When you want to move on from the narcissist, the first thing you need to understand is that you have an energetic connection to the narcissist. A bond or link between you and them. There is a transfer of energy that is still connecting you to the narcissist. If you are thinking, speaking or even writing about them at length, or if your attention continues to linger on them. If you feel any disappointment, anger, resentment or fear towards them, or even if you are just excessively trying to understand your experiences with them. This prevents you from escaping the energetic connection.
When you were engaged with the narcissist, you were absorbing their energy and their energy is still there. If you are thinking about them or if you are concerned about what they might be doing. If you feel any disappointment, anger, resentment or fear towards them, those emotions are connecting you to them. It brings you into their energy field, which has a very low emotional vibrational frequency. It brings you down and keeps you at a low level where you may then develop anxiety or depression. You might experience a lot of bad luck. The reason for this is because you still have an energetic connection to the narcissist. You're still tuned into their emotional vibrational frequency. It's no different to tuning in to the frequency of a television or radio broadcast. Whenever you think about them, whenever you give your attention to them, you are tuning in to their frequency.
You have to sever the energy that ties that you have to the narcissist. You have to stop overthinking and over-analysing about what happened with them. When you observe the narcissist, you can see that they have an arrested psychological development. When you observe their actions or words, you know that they are stuck at a certain situation or experience in their past, which has caused them to have poor psychological development. These could be the beginning stages of what is happening to you, where you are now stuck at a certain situation or experience in your past.
The trauma that you experienced has made it difficult for you to move on. You can't move on because you have developed an obsessive attachment to trying to figure out why they did what they did. This is what arrests your psychological development. The more time you spend trying to figure out why they did what they did, the more you are going to impair your psychological development, which would otherwise be focused on healing from this. You have been through something traumatic and it was a deeply distressing or disturbing experience. But the longer you stay in the state of trying to understand what happened, you
are then impairing your ability to move on, which then affects your psychological development. When you can't psychologically develop, you will continue to experience the same situations or experiences.
You need to break the mental and emotional connection between you and the narcissist. Otherwise it will keep you on their interconnected network, where they are still able to feed from you, which will cause your condition to become progressively worse. Because they are draining you of your energy, the energy that is meant to sustain you, which is why you need to focus on something else. You need something else to think about, something else to be involved in. The longer you stay in the state of trying to understand what happened to you, it will pull you into their world and you may even become more like them. They will have even more of an influence on you and your behaviour and over time you may even develop narcissistic personality traits. This is why you need to divert your attention from the narcissist and focus on something different or more pleasurable.
You may feel anger or shame for what you went through with them, but you have to forgive yourself, you have to see it as something that you can learn from. Instead of focusing on the pain and distress that you went through, focus on the lessons that you have learned from these situations or experiences. This will then break the energetic connection between you and them. Being angry or upset is only going to keep you connected to that out-of-control disordered network where they live their lives and you are bringing our energy into your life, which causes you to experience health issues or bad luck. You need to mentally and emotionally separate yourself from the narcissist. You need to develop a difference in opinions and interests. You need to make a radical change from everything you have established with them, so that you can then move on from them and recover in a healthy manner.
If you do not take the time to heal from this, even when you try to move on in the next relationship or situation, you won't be able to enjoy or benefit from it. Even though it may be a far greater and more healthier situation for you, you won't be able to see it because you're still fixated on what happened to you in previous situations or experiences. Your energy and mind will be so disconnected from perceiving of that reality, that you won't even be aware of it. You won't even be able to perceive that level of vibration, because you're still locked into the lower levels from being energetically connected to the narcissist. Which will only continue the cycle of disappointment, anger, resentment and fear. You will begin to produce these emotions within yourself, which will leave you unable to move on to something greater or more healthier for you.
This totally resonates with me…. I don’t think I have ever read anything more accurate about the way I feel and I believe is true about the narcissist….Thank you for your wise words NS! ❤️
I am hoping to get some advice from NS. Since you have in-depth wisdom and experience and, as a narc being an abnormal human being in mind and emotions, i wish to ask the following question. I was forced to obtain a protection order just to keep the narc away from my home and place of work. With a protection order comes a court hearing date. Is it worth me going to court? as i just want to move on. The protection order remains in place even if the applicant (me) does appear in court with him. The fact that i just want to move on and wont gain anything from appearing in court with him (the narc). The narc…
I'm relieved more than anything but, you are so right, NS, even the low vibration must be calmed before all the promises we made ourselves can be sought and peace within prevails.. 🦅🙏🌈
This is so on point. I'm having an extremely difficult time wt this moving on. I have a beautiful home now. Far away from him. Been no contact for 9 months & i still am devastated my his hateful attitude. I can't shake it. And it's debilitating. I will try harder. This is by far my favorite topic bc i need to be able to enjoy life again. Ty NS 💜💌💋