Narcissists are inauthentic. They are not real people. They are whatever they think you want to see. Likewise, they will mirror you and appeal to your own ideals. They will tell you whatever they think you want to hear, they will show you whatever they think you want to see. Although, everything they tell you or show you isn't what they are about. Most often, it can be the exact opposite of what they are about. Here is an example. In the love-bombing phase, the narcissist may have told you that they are loyal, honesty or trustworthy. Later into the relationship, you discovered that they had been lying or cheating on you.
This is a perfect example where the narcissist has been inauthentic. They have proven through their actions that they do not honor the values they originally claimed to have. People who are authentic are going to be loyal, honest and trustworthy. They are not going to cheat on you. They are not going to lie or hide anything from you. People who are authentic will be loyal to you. They will be honest, and they will not hide anything from you. They will not be indirect or passive.
Furthermore, they will not need to sugarcoat anything or beat around the bush. People who are authentic will lay it all on the line. Of course, this is something a narcissist cannot do. Narcissists are incapable of being authentic or real. The whole personality and character of the narcissist is designed to hide their true nature and deceive you. If the narcissist was to be authentic or real with you, they would be exposing themselves. They would be exposing themselves for whom they really are, and then you wouldn't want anything to do with them. Narcissists are aware of this.
Which is why they will do everything they can to mask their true nature. Their true character and personality. Their true morals. Their true beliefs, values and principles. They know all too well that they are full of crap. They know that they do not honor the beliefs or values that they claim to have. Not only that, but they know that they have created a false character and personality designed to lure you in. And they know that it is only a matter of time until you figure them out. Which is why they usually won't stick around for long periods of time.
Narcissists are fake people. They are not genuine. They are inauthentic. Towards the end of the relationship, they may reveal who they really are. This is usually when they are planning to discard you or if they believe that you are going to discard them. Once you have seen their true selves, you may want nothing to do with them. Or you may reminisce on the false character they displayed to you, during the love-bombing phase.
You need to understand, that person was nothing more than a false character. An illusion which they created to lure you in. You need to forget about everything they told you, or showed you back then. You need to forget about everything they claimed to be about. Understand that these people are fake and inauthentic. They had no choice but to act this way towards you. If they chose to be real and authentic with you, you wouldn't want anything to do with them.
So they had to create this false character, just to keep you around. Just to secure you as a source of supply. They never cared about you. They never appreciated you. They never loved you. Likewise, they just wanted your attention, validation and admiration of them. They wanted your time and your energy. They wanted to control you and possibly isolate you. To do this, they had to make you believe that they were everything you could ever want. If they had told you straight up what they were really about and displayed their true selves to you.
You wouldn't have entertained even a second of their time. Narcissists cannot sustain a relationship or secure a source of supply without being fake and inauthentic. They have to make us believe that they are everything we have been looking for. Their true selves are everything we do not want in our lives. Narcissists have no emotional depth. They lack empathy. They are emotionally immature.
Furthermore, they hate themselves. They are full of hate, anger, envy and jealousy. They are pathological liars and cheaters. Likewise, they can never be satisfied or fulfilled with anything in their lives, which is why they are always so miserable. They cannot emotionally connect to you or be emotionally vulnerable. They are self-absorbed and only care about themselves and their own needs. Not only that, but they cannot put themselves in your shoes, so there will never be a mutual understanding.
These are just a few of the long list of traits and characteristics which these individuals have. So you can see why someone like this would need to create a false character. If they were real and upfront with you from the beginning, you wouldn't want anything to do with them. Most of the things they told you were most likely a lie. They were not about any of that. They use tactics like denial, blame-shifting, projection and gaslighting to make you believe that they are real and authentic and there is something wrong with you. You are the crazy person for even doubting their authenticity.
But this is not true. You are the authentic person. Narcissists are extremely manipulative. They are pathological liars and cheaters. They are everything that you do not want in your life, although they will try to manipulate you into believing that they are what you were looking for. You may have tried to talk to them. You may have tried to understand why they are so abusive and manipulative towards you. Likewise, you may have tried to find common ground or reach a mutual understanding. But this is something you will never achieve with the narcissist.
A mutual understanding or a resolution requires that both parties be honest and truthful with each other. This is something a narcissist cannot do. A narcissist cannot be real or authentic with you, because then they would be exposing themselves. Narcissists are already shameful of their abusive and manipulative ways, their sadistic and predatory nature. They do not want to acknowledge their dysfunctional thoughts or bizarre behaviors. They want to project all of their faults and mistakes on to you.
Narcissists do not want to take responsibility or accountability for any of their faults or mistakes. They do not want to self reflect or look within themselves. It's too painful for them to acknowledge all the negative emotions they have to experience every day. And this is why those negative emotions never go away. This is why they can never drown out the voice of their inner critic. This is why the abuse and manipulation will never end. And you will never find common ground or reach a resolution.
The first step to finding common ground or reaching a resolution is to be authentic and real with each other. You have to acknowledge your faults and mistakes. You have to take responsibility and accountability for what you have done, before you can pick apart someone else's faults and mistakes. Of course, the narcissist is in such deep denial and trying to protect their fragile egos. Their narcissism is a coping mechanism and a defense mechanism. It is designed to protect them from how they really see themselves, how they really feel about themselves.
That is why they are going to hold on to it with their lives. And do whatever they can to project their faults and mistakes on to you, and make you believe that you are the problem. I hope this video has given you further knowledge and understanding of the narcissist. Understand that they are not real or authentic people. Although they will do or say whatever they can to make you believe that they are. They will try whatever they can to make you doubt your intuition. Because they know that your intuition is potentially something that will detect and reveal what they are really about.