If you want to get rid of the narcissist, you need to go no contact. You need to block them on social media. You need to block their phone number. You need to give them the same treatment that they have given to you. You need to give them the silent treatment. But of course, it's easier said than done. It's not easy to leave someone who has been in your life for years. But if you want to be yourself and get your life back together, you have to go no contact. Because you cannot be yourself or have your life together while you are around the narcissist. When you are around the narcissist, they will always force you to choose them over yourself. Because that's the only way that they can function. But when you go no contact, you are choosing yourself over the narcissist. You are giving yourself the value and respect that you deserve. The value and respect that you will never get from the narcissist. Which may seem like the wrong thing to do. Since they have eroded your self-esteem.
To where you may feel like you're not worth anything. But the narcissist always puts themselves first. They always choose themselves over you. So for once, why not put yourself first? Why not choose yourself, instead of the narcissist? They may call you selfish. They may see it as an act of betrayal. But that's only because they're very insecure. They feel like they're not enough. Which is why they want you to be dependent on them. They want to be in control of you. They want to be in control of everything. But when you go no contact, you are taking away their control. And it really gets to them. They may act like they don't know why you've gone no contact. But deep down, they do know. They know they screwed up. They just don't care. They don't want to take accountability for anything. And normally, they never need to. Because when they screw up, you forgive them. Which makes them think that what they're doing is ok. But when you go no contact, it has a strong effect on them. But it doesn't mean that they will just leave you alone and forget about you. Narcissists have lost control of their mental faculties. They are crazy. They are foolish. So many of them will continue to stalk and harass you. The only thing they will really respond to is legal action. When you go no contact with the narcissist, you have to go no contact with everyone else as well. You have to go no contact with all of their family members. And maybe even your mutual friends. When you do that, it will drive them insane. Because they have abandonment issues. It will cause them to become obsessed with you. And then they will try to get other people to contact you. Which is why you need to cut everyone off. Because as long as you're around the narcissist or anyone who knows them, you become an enabler. You're enabling the abuse to continue. Because you're still giving them the opportunity to make it even worse. No matter what a narcissist does to you, they see it as though it can't be that bad if you're still around. And even when you go no contact and then later return, they just see it as an opportunity to punish you even more. When you go no contact with the narcissist, they will keep trying to reach out to you. They will continue to harass you. Because they're not expecting you to stand up for yourself. They're not expecting you to be strong. They think they've been around you long enough to know who you are. They've studied you. And they think they've identified your limits.
They think they've identified what you're capable of. Which is how they're able to continue with the abuse. Because there's no immediate consequence as a result of their actions. There's no immediate effect. There's no limits. Which means that anything is possible. Anything can happen. They see a boundary as something for them to cross. Because it's all they've ever known. It was taught to them in their childhood. So now it's all they know how to do. Which is why when you go no contact, it just makes them want to pull you back into the mix. It makes them want to bring you back into the dysfunction. Because they don't want to be in this world on their own. They don't want to be left alone with their own thoughts and feelings about themselves. You are their distraction. You prevent them from focusing on themselves. Which is why when you go no contact, it drives them insane. Just as it may have drove you insane when you were around them. Because even they can't stand their own company. Even they don't want to be around themselves.
The ultimate goal and revenge is very clear in here. *may have driven
My stalking narc neighbor is going through this now. I see him waiting desperately on the sidewalk hoping to see me come out of my house. Thanks NS. I started to feel bad to see the desperation like that in anyone. But I did not do anything about it.