Narcissists Feel Inadequate They feel as though they are lacking the quality or quantity required, or that they are insufficient for a purpose. They feel as though they are not enough. As though they are deficient and do not have enough of a specified quality. They also have a scarcity mindset, where they believe that they are constantly in short supply. They believe that what they have will never be enough. Their thoughts and actions stem from a place of lack.
They target people who appear to have an abundance of a specified quality. Or people who they perceive as having more than they do. More capabilities or potential. This produces envy and jealousy within the narcissist. They want to sabotage what you've got going on or take it away. Everything the narcissist does to you of ill intent, comes from their feelings of inadequacy, envy and jealousy. Whether they are trying to sabotage something you're doing, or treating you with contempt. Whether they are trying to ridicule, torment, intimidate, humiliate, bait, trick, tease.
All of this stems from their feelings of inadequacy, envy and jealousy. They feel as though they are lacking the quality or quantity required, or that they are insufficient for a purpose. So they will torment and ridicule you, to make you feel the way that they do. They are projecting their feelings of inadequacy on to you. They want you to feel that you are not good enough or something is wrong with you. Narcissists do not self reflect or deal with their own emotions.
They prefer to project them on to someone else, so they can express those emotions for them. They are using you to boost their self-esteem and regulate their own emotions.
Furthermore, they targeted you because they were attracted to your qualities. They perceived you as having an abundance of a specified quality. Or as having more than what they do. This was great for them in the beginning. They saw you as an extension of them.
They believed that your qualities would rub off on them, or you would serve them. But once they realize that your qualities cannot be theirs or that you're not going to let your life revolve around them. This revealed the true separation between them and you. They realized that you are a separate person, your qualities could never be theirs, and you are not going to let them use you like an object for their own benefit or gain.
This is when they begin to feel inadequate. They targeted you because they believed your qualities would rub off on them, or you would serve them. But now that they have come to the realization that you are separate from them, you become the enemy. In their minds, all you are doing now is displaying to them everything they want but do not have. Which was actually the reason why they first targeted you, but they believed that you would serve them without them giving you anything in return.
Every time they are around you, every time they even think about you. They feel inadequate. They feel as though they are lacking the quality or quantity required, or that they are insufficient for a purpose. Likewise, they feel as though they are not enough. Furthermore, they observe you and believe that you do have the quality or quantity required, they believe that you are sufficient for a purpose. They believe that you are enough. Their feelings of inadequacy then allow them to experience envy and jealousy towards you.
This is why they are always trying to sabotage what you're doing or trying to take something away from you. They are trying to destroy the thing that they are envious of. They are trying to remove whatever is causing them to reflect on their feelings of inadequacy. Likewise, they will treat you as though you are worthless or beneath their consideration, they cannot acknowledge your greatness. If they were to acknowledge that, it would cause them to reflect on their feelings of inadequacy.
So they have to play the game and act as though you're nothing, to make themselves feel as though they are above you. They will even plot to sabotage whatever you've got going on as a way to level the playing field. In their minds, you have an unfair advantage. So they have to target whatever it is that you are naturally confident in. Wherever your natural capabilities or potential resides. They have to place a handicap on you. They have to place restrictions or limitations on you. And create circumstances to make your progress or success difficult.
They will then compete with you over whatever they have targeted, as a way of proving to you and to themselves that they are greater than you. Whatever they targeted, whatever they are using to compete with you, is the very thing that they were envious or jealous of, that's why they targeted it. That's why they are using it to compete with you and using it to demonstrate their value. Because it means something to them.
It is an indicator of value or significance. And it is intended to mean something to you, since it was the very thing that they targeted. This is how narcissists operate. They target a person who they perceive to be above them. Place a handicap, or restrictions and limitations on them. Create circumstances to make their progress or success difficult. And then display whatever they have taken from you or whatever they produced while making your life difficult. To prove that they are greater than you.
From a logical standpoint, it really makes no sense at all. If you have to take something from someone to be greater than them, or if you have to restrict or limit someone in any way, it suggests that you are not greater than them at all. Since you need to take something from them first, or you need to restrict or limit them. But this is how narcissists play the game. They have to play unfairly because they expect to lose. They have to cheat, lie or steal because they have a loser's mentality.
Not only that, but they don't believe they have the capabilities or potential to win, without cheating, lying or stealing. They steal your qualities, abilities or interests and then use them against you. Because they already know that without doing this, they would never be able to win. But when you think about it, they never really win. How can you win when everything you do comes from your feelings of inadequacy. This is why they can never be happy or satisfied. Because they don't feel whole or complete within.
They don't feel as though they are enough. That's why they have to take from you, or restrict or limit you in some way, and then attempt to display something of value or significance to you. This tactic is designed to make you believe that they are greater than you. From a logical standpoint, it makes no sense. But once they have taken something from you, or restricted or limited you, it is going to affect you emotionally. You are going to be viewing the situation more from your emotions. So when they do display something of value or significance, they have the ability to trick or deceive you and make you believe that they are greater than you.
When from a logical standpoint, this couldn't be further from the truth. The fact that they have to do this should remind you that you are greater than them. And they know that you are greater than them. If they didn't believe that you are greater than them, why would they ever need to take something from you?
Why would they ever need to sabotage what you've got going on? Why would they need to restrict or limit you? Why would they ever need to prove anything to you? They targeted you because they believe that you are something great, they believe that you are greater than them. The game is to make you believe that you're not good enough for them, when really they believe that they're not good enough for you.