, they don't want to feel that way ever again. So from now on, they are going to be doing the rejecting. Because it hurts them more to be rejected, than it could ever hurt you. Narcissists feel these negative emotions more intensely than most. And this goes all the way back to their childhoods, when they were abused or neglected by their parents.
They have always felt worthless and insignificant in their environment. They have always felt abused and neglected in some way by the environment. They have always felt as though they have been treated unfairly or unjust by the environment in some way. So this is where they are almost predestined to react in this way. They cannot be real or authentic with you because there is a risk that you will not accept them, you will not approve of them. They don't want to feel worthless or insignificant in their environment again.
They cannot fully give themselves to you, because there is a chance that they could be treated unfairly or unjust. Especially now that they are narcissists and can never be satisfied or fulfilled with anyone or anything. Whatever you do, they will always feel as though they are being treated unfairly or unjust. So they already know, that even if they just dropped the illusion. Even if they were real and authentic with you and you did accept them, you did approve of them... it wouldn't matter. Because they can never be satisfied or fulfilled by anyone or anything anyway.
So whatever happens, they will always feel as though they are being treated unfairly or unjust. And that's why they will not drop the illusion, not until they don't want anything more to do with you. Then they don't care about what you think about them, they don't care if you do not accept them or do not approve of them. At that point, that's what they want, they want you to hate them. It's a negative source of narcissistic supply. Just know, the narcissist cannot be real or authentic with you, at least not until they can't get anything out of you.
And once you've seen their real or authentic selves, full of hate, anger, envy and jealousy. You won't want anything to do with them anyway. So identify the illusions early on before they develop. Have an awareness of them so that you're not just spending your time feeding their need to be desired and wanted. Their need for attention, validation, power and control. Narcissistic supply. These types of people are not worth your time or effort. They can only give you the illusion that they are worth it.
Spend time with people who can offer you real value and significance. They don't need to create illusions because that's just who they are as people. They don't need to feel desired or wanted by anyone, because they are self validated and practice self love. Those are the kinds of people we should be spending time with. But of course they are very rare, probably less than 1% of the population. If you want to attract emotionally healthy people who practice self love into your life, you have to get on that frequency.
You have to raise your vibrations. Dr. Ross Rosenberg's Human Magnet Syndrome states that people who are self love abundant will be attracted to people who are self love
abundant. Narcissists and codependents will not be attracted to them and they will not be attracted to narcissists or codependents. So you have to get on that frequency of self love. You have to raise your vibrations if you want to attract these amazing people into your life. I have a playlist named "Healing From Narcissistic Abuse" which will provide you with specific steps on how to do this, so please check that out.
If you are watching this video, it suggests that you are already on a positive frequency. You are interested in developing your knowledge and awareness. Most of these people on these types of videos already have the capabilities to become self love abundant and experience real love. It's rare, but you do have the capabilities to experience that. And now you have the knowledge and awareness, so there's really no reason why you can't become self love abundant. There's no reason why you can't raise your vibrations and attract a partner who is emotionally healthy and self love abundant. And once you do that, you will no longer wonder why it never worked with anyone else. You will soon realise why they could never give you the love and respect you craved.