You want to help the narcissist. You want to save them. You showed compassion towards them. And they took advantage of that. They will leech off you. They will drain you. And then they will break you down. And it is often our lack of awareness and experience that enables this to happen. That is how they are able to get in and deceive us. Which is why this video is about spreading awareness of what they do. So that we can better protect ourselves. Because you're investing your time, energy and money into the narcissist. You're losing things that hold great value. And you're hoping to receive something in return to replenish yourself. To sustain the relationship. Because if you're rowing a boat in one direction and they're rowing the opposite way, you're not going to get anywhere. You're not going to achieve anything. There's not going to be a positive outcome or result. But a relationship is meant to be reciprocal.
There's meant to be an equal exchange. But when you're involved with a narcissist and you're expecting something in return. You end up feeling selfish and as though something is wrong with you. You assume that you haven't done enough for them. So you do more and more. Because it makes you feel worthless. You feel like you've been treated unfairly. Like you've been forced to accept something you don't like. Because you're expecting something in return from the narcissist. You're expecting them to love you and be a supporting partner. Which is something they're never going to do, because they don't care about you. They see you as an object that exists to meet their needs. They see it as though they're meant to consume from you. Not the other way around. And you may want to help them. You may want to teach them the value of giving and being there for someone. So that they can experience the same warmth and joy that you experience from giving to them. But you cannot save them. You cannot get them to see the errors of their ways. Because they don't believe anything is wrong with them or their outlook on life. They believe they've got it all figured out. And you're just meant to do what they need you to do. And not have any needs of your own. They don't think things need to change. Because they're quite comfortable with how things are. They're getting what they need from you. And as long as you keep quiet about your needs, everything will be ok.
That's how they see it. They don't want your help. They don't want to change anything about themselves. They don't want to fix anything. And you can't make them. You can't force someone to do something that they don't want to do. And you shouldn't see it as your problem. They have to figure things out on their own. They don't think how normal people think. They're not going to do what most people would do. They're very unpredictable. Which means that anything could happen. There's no forseeable outcome or result. It's just their magical thinking. They feel superior. They act arrogant and entitled. So they believe that they're always going to get what they want. And their actions and decisions are based on the benefits and conveniences that they can receive. Which is why they're always looking for the bigger better deal. They're always looking for the next shiny new toy. But it's all a fantasy.
I remember trying to fix everything so that my narcissistic husband would come home and everything would be exactly as he would want it. And, he was still miserable. When asked him to actually do something, he either ignored me or pouted about it or actually did do it because, that way he could tell everyone what he did for me. I remember coming to the end of my rope one time. I walked up to him and said, I don't want you to clean the house, I don't want you to do the dishes, I don't want you to mow the lawn, I just want you to let me do it without you laying across my back as …
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