If you are an empath or codependent, it is highly likely that you have come into contact with a narc neighbour. Narc neighbours like to make themselves known. They want to be seen and heard. They want to feel powerful and in control of the environment. However, this is very conflicting with how they feel on the inside. Narcissists do not feel seen or heard, they do not see or hear themselves. They do not feel powerful or in control of the environment. They don't even feel in control of themselves. So now they have to use all of these bizarre behaviours, to compensate for that. They shout, make noise or whatever else will give them the attention they need. They want to be seen and heard. Because they are narcissists or narcissistic. They feel weak and powerless. To compensate for that they will enforce flying monkeys and create gangs or groups. It makes them feel more powerful and in control of the environment. They feel weak and powerless on their own.
Covert narc neighbours are cowardly. They are non-confrontational. They will never discuss whatever the issue is they have with you. But they will be passive-aggressive. This is a coping mechanism or a defence mechanism, which they learned in childhood. It is an adaptation to their parent's aggressive and controlling behaviour. If they tried to talk to their parent, it would be twisted around and used as ammunition to abuse them even more. So from a very young age, covert narc neighbours have learned to avoid confrontation. But all of that aggression has to come out at some point. So they developed these passive-aggressive coping mechanisms and defence mechanisms, to deal with their aggression. I'm going to give you some examples of what I deal with from my local group of narc neighbours. Maybe you have experienced something similar. Loud, banging noises to sensitise you to sound. The noises will become quieter over time once they believe you are sensitive to the
sound. Tapping noises on the wall or ceiling - These noises can follow you around your home. Loud engine noise from modified cars which do laps around your home. Car horns. Loud music from cars or homes. Shouting or talking, if they are near your window - The talking will be intentional and usually refer to you in some way. People waiting outside your home, ready to walk towards you as an act of intimidation. They will often to be walking or driving towards you, as you are going out. As you are walking home, they will time themselves so that they walk or drive out at the same time as you are coming in. They want to be seen.
People ringing your bell or knocking your door and then leaving. Cold-calling with no specific purpose. False accusations. Cars with specific colour coding, sometimes the colour of the car will match the colour of a person walking across the street. This is designed to alert you and make you wonder if it's a coincidence or how could they time it at that exact moment. It's designed to sensitise you to those colours and behaviours so that you will over-analyse anything you see later on. For more information on colour coding, please do a YouTube search. It is mostly related to gangstalking. I have experienced all of these bizarre behaviours, abusive and manipulative tactics all day every day for the past two and a half years. It becomes an obsession to them, an addiction. Each time they do it, they get a sense of reward as the dopamine neurotransmitter releases within their brains. You may wonder how they don't feel any guilt or shame when they do these things. I'm sure they did feel plenty of guilt and shame in the beginning. But over time they became desensitised as they normalised the behaviour. Their brains became more calculative and predatory as it realised that the feeling of guilt is no longer necessary in this environment. But it's different from shame. It's not as easy to get rid of shame. So each and every negative action of theirs is still producing the shame within them. The shame grows and gradually takes over their lives, while they do everything they can to avoid feeling that way, it never goes away.
As for overt narc neighbours, I don't really have much information on this, as all of my narc neighbours are covert cowards. But the knowledge I do have is that overt narc neighbours will never actually want to deal with the issue. They will make accusations often based on their own weak emotions and fragile egos. They will use confrontations and conversations as an opportunity to emotionally abuse you. Sometimes they can even become violent or cause physical damage to your property, so please be careful. For some visual examples of overt narc neighbours or overt gang stalkers, please search "gang stalking Australia" on YouTube. Why do narc neighbours engage in all of these bizarre behaviours? As I said before, it is a coping mechanism and a defence mechanism. It is an adaptation to the hostile environment they experienced in childhood. You may not have done anything wrong. This behaviour has more to do with them than it does to do with you. Narc neighbours are hateful, angry, envious and jealous. They can be envious and jealous of almost anything. Your home, your car, your family. They have to have the best of everything in the neighbourhood. If any aspect of your life dares to outshine them, it will cause a narcissistic injury. They will have it in for from that point. They will spread rumours about you, enforce flying monkeys and create a smear campaign.
Narcissists are emotionally immature toddlers. They never learned how to resolve conflict using the correct, official and established procedure. And that's why they stay stuck in this child-like behaviour for the rest of their lives. They never take responsibility or accountability for their actions. They never learn from their mistakes or faults, which means that they can never grow. Don't let the narc neighbours get to you. From their bizarre behaviours, you should realise that they are more miserable than you could ever be. Pay attention to the emotions behind what they are doing. Pay attention to what emotion is making them do what they do. Intense hatred, anger, envy and jealousy. They feel insecure and inferior to you. They feel powerless and out of control. And any time you present yourself to them, it triggers all of these emotions. They see you as this person with high self-esteem, high self-worth and self-belief. The exact opposite of them. So, of course, they are going to hate, of course, they are going to be angry. Of course, they are going to be envious and jealous of you. And these emotions are what drives their behaviour.
This is the lady in the shop beneath my flat! 4 years of banging on the ceiling, door slamming, following me, watching me out of the windows, nasty comments from afar, bitching about me to random people. I've done nothing except exist.. quietly! Any advice on how to deal with this and stop it from making my life miserable?!
That was pretty much I was thinking about covert narc. I agree with you. I have a covert narc neighbor. In 2021, he pointed out 5-6 securoty lights towards our backyard (we share a fence). We approached them in very polite and friendly manner by introducing ourselves and informing him our concerns. I guess he took it as weakness. He removed some lights but never stopped using the lights. A covert narc does intentional talk, knowing you are near them and somehow reffering you....very true. He did that as well. We approached him again in 2023 cuz he installed stupidly big lights. This time we were firm. We used the word "harassment". With his defence mechanism activated, he lied, whic…