top of page

Leave Before The Narcissist Does This

When you first met the narcissist, they were very engaging. They were interested in you. They took the time to listen to what you had to say. So naturally, you decided to invest more of your time into this relationship. Because at this time it was reciprocal. But it isn't long until the dynamic of the relationship begins to change. It isn't long until they lose interest in you. They get bored. Because the potency of your supply beings to diminish. And they need constant entertainment. So they become indifferent to you. And this is a point in the relationship where you should realise that something is wrong. You should leave. But many of us choose to stay because of our own internal wounds.

When the narcissist seemed to be interested in you, maybe they didn't occupy much of your brainwaves. Because you knew they would be there whenever you need them. Maybe you were more focused on other things. But when the narcissist becomes indifferent and they stop responding to you. It leaves you chasing after their validation. And it is actually psychologically damaging to you. Because it keeps you thinking that there's something wrong with you. Something that you have an inability to change. Rather than accepting that they have a disorder. Many people marry these narcissists that are indifferent to them. And those people end up being miserable. Because they're constantly running on a hamster wheel.

They're constantly chasing after the narcissist's validation. They're trying to make the narcissist happy. Which is an impossible task. It's a problem that cannot be solved. So those people who marry these narcissists just end up in a marriage that is very unsatisfying. They're never at peace. Because they always feel like they have to do more or be more. They never feel like they're enough. Because they're having to compensate for the narcissist's insecurities and their inability to be happy or satisfied. This is the danger of staying with the narcissist once they become indifferent to you. Once the narcissist begins devaluing you, you need to leave. There's no going back after that. Because nothing is going to change. The narcissist will not respond to you. But if you persist and do everything you can to be with them, you're just going to end up with someone who is wrong for you. You're going to end up with someone who will never be happy with you. And you will never be happy with them. They're just going to make you miserable. They're just going to ruin your life. Because they don't have the qualities to sustain a healthy relationship. They haven't even developed the qualities to take care of themselves. So they will never be right for you. Many people choose to stay with the narcissist, even after they become indifferent. Maybe because the narcissist is very attractive. Or maybe because the narcissist is very successful. There must be some quality that is making you stay. There must be something that makes you want to be around them. Or maybe they've just manipulated you into believing that they have something. And if you have something, you may be able to sustain the relationship, even while they are indifferent to you.

But why invest all of your time, energy and money into something like that? For someone who isn't crazy about you. For someone who isn't exactly what you want and need. Which is why when the narcissist becomes indifferent to you, you really need to leave them alone. Don't waste your time trying to make it work. Focus on people who want you. Focus on people who make the effort to be with you. If you're chasing after the narcissist when they are indifferent to you, that means there's an internal wound that you need to heal. There's an insecurity or perceived deficiency that you have within. Which you think you can correct by chasing after this indifferent narcissist. And maybe the narcissist has led you to believe that they are the missing piece to your puzzle. Maybe they have led you to believe that only they can make you feel whole and complete. When the reality is that only you can heal yourself. Only you can give yourself the validation that you need.

The missing piece to your puzzle is in your heart. And it was there all along. But you were looking for it outside of yourself. In people who didn't really want you. Because it's only when you realise your own value, that you see that they're no good for you. And they can never recognise your value, because they have no value of their own. They have nothing of value to bring to you. Which is why you're always unhappy when you're around them. Because they can't complete you.

They can only make you believe that they have what you want. By detaching you from reality. By pulling you into their world. And as long as you're under their spell, you will continue chasing them. But once you wake up, you will realise that they're no good for you. You will realise that it was just deception. They used brainwashing and mind tricks to put you in a trance. To make you their puppet. Where it's like a mirage. You think you've found something that's finally going to make you happy. If you can just do what they want. If you can just please them. But the real kicker is that they can never let you have them. They can never let you please them. Because although you don't know it, they already know that you're not going to find satisfaction even if you got them. You would get bored of them quicker than they got bored of you. Because they're very boring people. That's why they're always looking for entertainment. That's why they're always looking for the next shiny new toy. Because they can't even occupy themselves. Narcissists are very miserable people. So how are they ever going to please you, if they can't even make themselves happy? Leave the narcissist before they do this. Leave before they become indifferent to you. Because it's a trap. It's designed to trick and deceive you into doing something contrary to your interests and intentions. It's designed to lure you in and then confine you.

Where you end up chasing someone who doesn't even care about you. And you take your attention away from someone else who might adore you. Because you're just chasing this mirage. You're chasing something that doesn't even exist. And they know it doesn't exist. But as long as they can fool you and bring you along for the ride, they don't care. Narcissists do not respect reality. It means nothing to them. In reality, they're always at a disadvantage. They always lose. So why would they ever honour or respect it? They would rather put you on their playing field, where they have the advantage. Which is why emotions are so important to them.

Everything is based on your feelings. Because you can manipulate a person's emotions. You can mould it into whatever you want it to be. But the reality is that they will never fulfil you in the way that you think they will. It's never going to play out in that way. You can have that with someone who makes an effort to be with you. The one who likes the same movies or music as you do. The one who laughs at the same jokes or situations. You can't have that with someone who is not compatible with you. Because there will always be problems and conflict. You will never agree on anything. When you chase someone who is indifferent to you, you're just chasing your own unhealed traumas. Which is never going to solve anything. You have to accept that the narcissist is indifferent for a reason. You do not belong together. You are not compatible. That piece does not fit in your puzzle. So do not force it.

831 views1 comment

Recent Posts

See All

1 Comment

Spot on! Wish I knew of this when i was 29 yrs old because that's when I met him. We were off & on for 35 yrs. I wasted my life for him. I'm 66 yrs old now & Im proud to be no contact for 18 months! This last time I feared for my life & my sanity. Im safe & happy now. Good luck survivors! Please get outta there! Don't waste your life like I did. Thank you NS! You Rock!! Blessings to all...💗💃💃💃💩💩💩💗💗

bottom of page