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How Narcissists Keep You From Moving On

They give you false hope. They make you believe and give you confident feelings about something that is not true. They tell you lies. They give you empty promises. To leave you in an unsettled state without resolution. To keep you hanging on with the thought of something better. With the thought of achieving your desired outcome or result. Because if they can get you to continue in this dangerous and difficult situation. And you're able to stay patient. You're able to accept and tolerate delays, problems, and suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious. Because you believe you're going to get a return on your investment.


You believe it's going to benefit you in the end. Then you're more likely to stop worrying and thinking about and endure all of the disruption that they're causing. They future fake. They lie and promise something about your possible future in order to get what they want in the present. Because it makes you drop your guard and relax. It makes you think that although things may be bad now, it's going to get better at some point in time. You will be rewarded for everything that you're going through. But the problem is that it's always in the future. You never actually receive the things that they were promising. The things that you were expecting to receive. But it works. It's effective. Because you get caught up in the future.





You use it to justify everything that the narcissist is doing. Because they said that things are going to get better. And they even showed you glimpses of the future. They made it look like they were taking steps to make it a reality. Until you started to believe it. But it was one step forward and two steps back. They always pulled back. They showed you a glimpse of the future, but then they went backwards. Sometimes they were on their best behaviour. Sometimes they showed you there was a chance that things could change. But then there were other times where destructive and confused activity would begin. They dangled a carrot in front of you.


They offered a positive consequence or incentive to you in exchange for you taking an action that you were not internally motivated to take. And you got so invested in wanting to make it happen. Because you put a lot of your time and energy into it. So you wanted a return on your investment. You didn't want it to stop. But it was future faking. It was only intended to mislead you. It was based on false hope and false beliefs. Because you were never going to get what you had hoped for and believed in. But they tricked you. They got you to believe that it could be a reality. But they were never going to take the steps to make it happen.


You pressured them into continuing with their actions. And they acted as though they would continue the task to its conclusion.If you would just be patient. If you would just give them more time. They stalled and delayed the event, so that they could gain more time. While you invested more and more of yourself. Until you eventually accepted less than what you hoped for. Because in the end, you never got what you wanted. You settled for less than what they initially promised. They got the full capacity of your efforts and results. But they only gave you a fraction of what they promised. Or they gave you nothing at all. Because it was all fake.They lied to you.





At some point you get fed up. You come to the decision that you need to get something back in return for your efforts and results. Because you waited. You did everything they wanted you to do. So you're fed up of waiting for them to provide what they promised and what you expected. And this is when the narcissist will ghost you. This is when they will end all communication and contact with you. Without any apparent warning or justification. And they will ignore your attempts to reach out or communicate with them. They will ignore your texts, emails, and phone calls. They will avoid you in public. Because you let the situation complete its development without interference.


It's done all it needed to do. They've done all of the faking and lying. They've made the event appear to happen. They gave you broken promises. They concealed their defects and made themselves appear more attractive, interesting, and valuable in order to deceive you. And they know they can't extract anything more out of that situation. So they ghost you. You've been tricked. You've been cheated. They got you to believe in a false promise. A promise that was made with no intention of carrying it out. They just used it to induce their desired behaviour. And it's very powerful. It's very effective.


When someone keeps telling you that things are going to change. When they keep telling you that things are going to get better. But you never see any consistent progress. And it keeps going back to the start. They're future faking. They have no intention of making it happen. It's just something they're using to make you do more than necessary. To make you put out more. And to bind you to a certain course. Because you're holding out for their false promises.


You're trusting them without understanding or using your judgment. So you give your all. You do and give as much as you can. You give your best efforts. But you don't get anything out of it. Which is why when this happens, you need to stop and look at it for what it is. You need to realise that right now there's no equal exchange. And you shouldn't have to wait for things to change and be better. Because that's how you get conned, swindled, cheated, and unfairly deprived.


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