Narcissists Appeal To Your Own Ideals. What does this mean? This means that narcissists will make a serious, urgent or heartfelt request to your own preferred standard or principle. Whatever your preferred standard or principle is, the narcissist will make a serious, urgent or heartfelt request to be perceived in this way. They can do this with words, they can tell you what you want to hear. I'm sure at the beginning of the relationship, they told you they were loyal, honest or trustworthy.
You soon discovered that they were the exact opposite of that. They may have told you at some point that they loved you, while treating you in a way that did not demonstrate love. They may have told you that they wanted to marry you and have children with you... but none of that ever actualised. As well as telling you what you want to hear, they can also show you what you want to see. They might adjust their character or personality, the way they dress or display a preference or interest which is specific to you.
They will make you believe that this preference or interest is also a quality, trait or talent of theirs. They will make you believe that this is also something that they are interested in, this is what they are about. They will make you believe that they are interested in sharing this quality, trait or talent with you without an agenda, or without desiring to take something from you. The truth is, they are not about that at all... they just know that is your preference or interest and so they will use it to obtain narcissistic supply.
This sequence of events is exactly the same as what a predatory child molester would use to lure a child. The child molester might purchase candy, knowing that this is a preference or interest of the child. They will make the child believe that they like candy too and it is nothing out of the ordinary for them to possess this. They will make the child believe that they just want to give them the candy, as though there is no hidden agenda or ulterior motive. Like with the narcissist, the predatory child molester is obviously not interested in the act of giving or sharing candy with the child.
It's the same sequence of events. Just replace the candy with whatever quality, trait or talent they are using to lure you in. Depending on your situation, you could replace the use for sexual purposes with whatever else the narcissist is trying to obtain from you. Attention, validation, approval or admiration. A sense of power and control. Feeding off whatever emotion they are trying to make you feel. This is narcissistic supply, a quick boost to their self esteem. So you can see that there really is no difference between the sequence of events with the predatory child molester and the narcissist.
Child molesters are narcissists and narcissists are very predatory. I have done a video on this, so please check that out... Predatory Narcissists Are Like Child Molesters. The narcissist will not only mimic you, but they will mimic everything that relates to you and everything that appeals to your own ideals. They want to be seen, they want to be heard. You are being seen and heard. So they mimic you and everything that you are interested in.
I've had ex narcissists that would change their whole appearence. Their clothes, hair, make up, character and personality. They would take on the role of a celebrity I liked or if I saw someone on TV I was attracted to. They think that they can change copy their clothes, hair or make up and suddenly they are that person. This is something I have experienced most of my life, where people will change themselves in an attempt to appeal to my own ideals. They see that I am interested in something or someone which is ideal to my personal preferences or interests.
They cannot get the same fulfilment from their own preferences or interests, so they try mine and try to use them to appeal to me. They like to copy celebrities that I like, people who are attractive or charismatic. I guess the characteristic I should probably discuss here, is one that I have seen most often over the past few weeks. I'm going to try to explain this in a way that everyone can understand and then hopefully learn from. I like girls that can dance, especially girls that can twerk.
Twerking is a type of dancing which has been around since the 1980s, it has become mainstream again over the past decade. It involves thrusting of the hips and butt shaking often in a low squatting stance. I follow a few girls that can twerk and you see a lot of it in music videos. This is nothing new for me, a preference or interest that I have had for some time. But over the past few weeks, the narcissistic gang stalkers in my environment have somehow become triggered into some form of sensitivity towards this preference or interest which I have.
I think the reason for this is because I have been rejecting all of the girls that they have enforced and positioned in an attempt to interest me and then obtain narcissistic supply. There seems to be intense envy and jealousy towards girls I like that can twerk. I think this is because the narcissistic gang stalkers wish that they could possess the skills to twerk, so that they could then interest me and obtain narcissistic supply. Of course they do not have the skills to do this. But what I have experienced over the past few weeks is probably a hundred or more gang stalkers in my environment bending over and displaying their butts to me.
