How to make the narcissist experience severe mental suffering. How to make the narcissist experience extreme anxiety, sorrow or pain.
When you have been involved with a narcissist, it is likely that you have been abused, often for a very long period of time. No amount of punishment on their victims ever satisfies a narcissist. The narcissist will abuse you again and again just from one incident. They hold
grudges and resentment and use manipulation tactics such as denial, projection, blame-shifting and gaslighting, all designed to avoid responsibility and to hold you accountable for their actions. Naturally when you have been involved with an abuser like this, you may desire to seek revenge, you may decide to hurt them in return for the injury or wrong that you have suffered at their hands. You may decide to bring them to justice.
The most important thing to the narcissist is supply. They might act as though they are interested in you in the beginning, but you are nothing more than an object that provides them with supply. The supply is what you are providing them with. It involves emotional regulation, feeding their ego, boosting their self-worth, self-esteem and self-importance. It makes them feel powerful and in control, significant and important, desirable and attractive. It makes them feel as though they exist and as though they are worth something. When they first engaged with you, this is the supply that they were looking for, this is what they desired and expected from you. It had nothing to do with you as a person. They were not interested in you, they were interested in the supply that you could give to them. Of course the supply has more value if the narcissist deems their source to be a powerful or attractive person. But even then, they see you as nothing more than an object that exists to serve them, an object that provides them with narcissistic supply. That is all that really matters to them.
They use you to make themselves feel the way that they want to feel, but it never
lasts and that is why they need to keep you around. They need to try and secure
you as a source of supply, so that you are always around to provide them with
what they need.
When the relationship moves to the devaluation phase and the narcissist begins to find faults, mistakes, flaws and imperfections, whether real or imagined. The supply that you're providing them with is no longer as potent, it no longer has the power, influence or effect that it once did. This is where the narcissist will begin seeking out fresh sources of supply.
While they continue to devalue you, they are still getting supply by devaluing you and gaslighting you. It makes them feel powerful and in control, significant and important. But the narcissist also also wants to feel desirable and attractive, they need someone to admire
them and attend to them. They seek out a secondary source of supply who can then provide them with this positive attention. Once they have found this secondary source, they will begin grooming them. They will begin preparing or training them for the purpose or activity of providing them with supply. Once the secondary source is secured and fully prepared or trained to do this, they will then discard you and advance them to the primary position.
The narcissist has to discard you, they have to be in control of this process and it has to play out in the way that they would like. They have to be able to look at you as the problem, as the one who can't do anything right. For them to feel superior and as though they are moving on to something better with a new source.
Discarding the narcissist before they are able to move their secondary source to the primary possession will make them suffer forever. They will never forget it, they will never be able to move on. They will always remember that you were the one to discard them, they will always see you as being superior to them. It will cause them severe mental suffering. It will cause them to experience extreme anxiety, sorrow and pain, especially if you discard them before they start to devalue you.
If you discard them during the love bombing phase, when they are doing everything they can to secure you, when they are putting out maximum effort to impress you. You are invalidating their false self and the illusion that they are trying to display. They created this false self to cope and defend against how they really feel about themselves. The false self is meant to be everything that they believe they are not, it is meant to be everything that you could ever want them to be. If you discard them during the love bombing phase, when they are doing everything they can to secure you and putting out maximum effort to impress you.
position, it will cause some severe. They will never forget about it. Whenever they are reminded about it, it will cause a narcissistic injury and they will feel worthless and undesirable. No matter how grandiose or arrogant they are acting in that moment, they will soon deflate and begin to feel small. If you discard the narcissist before they are able to move the secondary source to the primary position, it will cause them severe mental suffering. Especially if you discard them before they start to devalue you.