Narcissists Relate To Things That Have Nothing To Do With Them They make or show a connection to things that do not concern them. They identify with things that do not relate to them in any way. They do this by establishing or indicating who or what something is and then associating themselves with it. They might project parts of their identity on to it. If they are relating to a person, they will identify with them and they will project parts of their identity on to them. They make associations or connections to things that are not relative to them.
They connect someone or something with something else in their minds, in such a distorted way that it might not make any sense to you. But it makes perfect sense to them, so they expect you to get it. It makes sense to them, because they have adjusted or regulated something in their minds so that it has a particular or suitable relationship to something else. They have a poor sense of proportion, which is the ability to judge the relative importance or seriousness of things. They have difficulty judging the relative importance or seriousness of people or things.
So in their minds, in their reality, everything is moldable to whatever is more desirable or favourable to them. They are melting the fixed or restricted patterns of the identities of people or things. If you are around them long enough, they will begin to guide or determine the growth or development of your perception or judgement. Due to their influence, you will begin to develop a distorted perception yourself. It will affect your ability to see, hear or become aware of something through your senses.
You may detach from the traditional way in which something is regarded, understood or interpreted. This then leads to poor judgement, you will begin to make poor decisions or come to insensible conclusions. And although the narcissist may have guided you down this rabbit hole, they are not going to accept any responsibility for your poor decisions or insensible conclusions. In their minds, they are not responsible for your decisions, even if they have taken control of your mind and basically made those decisions for you.
This all starts from them relating to things that have nothing to do with them. They will make or show connections or comparisons to things that do not concern them. Or they will make or show connections or comparisons between two things that are independent of them. Due to their obsessively controlling nature, they will repeatedly suggest or display the connections or comparisons between them and this person or thing, or between an independent person or thing. They will claim that there is a connection or a relation between them and this person or thing, or between an independent person or thing.
Narcissists experience distorted perceptions anyway, but they will do the mental gymnastics to make something more desirable or more favourable to them. Narcissists are always looking for shortcuts or simplicity. They want things to be easier to understand. So they will group or generalise certain people or things to simply or reduce the diversity of them. A narcissist will take a difficult and complex logical thought process and find a way to perform it effortlessly. But because they don't take the proper time or effort to figure things out, they end up with a conclusion or outcome which lack clear or sound reasoning.
It makes sense in their world, but to anyone outside of their world it makes no sense. That's why they have to bring people into their world and get them to adopt their associations or connections, their distorted interpretations. And then get them to choose or favour their way of doing things over the long-established traditional way of perceiving the world. This can have damaging effects on you, once you decide to adopt their way of thinking, once you decide to go down that rabbit hole with them.
You will lose touch with reality and while with this new way of perceiving the world, things may make more sense in their world. Once you decide to leave their world, nothing will make sense. Because their world has it's own meanings and interpretations which are independent of the real world. You made the choice to adopt their way of doing things, because you wanted to learn or understand where they were coming from. You wanted to understand why they do the things they do and you thought that was the only way you could learn.
The problem is, once you enter the rabbit hole with them, there is a chance you won't make it out in a sane state of mind. Because you're not engaging or interacting with someone from the sane world. You are involved with someone who has their own world, with its own meanings and interpretations, which you will have to adopt to exist in this world. But once you've adopted the meanings and interpretations of their world and then you go back to reality, nothing makes sense anymore. Reality may become too much to deal with, too much to understand.Then you just want to give up on reality.
If they have to distort, reinterpret or misjudge someone or something in their minds to have a more desirable or favourable interpretation or outcome, they will do it and they will expect you to see it the same way. If you don't, they will continue to suggest or display the connections or comparisons between them. They will pressure you and become passive aggressive, making you feel awkward or uncomfortable, until you finally do comply and see things the way that they do.
It's designed to make you lose your sense of direction. It's designed to make you question your sanity, your memories and your perception of reality. It is their way of targeting your confidence and self esteem. Until you are left questioning whether what you are experiencing, thinking and feeling is real or just a fantasy made up in your mind. The goal of this behaviour to create uncertainty and confusion within you. It makes it easier for them to control you. The more they can get you to doubt your own thoughts, feelings, value, significance and importance, the easier it becomes for them to dictate every situation to their liking or preference.
If you try to challenge them, the goalposts will be moved so that they can reverse the argument on to you and portray you as being deficient or not right. Eventually, you will become deprived of strength and power. You will be filled with fear and doubt and willing to do or believe whatever they expect from you. This is how it has to be when you are around these people. They cannot have an independent person who has their own thoughts, feelings and beliefs. Their own perceptions of reality. That is a threat to their world.
They cannot survive for long periods of time without the distorted meanings and interpretations of their world. If they just discarded the meanings and interpretations of their world, they would have to face the truth of the situation and accept reality. They created this fake world to escape from reality. To exist in their world, you have to accept their distorted meanings and interpretations. But once you get out of that rabbit hole, nothing will make sense to you anymore. And that's why it's so dangerous to engage or interact with these types of people.
They want to pull you into their world where they can dominate and control you. Where the only things that make sense to you is what they've dictated to you. It develops an inability for you to exist independently outside of their alternate reality. And that's exactly what they want. They don't want you to leave their alternate reality, because then you could be free. They want to trap you in this alternate reality, where the real world no longer makes sense to you any more. You develop this sense of uncertainty and self-doubt.
You no longer believe in yourself. You don't think you are worthy or deserving of anything more valuable or significant. You just accept what the narcissist has laid out for you and just assume that is all you are worthy or deserving of, because that's what you've been led to believe. That's what you had to believe to exist in their world. This video is the first step to you finally freeing yourself from the narcissist's alternate reality or fake world.
The next step is to begin engaging or interacting with people outside of their world. People who you can trust and who will understand that you developed these distorted meanings and interpretations from dealing with the narcissist. The narcissist is counting on you feeling shameful or uncertain, to never want or desire to engage or interact with people outside of their world. They are counting on your fear of being judged to override your desire to talk to someone outside of their world.
Accepting your shame, accepting your uncertainty or fear of being judged will free you from their world. Normal, healthy people will understand. They will not judge or ridicule you for what you have experienced or the effects of the abuse. Accept your shame. Accept your uncertainty and self-doubt. Believe in yourself. You are worthy and deserving of so much more. You are capable of so much more. You have so much value to give to the world. And there is a great world out there.
Greater than what you were led to believe. Where people love and respect you. Where people recognise and appreciate your value and significance. You may have felt limited or restricted in the narcissist's world. But the real world is fun and exciting. And it has so much to offer you. So leave the narcissist's fake world behind. And start preparing yourself for the real world, which has so much to offer you.
It is World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day today. Be aware that many narcissists may feel triggered to reflect on their shame on this day. Which means they could be easily triggered by things you say or do, if they are aware that it is World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day today. I thought it would be a good idea to discuss this aspect of gaslighting, as I know it is something that a lot of people deal with.