One woman's butt was so close to my face, it almost made physical contact. A strange behaviour but I think there is a lot that can be learned from this and it does relate to the topic of this video. Narcissists are willing to degrade and humiliate themselves in an attempt to obtain narcissistic supply. They have low self worth and low self esteem. So they will bail on their true character and personality to take on whatever they believe is your preference or interest, to get attention, validation, approval or admiration from you.
In the situations I have experienced, it wasn't something I could really validate, approve or admire. Naturally it was awkward and uncomfortable. I felt violated, disrespected... as though I had just been sexually abused. But narcissists don't see it that way. They are arrogant and have a sense of entitlement. They can abuse and disrespect you and they expect you to like it. They expect you to feel privileged for them to even take the time out of their day to abuse and disrespect you.
In their minds, they see that you are watching a girl twerk and they think "Oh I have one of those..." They don't consider that you can't just bend over and suddenly be a twerker. They also don't consider that they look nothing like the celebrity or dancer. They identify one characteristic or trait and believe that they can take on that role. They don't consider all of the other characteristics or traits which the celebrity or dancer has.
Like in my situation, they don't consider the skill of twerking. They don't consider the tone or shape of the girl's body and all of the hard work it took for her to achieve that. There are levels or processes to achieving the skill, achieving the body shape. Narcissists just identify your preferences or interests and if they can a single characteristic or trait in themselves, they will take on that role. Of course their perception of their characteristics or traits are distorted. And their view of themselves is as though they are looking through a broken prism.
This is how it is so easy for them to mould themselves into whatever they think you want to see. Of course, they don't see it from your view or perspective... so they don't realise how ridiculous they look. They hate their true selves. They hate their true character or personality. And they know that's not going to interest you. Which is why you will rarely see a narcissistic being their true, authentic selves around you. So they bail on their true character or personality. They try to appeal to your own ideals. And they will do anything to be noticed by you, anything to relate to whatever it is that you are interested in.
Even if it degrades or humiliates them. They are desperate for attention, validation, approval and admiration. Their perceived purpose in life is to obtain narcissistic supply from you. Narcissists will adopt your ideals. Your likes and interests. Whatever you like, whatever you are interested in... suddenly they are interested in that. Or at least that's what they want you to believe, but really they are just playing a role. As well as your physical likes and interests, this also applies to your beliefs, values and principles.
They will tell you at the beginning of the relationship that they are honest, loyal and trustworthy. Or they will imply this or display it to you in some way. You soon discover that they are the exact opposite of that. They were appealing to your own ideals, mirroring you. It's like holding a mirror in front of you. They are reflecting back what you are showing them, so that you will then reflect back your attention, validation, approval and admiration of them. They will then use this in an attempt to regulate their self worth and self esteem.
But it doesn't sustain them for long. Because it's not real self worth or self esteem. Self worth or self esteem is not supposed to rely on what people think about you or how they react to you. It is not meant to come from external influences. Self worth or self esteem is supposed to come from within, which is why it has "self" at the beginning. It only lasts until they get a negative thought in their minds and then they need to reflect back more of what you are showing to them.
So you will reflect back your attention, validation, approval and admiration of them. And they can use this to regulate their self worth and self esteem. It's just a never ending cycle which repeats itself again and again, as they try to hold on whatever self worth or self esteem they have left. Do not trust what they are saying to you or what they are showing to you. They are not really about that. They are just telling you what they think you want to hear. Or showing you what they think you want to see.
This is their attempt of obtaining narcissistic supply from you. They use it to regulate their self worth and self esteem. But it can never sustain them, because those qualities are supposed to be developed from within. Also it's not their true character or personality that we are giving attention, validation, approval or admiration to. The best you will get from them is a reflection of your own preferences or interests. Your own ideals. But nothing will ever actualise because it isn't real. It's just a fantasy for them, an illusion... which they will use to get whatever they can out of you in that moment. Most often it's narcissistic supply.